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Hi, this is my first time using a blog, I find it difficult to talk about my past to actual people face to face, I’m not ashamed but still feel a little scared to talk with people, a few close friends know but it’s hard to talk to them about it as they don’t understand and normally get upset, anyhow thought I’d give this a try to see if it helps without causing upset I’m a survivor of childhood abuse then went into my teens 

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Hi Donna, 

Welcome to AfterSilence!!!  I'm so sorry to hear of the circumstances causing you to seek online support but as far as supportive communities go, this is by far the best one.  Hands down.  The people here are kind, understanding and just plain wonderful; I couldn't ask for a single thing more.  I hope that being here brings you peace and comfort.

Also, I'm not sure if you realize - but this right here is 'posting' on one of the many available boards/topics/categories.  If you want to blog, that's an entirely different area, but you can start one if you look under the 'browse' tab - click on 'blogs' and you can create one there. :)  I have a blog as well, it's very helpful when it comes to getting my thoughts out...it's healing for me to be able to do that and it does help somewhat to know that others are reading it and it's possibly clarifying things for them, too.  

Anyway, didn't mean to ramble.  Again, I welcome you - looking forward to getting to know you some more.

Best wishes,

Capulet

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Hi Donna welcome to AS,  I am also a survivor of child abuse. You mentioned about blogging,  the one thing to remember is blogging is not private anyone can read what you wrote, they don't have to join AS. You may want to remember  that, the welcome forum is not a protected forum but the other ones are. As @Capulet said you can blog whatever  you want. Some of us don't blog, we just read the forums. Take your time looking over the site. I am happy you found us.

Patricia 

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9 hours ago, Donna84 said:

Hi, this is my first time using a blog, I find it difficult to talk about my past to actual people face to face, I’m not ashamed but still feel a little scared to talk with people, a few close friends know but it’s hard to talk to them about it as they don’t understand and normally get upset, anyhow thought I’d give this a try to see if it helps without causing upset I’m a survivor of childhood abuse then went into my teens 

Hi Donna,

Welcome to AS. I am sorry for the trauma you endured, but you will find tons of support here at AS. I am glad you are not ashamed of what happened, but do understand the awkwardness that can come from discussing it with others, especially if they have not been in your shoes. That is what is great about the site. You will be understood, feel no pressure or judgment on what you decide to share. Take your time and look around. I wish you the best on this journey of healing.

Mary

:notalone: 

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Hi Mary, 

thank you for responding, Iv been reading some post and it’s helped already, it’s sad to see so many have endured this but it’s comforting that they understand as messed up as that sounds 😕 this is big scary step for me, I would like advice on how to tell my partner, Iv had a bad couple weeks with memories and triggers and it’s effected our relationship but he doesn’t know why and I’m scared we will become distant and that it will end, my past relationships have been  awful and abusive but when I spoke with councillor they said it was normal to go onto relationships like that, but he isn’t like that and it’s the first time Iv been happy and treated right and now I risk it all. I’m also struggling with blame, Iv been blaming myself a lot, for letting it go on so long and not reporting it sooner. 

I obviously don’t expect you or anyone to have all the answers just helpful being able to ask such questions without fear or judgement 

donna

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Thank you all for making me feel welcome. I know how hard it is and really appreciate the response. 

Donna

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Hi @Donna84,

Welcome to AS, although I'm sorry about the trauma that brought you here.  As others have said, it's a supportive place.

5 hours ago, Donna84 said:

I would like advice on how to tell my partner, Iv had a bad couple weeks with memories and triggers and it’s effected our relationship but he doesn’t know why and I’m scared we will become distant and that it will end, my past relationships have been  awful and abusive but when I spoke with councillor they said it was normal to go onto relationships like that, but he isn’t like that and it’s the first time Iv been happy and treated right and now I risk it all. I’m also struggling with blame, Iv been blaming myself a lot, for letting it go on so long and not reporting it sooner. 

This is a big question, and I can understand why it's so difficult to express this to your partner if this is the first time you've been in a healthy relationship. I want to remind you that what happened to you was not your fault, you were not to blame, and 'reporting' is an incredibly difficult thing to do at any age, and does not necessarily make things better. We do what we do to survive, our brains try to protect us. 

I would suggest that you post this question again in the Gathering Place section, I think you will get more replies, as it's a private part of the forum (this welcome forum isn't private fyi)  and I'm sure many members would have some ideas or thoughts about this question.    If it's any reassurance, when I told my partner, now my hb, he was supportive, and he still supports my healing. It didn't change how he thinks of me but it helped him to understand why I am the way I am.  I wish you the best as you grapple with this!

 

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Thank you I’ll will try that and see what advice I can gain to help with this, I didn’t realise this wasn’t private. Thank you for your response I really do appreciate it and your advice has helped me loads 

donna

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Hi @Donna84 welcome to AS. I'm sorry to hear about the trauma that happened to you as a child and into your teen years. I'm glad you have stumbled across our little sanctuary here on the internet. Hope you find this a warm and inviting place to share whatever you need to share, to know your heard and surrounded by other survivors. AS has been helpful for me to get over talking about my trauma to people face to face its been really a hard to concur fear and I wont lie I still struggle with it. This is a safe place to share whatever you need to as much or as little as your willing too. Hope you find everyone to be helpful and comforting. If like to say thank you for being brave enough not only to join AS but to put up your first post too.

One

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