Newbie

[Jaccod77]

I am new to this site and I don't know exactly how it works yet, but I'm hoping to find some healing and closer knowing their are others like me that this has happened too. Three weeks ago tommorow is when I was raped by the man I thought I was in a committed relationship with. We had been dating for about ten months and I started getting really shady feelings and so I decided to look in too it, I found out that he was still technically married when he told me he was separated and divorced. The night we had plans to meet up and me give him his things back he could tell something was wrong with me and we broke out into a fight and he forced himself upon me. Ever since then I haven't been myself I've been depressed withdrawing from crowds/family feeling lost/hopeless and not being my normal self and I don't know how to cope, I never thought I'd be in a situation like this. 

[silentg]

Hi @Jaccod77,

Welcome to AS, although I'm very sorry about the trauma that has brought you here.  The feelings you describe are very difficult,  and unfortunately these kind of feelings tend to follow in the aftermath of a sexual assault, and many here will understand what it's like.   I hope you will give yourself time to get through all the feelings that this horrible act can leave you with and ask for support when you need it.  You will find this a supportive place to talk about what you are going through and give voice to all those feelings without being judged or told to 'get over it'.  I hope that you will also seek out support in real life and maybe think about talking to a counsellor if you haven't already. Healing does happen and you will get through this. We are here for you. 

[Jaccod77]

Thank you @silentg for being so supportive and not judging, I started getting help by seeing a counselor in my hometown, but I can only see her so often, so I have these pent up feelings and emotions until then, but now that I found this place I'm hoping it will help as I can post and talk to people that had been in the same situation I have been in and be judgement free. 

[silentg]

6 minutes ago, Jaccod77 said:

Thank you @silentg for being so supportive and not judging, I started getting help by seeing a counselor in my hometown, but I can only see her so often, so I have these pent up feelings and emotions until then, but now that I found this place I'm hoping it will help as I can post and talk to people that had been in the same situation I have been in and be judgement free. 

You're welcome! this is definitely a good place to vent those pent up feelings and emotions between counseling sessions.  It's helped me for sure.

[BraveOne]

@Jaccod77 welcome to AS. I am so sorry to hear about the trauma that brought you here and wish we could have met under better circumstances. I am struggling to reach back to when it was that fresh for me, I know I definately withdrew from life barely spoke to anyone and was majorly depressed. I'd like to say it took a lot of courage to Join this group to seek support its very brave of you, others can see your streangth. Please know you are not alone as @silentg said your feelings are pretty common for survivors of this kind of thing. Please do use the forums to talk about your feelings and vent them its a great place for it. I am glad to see you are getting help from a therapist already getting help as soon as possible is very important sorry you dont get to see your counselor very often. 

Something to keep in mind here is that you are in control of what you share you can say as little or as much as you want do so at your own pace. This site if full of supportive caring people. Welcome again and looking forward to seeing you around the site.

One

Edited May 29, 2018 by BraveOne

[pattyr]

Welcome @Jaccod77 to this supportive place. I'm so sorry you were treated that way by someone you had trusted. I can see how that would leave you shaken and not yourself. What happened to you is in no way your responsibility. It must have been a shock.

 I hope you find this website helpful. I certainly have. 

[Jaccod77]

@BraveOne and @pattyr thank you both for making me feel very welcome and safe and letting me know my feelings are valid and are normal I think that is one of the things I am struggling with most too. Again thank you. 

[MeBeMary]

2 hours ago, Jaccod77 said:

I am new to this site and I don't know exactly how it works yet, but I'm hoping to find some healing and closer knowing their are others like me that this has happened too. Three weeks ago tommorow is when I was raped by the man I thought I was in a committed relationship with. We had been dating for about ten months and I started getting really shady feelings and so I decided to look in too it, I found out that he was still technically married when he told me he was separated and divorced. The night we had plans to meet up and me give him his things back he could tell something was wrong with me and we broke out into a fight and he forced himself upon me. Ever since then I haven't been myself I've been depressed withdrawing from crowds/family feeling lost/hopeless and not being my normal self and I don't know how to cope, I never thought I'd be in a situation like this. 

Hi Jaccod,

Welcome to AS.  I am very sorry for the trauma that you have experienced at the hands of your ex. He had no right and is a liar and manipulator. I'm sorry he hurt you and the pain is still so fresh and new. It's understandable that you don't feel yourself, being violated does change a person in ways that are hard to understand...both by others and ourselves. Reaching out is such a huge step, tho, so give yourself credit here. It's not easy, but do know you will find tons of support here at AS. I do wish you nothing but the best as you begin your healing journey.

Mary

 

[Jaccod77]

Thank you @MeBeMary I truly needed those kind words and encouragement, I hope to find lots of support and healing as I open up and talk to people on here such as yourself. I hope you are doing well in your healing process too and best wishes for you as well. 

[Struggling88]

Hi, Jaccod77, and welcome!