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Hello I’m a single mum. I’m a work in progress. I don’t know what to put here I’m still finding it hard to process the events of the last 2 years. My friends are so kind but say things like ‘Why can’t you see how far you have come?’ And ‘why didn’t you leave sooner?’ And some ‘it cannot be true or the police would have arrested him’ I’ve lost my job, my dignity, my sense of self, my financial security, my children’s sense of safety (tho mine greater) my church, my close friends, my extended in law family. It’s been like multiple bereavements. I have big holes in my memory and what I can only call sudden emotional flooding but no idea why or from what. But I gained my freedom and tho it looks wobbly a future. And people on the edge of my life have reached out to support me in unexpected ways.

I’m here because I’m hopeful. Like this is a wound but it’s not going to define me. I think each person here is v special. I’m glad to find you. I’m not getting any counselling. But I’m reaching out when I need to. I was dating but I realised I was doing it to mask noise and that it put me at risk so  it’s just me now. 

 

 

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Hi @DakotaSun and welcome to After Silence! I'm glad you found this forum. I hope that it will be as helpful to you as it's been to me. I'm also a single mother. It's a lot to bear when you're trying to keep everything 'normal' for the kids. I'm sorry about the responses you've received when trying to get support. Most people don't seem to understand what domestic violence is really like. I am glad to hear that you have gained freedom and that you haven't lost hope. You're doing yourself a huge favour by reaching out and this is a place where you'll find no judgement. Wishing you all the best on your path to healing. :notalone: :supportu:

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Hi @DakotaSun and welcome to AS.

Sorry about what sounds like a long term abuse & trauma situation. You are worth so much more then that. I wanted to tell you that your not alone. AS is a site full of supportive caring people that have all be through something, and can relate on some level with you. Geting therapy or counseling is a very personal choice and is not right for everyone and its different from person to person. For me I was ok for a decade before I needed help, it wasn't an easy choice for me.

I wanted to tell you how brave you are, you have lost much but your still seeking support and still have hope, you still have dignity even if it feels as though whomever it was tried to take it from you all they succeeded at was taking their own dignity it was their fault not yours. You are brave for joining our community. You are demonstrating strength by making your first post here. I just wanted to tell you those things. I also think your incredibly brave for being a single mom that takes so much Streangth and courage. That declaration to not let this wound define you is so strong. 

I'm sorry you have holes in your memory regarding these memories, that's something that seems to be quite common amongst survivors, including myself. 

I hope the freedom to express yourself on your terms here will be helpful to you while you recover. I mean that your free to share however much you want about whatever you want to share on your time you dont have to rush. 

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Hi @DakotaSun,

welcome to AS, although I’m sorry about the trauma that brought you here, and all the losses it has caused. I wish your friends were more supportive. You will find a lot of validation here because we get it, we know it’s not your fault and you deserve to take the time you need to process all that’s happened.

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Hi Dakota,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for what you experienced the last two years, but you have found a very supportive site. I'm sorry some have a tough time understanding, unfortunately that happens too often. Sometimes people who have not experienced what we have do not have a clue what we really go thru. This is what I like about AS. Everyone here, in one way or another, understands and supports one another. I am glad you found us. I do wish you the best on this journey of healing.

Mary

:notalone: 

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Welcome to AS @DakotaSun, everyone here is friendly, supportive, understanding and non judgemental. I hope you find it helpful when you reach out. 

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You’re all AMAZING! What an incredible welcome thank you from the bottom of my heart truly 😊

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On 12/04/2018 at 9:44 PM, Struggling88 said:

Hi, DakotaSun, and welcome! :wave:

Hello 👋🏽 

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