Hello

[Invisible1]

Hello I would like to introduce myself. I recently started therapy for past abuse by my father and uncle. I am a survivor of child prostitution, or whatever it is called. Trafficking. I was sold and used and trained by my father and uncle from a young age. 

My question to you all is, how do you keep going? I am being flooded with memories, I have complex PTSD. 

Im not sure it’s worth fighting through most days. 

Theyre both dead now, so can’t hurt me now, which is cool. 

I have a husband and children who love me unconditionally. I’m so thankful for that. 

They are what is keeping me fighting. 

[silentg]

Hello @Invisible1,

Welcome to AS!  I am sorry for the trauma that brought you here. I am glad your perpetrators can no longer hurt you but you are right, it takes a long time before the memories leave us in peace. I am glad you have started therapy, and I hope you will find that it is worth fighting for yourself! I also keep on going for my husband and children sometimes, and in the past that was sometimes all that has kept me going,  after a few years, I feel I can live for myself again. I hope that you will be patient with the time it takes to heal, as you say, this started at such a young age. I am sorry they hurt you so much and sold you, it's beyond a horrific thing to do to a child, you deserved family who would love and protect you.  I hope you will find this a safe place to reach out and feel supported and validated as you progress in your healing journey,

g

[Capulet]

Hello, @Invisible1, and a hearty welcome to After Silence!

I am deeply sorry to hear of what you have been through but am hopeful that being here will help you to see you are not alone in this journey and that being here brings you eventual peace and comfort.  This is a great community and it is my hope that you'll feel incredibly supported here!!

Wishing you well,

Capulet

[Struggling88]

Hi, Invisible1, and welcome! 

[Invisible1]

Thank you for the kind welcomes. 

[MeBeMary]

6 hours ago, Invisible1 said:

Hello I would like to introduce myself. I recently started therapy for past abuse by my father and uncle. I am a survivor of child prostitution, or whatever it is called. Trafficking. I was sold and used and trained by my father and uncle from a young age. 

My question to you all is, how do you keep going? I am being flooded with memories, I have complex PTSD. 

Im not sure it’s worth fighting through most days. 

Theyre both dead now, so can’t hurt me now, which is cool. 

I have a husband and children who love me unconditionally. I’m so thankful for that. 

They are what is keeping me fighting. 

Hi Invisible,

Welcome to AS.  I am very sorry for the trauma you've experienced at the hands of your father and uncle. What they did to you was wrong and unfair. I am glad you have a family that love you unconditionally. Healing is not easy, nor a straight line, but I am glad you have something you feel worth fighting for. It is very brave to reach out to others and I wish you the very best as you continue the journey of healing.

Mary

 

[Invisible1]

Thank you For the welcome, Mary. I have DID as a result of the abuse. Who wouldn’t right? My mind did what it needed to do to survive, created more of me to cope with the men. Is there a poetry forum?

[Kmkz]

Welcome to AS, I agree with MeBeMary, you are very brave. It takes courage to start therapy and to sign up and reach out here.

There is a creative forum where you could post your poetry, I've included the link below. I hope you find AS supportive and wish you all the best on your healing journey.

http://www.aftersilence.org/forum/index.php?/forum/3-healing-through-creativity/

 

[BraveOne]

Hi @Invisible1 and welcome to AS. Sorry for all those years of abuse. I'm glad you found us here on AS, its a safe place full of kind, caring and understanding people. 

To answer you question about how we keep going on: I think its differnt for everyone of us. Its different; because, we have all been through something, no two of us have the same trauma history and we all have differnt coping mechanisims that we've employed some work better then others. PTSD is hard and it seems like an over whelming monster at times, my T wont diagnose C-PTSD because to quote her its not in her DSM, but she says I have some comorbid disorders that if it was in the DSM it most definately would be called C-PTSD. Well my story is pretty differnt from your own I've grown to know there is a lot of streangth in me and thats what keeps me going keeps me fighting through even my worst days. Having the support system I do now (it was hard work making that a thing) has helped tremendously. Early in getting help after a long period of silence my T said its the small steps you take day by day that add up to huge growth. Two years ago her saying that I was ticked off I'm like I need help now like yesterday I dont have time for this small steps stuff, but it did work and the difference today is amazing. 

Anyways I am sorry for so much I did just intend to say hi and welcome. 

[Free2Fly]

On 07/11/2018 at 7:21 PM, Invisible1 said:

Hello I would like to introduce myself. I recently started therapy for past abuse by my father and uncle. I am a survivor of child prostitution, or whatever it is called. Trafficking. I was sold and used and trained by my father and uncle from a young age. 

My question to you all is, how do you keep going? I am being flooded with memories, I have complex PTSD. 

Im not sure it’s worth fighting through most days. 

Theyre both dead now, so can’t hurt me now, which is cool. 

I have a husband and children who love me unconditionally. I’m so thankful for that. 

They are what is keeping me fighting. 

Welcome to as @Invisible1,

im sorry you went through that.