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Hey everyone, 

    I was unfortuantely a victim of R when I was 20, I am currently 28. I never reported, just kinda pushed my feelings down and eventually moved far away. Clearly not my best decision but suppression seemed like a great idea at the time. I recently moved back to the state where it occurred and my feelings have been all over the place as of late. My anxiety has skyrocketed when venturing out in the world being closer to where it all happened.  So I decided to finally face this and talk about it, leading me here. I don't know really what to do or what I expect from this but I think maybe getting it off my chest may help. Any advice? 

-L

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1 hour ago, Lucille said:

Hey everyone, 

    I was unfortuantely a victim of R when I was 20, I am currently 28. I never reported, just kinda pushed my feelings down and eventually moved far away. Clearly not my best decision but suppression seemed like a great idea at the time. I recently moved back to the state where it occurred and my feelings have been all over the place as of late. My anxiety has skyrocketed when venturing out in the world being closer to where it all happened.  So I decided to finally face this and talk about it, leading me here. I don't know really what to do or what I expect from this but I think maybe getting it off my chest may help. Any advice? 

-L


Welcome to AS. I am so sorry for the trauma you've experienced. You will find a lot of people do that.  I'm sorry that your feelings have been all over the place and your anxiety has skyrocketed.  Glad you have found your way here.  You will find that everyone here is friendly, supportive and there is no judgement at all. Your not alone here and many can relate.  Take your time to look around and best wishes on your healing journey.  

PB

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Hi Lucille,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma you experienced 8 years ago. I think many of us try to suppress what we went thru, I know that I did, but it doesn't work to well, does it? For me, it was like a band-aid on a serious wound. It is too temporary. I can understand how a move back to the place can be a serious trigger for you. It's not easy facing the trauma, but it is a step towards healing.  The best advice is, as PB mentioned, is to look around. You will become familiar and more comfortable with time. When you are ready, you can respond to others or post issues or struggles you need support with. You will find tons of support with our understanding members. I wish you the best on this healing journey.

Mary

:youcanheal: 

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6 hours ago, Lucille said:

Hey everyone, 

    I was unfortuantely a victim of R when I was 20, I am currently 28. I never reported, just kinda pushed my feelings down and eventually moved far away. Clearly not my best decision but suppression seemed like a great idea at the time. I recently moved back to the state where it occurred and my feelings have been all over the place as of late. My anxiety has skyrocketed when venturing out in the world being closer to where it all happened.  So I decided to finally face this and talk about it, leading me here. I don't know really what to do or what I expect from this but I think maybe getting it off my chest may help. Any advice? 

-L

Welcome to AS. I am so sorry to hear about the trauma that brought you here, and the silence that is so hard to break, I'm glad you did. I wish I could give you some help here as I sort of did simalar but when I ran I didn't stop, till I landed a home every day kind of job and every time I'm in a truck stop or around long haul drivers I struggle. I started therapy about a year ago to help with that I've seen some huge changes in my life with it. Have you tried that route yet? I know it was the hardest thing in the world for me to do was walk into that office, I still haven't verbalized what happened, but I have verbally admitted that I was R'd the second hardest thing I've ever done in my life. You can heal from this its just takes time, be gentle to yourself.

One

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Welcome @Lucille. I'm sorry you were assaulted 8 years ago. I can relate to pushing it away and trying to move on, only for it all to come rushing back at another time. When this happened, I reached out to a rape counselling center for women. It started to help me put words to what happened (other than the police report which I'd done when in shock) and begin to feel. One valuable thing I've learned in healing from this is to be patient with your progress. Sometimes it seems you're not getting anywhere, or it's getting worse, but then there are those precious times when you feel your own strength and have the confidence in yourself that you should have.

After Silence has been an incredibly supportive and validating place that feels safe to share what happened among people who "get it" and will never tell you to "get over it". 

:aswelcomesu::supportu:

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