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I’m dying inside


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About a month ago, I was sexually assaulted (it was oral sex, so it’s legally classified as a rape) by my boyfriend at the time. It was the most horrific thing I’ve ever had to go through, and I still remember every little detail. It’s driving me insane. Lately, I’ve been suicidal, I just want this pain to end. I’ve been told by friends and family to “just get over it”. But I can’t. I’m so weak and pathetic and disgusting. I feel so alone.

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I know how terrible that can feel and it isnt something you just "get over" so im sorry that they treated you that way. But you are NOT alone. And you are NOT weak or pathetic or disgusting. I totally understand feeling that way though. As for the suicidal comment, you should contact a hotline or a doctor. Someone that can professionally help you. But again, you are not alone. Everyone in this forum is here to support you.

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Hi Nails,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma you endured by your ex, but you have found a very supportive site. Our members are understanding and kind. Sometimes...too many times, others just do not get it. I always hope the reason is ignorance, but it is still very difficult to hear. We never chose not to get over it, in fact how much would we love to be able to, just like that. You are not weak, pathetic, or disgusting (he is). You are actually feeling and processing in a very normal way, for un-normal circumstances. I am very glad you have found us, it shows me that you are a fighter. You looked for an alternative way to help process. We aren't perfect here and we are not professionals, but we are a group of people, not unlike yourself, that will support you, encourage you and acknowledge what you have been thru. You are not alone. I wish you nothing but more positive steps forward as you find your way down this path of healing.

Mary

:notalone: 

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