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Hi, I'm not sure how to start here... I was sexually abused as a child and kept silent for many years.  I did eventually tell my mom, but still didn't talk about it much.  Basically I just tried to forget and move on with life.  But I couldn't forget.  I've been going to counseling for over a year now and am trying to be more open to others about my past.  For so long I struggled (still do) with guilt and shame, even though I know it was in no way my fault. I'm hoping that by joining this group that I will find my voice even if it is just through writing. 

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1 minute ago, Tigerswallotail said:

Hi, I'm not sure how to start here... I was sexually abused as a child and kept silent for many years.  I did eventually tell my mom, but still didn't talk about it much.  Basically I just tried to forget and move on with life.  But I couldn't forget.  I've been going to counseling for over a year now and am trying to be more open to others about my past.  For so long I struggled (still do) with guilt and shame, even though I know it was in no way my fault. I'm hoping that by joining this group that I will find my voice even if it is just through writing. 

Welcome to AS. I am so sorry for the trauma you've experienced.  You will find that everyone here is friendly, supportive and there is no judgement at all. Your not alone here and many can relate.  Take your time to look around and best wishes on your healing journey. 

PB

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Hi tiger,

Sorry for what happened to you 😔. I was assaulted as a child too and tried to forget. Now I'm an adult and finally dealing with it. Writing on here and in my journal had helped me a lot. I have dropped the guilt, and am starting to work through some of the shame :) welcome to AS! 

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Hi Tigers,

Welcome to AS. I am so sorry for the trauma you experienced as a child, but you will find tons of support here. It takes courage to tell anyone, I am sorry that you and your mom don't really talk about it. Sometimes I think people do not know how to react or feel uncomfortable speaking of it. I think many of us try to forget about it, but the struggles refuse to leave us. Reaching out is a huge thing, to a T or to a community like ours. I am glad you understand it is in no way your fault, but understand the feeling of shame. It's a shame wrongly given to us by the abuser, but is hard to shake. We welcome your voice here and I wish you many forward steps on this path of healing.

Mary

:notalone: 

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Thank you MeBeMary.  I am glad to be able to say that since seeing my T, my mom & I have had many conversations where I've really been able to open up to her.  It hasn't been easy for her as she struggles with feeling like she should have picked up on what was happening, but she honestly had know idea what was going on in her own home.  I don't blame her at all.  My abuser was an older foster brother.  My dad was unknowing involved in some of what happened.  Again, he didn't know and he died about a year later.  One of my deepest pains and regret is the fact that I never told my dad what happened and now it is too late.  It is so hard to find closure in regards to how he handled some things.

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Welcome to AS @Tigerswallotail, hoping you find your voice, everyone on AS is understanding and supportive. I wish you all the best on your healing journey.

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Hello @Tigerswallowtail and welcome to AS! I am sorry for what you have been through, I'm glad you have a T,  and now you have us. I found being here helps a lot with letting go of shame because everyone here understands. you did nothing wrong, you were an innocent child. I'm glad you and your mom have been able to have a few conversations, I know how difficult that can be. wishing you peace and healing.:notalone:

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I should have included in my first post why I chose the name Tigerswallowtail. My T recently told me that it's like I'm in a chrysalis that I am about ready to emerge a new girl with all the changes that I've been making.  I love butterflies and the Tiger Swallowtail is one of my favorites. The thought that I'm in the process of turning all the ugly in my life into something beautiful gives me hope.  I will have to say that the metamorphosis is rather painful at times, but I'm determined to not give up and to hang in there.

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On 10/24/2017 at 7:25 PM, Tigerswallowtail said:

Hi, I'm not sure how to start here... I was sexually abused as a child and kept silent for many years.  I did eventually tell my mom, but still didn't talk about it much.  Basically I just tried to forget and move on with life.  But I couldn't forget.  I've been going to counseling for over a year now and am trying to be more open to others about my past.  For so long I struggled (still do) with guilt and shame, even though I know it was in no way my fault. I'm hoping that by joining this group that I will find my voice even if it is just through writing. 

Welcome to AS, I'm sorry for your trauma. Many of us here kept silent and or still do to some degree. This group helped me find that I could be open and talk about my traumas and has helped with the recovery process and I am sure it will help for you as well. Be gentle with yourself your doing the best you can.

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Thank you @Sandpiper & @Oneinamillion  for the welcome!  Also glad to know you like my username & why I chose it, Sandpiper. :) I always struggle when I have to come up with a username for something, so was glad when I was able to come up with this one.:butterfly:

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HI there. 
Welcome to AS. 
Very nice to meet you. 
I pray you find what you need and make fab friends. 
My name is ~FOUND~

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