Gratitude

[Alphabet Soup]

I am a survivor.  It's been a long time since I considered myself one.  I was in a child sexual abuse case where I was vindicated over 30 years ago.  I did a lot of emotional work then...groups, individual, I appeared on the local news for a few weeks on a special for CSA survivors.  I went back to school became a therapist and for the last few decades worked in the field of healing.  I thought I had done all the healing I could do...It happened 43 years ago...

Then a news flash...press releases...

My perpetrator's son's face and name...114 years for the brutal assault and rape of a cold case in my neighborhood.  

I haven't been the same since. i'm paralyzed. I'm in shock..I'm in it again.  30 years of being away from the nightmares are back.  My perpetrator died in prison 20 years ago.

But, I've been activated.  

I'm grateful that today sites like these are available for us. Resources were limited on my first go round.

Here goes round two.

Alphabet Soup 

 

[MeBeMary]

Hi Alphabet Soup,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma you endured as a child and now for the triggered struggles of today. It's amazing at what can trigger and it is horrible the son carried on his father's legacy. I'm sorry old wounds have been reopened. I do admire that you originally took this horrible abuse and turned your life into becoming a healer for others. But it is ok to reach out for further healing for yourself, and I hope you can find you can do some of it here. Our members are kind and understanding and support is not so far away. I wish you the best as you revisit your path of healing.

Mary

 

[silentg]

Hi @Alphabet Soup,

Welcome to AS! Although I'm sorry for what brings you here, and that all those old wounds have reopened.  You have found a supportive, nonjudgmental community here and maybe its your turn to receive some support after all the work you've done helping others to heal

It is shocking to learn that what we thought was 'dealt with' can return on us; I had a similar experience with news media reopening memories, and my trauma also happened 30 years ago - before the internet.  I agree that sites like this would have been wonderful all those years ago. But, as they say, we are here now, and you have a listening ear and our support.

I wish you the best in your healing.

 

[Angel4100]

19 hours ago, Alphabet Soup said:

I am a survivor.  It's been a long time since I considered myself one.  I was in a child sexual abuse case where I was vindicated over 30 years ago.  I did a lot of emotional work then...groups, individual, I appeared on the local news for a few weeks on a special for CSA survivors.  I went back to school became a therapist and for the last few decades worked in the field of healing.  I thought I had done all the healing I could do...It happened 43 years ago...

Then a news flash...press releases...

My perpetrator's son's face and name...114 years for the brutal assault and rape of a cold case in my neighborhood.  

I haven't been the same since. i'm paralyzed. I'm in shock..I'm in it again.  30 years of being away from the nightmares are back.  My perpetrator died in prison 20 years ago.

But, I've been activated.  

I'm grateful that today sites like these are available for us. Resources were limited on my first go round.

Here goes round two.

Alphabet Soup 

 

I am glad you found us. I am here for you safe hugs if ok

[Alphabet Soup]

Thanks everyone for your responses.  I spoke to a woman who was in my group 30 years ago this weekend, as a result of the reopening of my story.  I so appreciate how once we connect on this issue...we are connected for life.  Does not matter how much time has passed.

Alphabet Soup

[patriciag]

Hi AS welcome to AS. I am sorry that things have come back up again. It's hard when we think we have dealt with things and they come back. I was also CSA by my father as a child, he spent 18 years in prison. You are right that it's nice that we can find support on the internet, in my days there was no support, people didn't even talk about it.

Patricia

[BraveOne]

Hi @Alphabet Soup and welcome to AS.

Glad you found us, even if its under these circumstances. Greatful to hear there is healing even if you can be retriggered later on. Sorry that you are in distress over seeing your perpetrators son's face that had to be quite the shock. 

AS has been a great place for a healing journey for so many people, I for one am super greatful for it. No one forces you to share your free to share what you want how much you want and when you want, so your in control of whatever you share. Take some time to look around and get comfortable and secure here. I am looking forward to seeing you around the forums. 

One

[tuliptorn]

Hi Alphabetsoup.

I'm sorry all those feelings are back. Glad you are here. 

[Alphabet Soup]

Thanks guys,

i already feel less alone.

alohabet soup

[Struggling88]

Hi, Alphabet Soup, and welcome!  

[Painnbroken]

Welcome to AS!  You’ve found a supportive site and you are not alone here