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Aerlyn

Silent No More

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Hello,

I am new to this site.  I am a survivor of a life time physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse and Rape. I had told no one until spring of 2018. I did not ever think I would survive this long.  I come from Small town America. Where I grew up in a time that you did not speak of what went on inside the family. Where you don't talk about abuse of any kind.  I locked everything in a box in my head where I did not go and allowed no one in. I tried to tell a family member for the first time. It did not go well. I have been isolated from my family by the person I told.  I have not been able to find counseling in my town where its cash and carry. Then I found this forum. I hope to find the courage to tell the whole story for the first time. I hope for healing and the ability to forgive those who hurt me and forgive myself for allowing it. And for allowing my trauma to hurt those I love most in this world.  Thank You for giving me this place to tell what no one wants to hear.

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Hello Aerlyn,

 

Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry that you had to live through that and carry it for so long. It shows a tremendous amount of courage that you are reaching out and speaking your truth.  

I'm pretty new here too. I've found that the people here are always ready to rally around anyone who needs help. I am happy you are speaking here, and I hope aftersilence gives you the support, encouragement, and community you need. I think sharing your story will help others do the same. Bravery begets bravery, and courage breeds courage. 

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Welcome, @Aerlyn.  I'm sorry you have needed to survive so many forms of abuse for that long, and I'm glad you did survive and are reaching out to a place where you will find support.  You are brave to know what happened, and brave to speak about it.  I know the feeling of wanting to "tell what no one wants to hear."  I hope you will find the connection and healing that you are looking for.  People here will listen.

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Hello Aerlyn,

 

Thank you for being so brave and sharing with us! I am new here too and have been waiting years to talk about what I've been through. The World needs more people to speak the truth about how mean people can be behind closed doors. We are all here to support one another and hopefully one day our voices will change the way the world views sexual abuse! I cannot wait to hear more! Stay strong!

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3 hours ago, Aerlyn said:

Hello,

I am new to this site.  I am a survivor of a life time physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse and Rape. I had told no one until spring of 2018. I did not ever think I would survive this long.  I come from Small town America. Where I grew up in a time that you did not speak of what went on inside the family. Where you don't talk about abuse of any kind.  I locked everything in a box in my head where I did not go and allowed no one in. I tried to tell a family member for the first time. It did not go well. I have been isolated from my family by the person I told.  I have not been able to find counseling in my town where its cash and carry. Then I found this forum. I hope to find the courage to tell the whole story for the first time. I hope for healing and the ability to forgive those who hurt me and forgive myself for allowing it. And for allowing my trauma to hurt those I love most in this world.  Thank You for giving me this place to tell what no one wants to hear.

HI @Aerlyn, and welcome to AS! I am so sorry for the years of abuse and trauma you have endured. AS is a great place to start the healing process and your not alone here many of us have either waited to talk about the abuse, pushed it down and hid it away for years or couldnt talk about it at all with family or community. AS is a very supportive, kind and caring place filled with people from all manner of differnt backgrounds and trauma and abuse we come here to support care for and lift up others and get our needs met too, its a very safe place. Your free to share as little or as much as fast or slow as you want too. I am looking forward to seeing you around the forums.

BraveOne

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I started having flash backs about 10 years ago but blocked them out and told no one. but April 26,2018 was the day the movie of my life turned on in my head.  I had gone to my little sisters to help her as requested by my father. It all came back when my sister started drinking and came unglued and I lost it. Called my husband and got in my car and left in the middle of the night to make  the 800 mile trip home. My son got on the phone and talked me through getting on the freeway and headed home. I made it 2 hours and to a hotel. that is where I stayed trying to decide if it was worth living. I am alive. I made it home. And now I need to heal the best I can. My trauma has done harm to my Husband and my children. Until now I just did not know how much. Its time to tell my truth. The abusers be damned!

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On 10/18/2018 at 7:23 PM, Aerlyn said:

Hello,

I am new to this site.  I am a survivor of a life time physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse and Rape. I had told no one until spring of 2018. I did not ever think I would survive this long.  I come from Small town America. Where I grew up in a time that you did not speak of what went on inside the family. Where you don't talk about abuse of any kind.  I locked everything in a box in my head where I did not go and allowed no one in. I tried to tell a family member for the first time. It did not go well. I have been isolated from my family by the person I told.  I have not been able to find counseling in my town where its cash and carry. Then I found this forum. I hope to find the courage to tell the whole story for the first time. I hope for healing and the ability to forgive those who hurt me and forgive myself for allowing it. And for allowing my trauma to hurt those I love most in this world.  Thank You for giving me this place to tell what no one wants to hear.

Hi Aerlyn,

Welcome to AS. I am sorry for all the trauma you have endured, but you have found a very supportive site. I think many of us can relate to locking the experience in a box. Sorry that finally finding your voice did not go well. You are validated here. There is no judgement or pressure. Take your time and we are here for you.

Mary

:notalone:

 

On 10/18/2018 at 11:07 PM, Aerlyn said:

I started having flash backs about 10 years ago but blocked them out and told no one. but April 26,2018 was the day the movie of my life turned on in my head.  I had gone to my little sisters to help her as requested by my father. It all came back when my sister started drinking and came unglued and I lost it. Called my husband and got in my car and left in the middle of the night to make  the 800 mile trip home. My son got on the phone and talked me through getting on the freeway and headed home. I made it 2 hours and to a hotel. that is where I stayed trying to decide if it was worth living. I am alive. I made it home. And now I need to heal the best I can. My trauma has done harm to my Husband and my children. Until now I just did not know how much. Its time to tell my truth. The abusers be damned!

I am glad you made the courageous choice to fight on. Tho it may effect the people you love, it is nice to know they are there for you. We are here for you too.

 

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