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hi all,

I'm new to the forum and new to seeking support online. Besides my husband and my past therapists, no one knows what I have been through. I think that having all these buried secrets is perpetuating my feelings of guilt and shame and keeping me blocked up. I hope that sharing here will help take some of that away. 

j. 

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3 minutes ago, j.holiday said:

hi all,

I'm new to the forum and new to seeking support online. Besides my husband and my past therapists, no one knows what I have been through. I think that having all these buried secrets is perpetuating my feelings of guilt and shame and keeping me blocked up. I hope that sharing here will help take some of that away. 

j. 

Welcome again to you dear.  I already welcomed you in your other post you did.  I can relate to the feeling of guilt and shame. I great at shutting down, but I've gotten better not a 100% but better opening up.  Take your time and share what you would like to share.  There is no hurry and there is no pressure here.  Best wishes on your healing journey 

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6 hours ago, j.holiday said:

hi all,

I'm new to the forum and new to seeking support online. Besides my husband and my past therapists, no one knows what I have been through. I think that having all these buried secrets is perpetuating my feelings of guilt and shame and keeping me blocked up. I hope that sharing here will help take some of that away. 

j. 

Hi j.

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma you have endured, but you will find AS a very supportive site with many kind and understanding members. Before coming here, I held my secrets tightly too. It gave me courage to at least tell 2 close people to me, but it was still very hard. I think we learn to conceal these secrets because not only of the pain inflicted upon us, but the shame and guilt that was inflicted on us, too. It was inflicted on us, but truly are not ours to own. The monsters who hurt others are the only ones that deserve the shame and guilt, but they are so manipulative, they somehow convince us that we are to blame. It's not true, so we need to try and fight this notion, which I know isn't easy. Reaching out and having others who know these same struggles helps. I wish you well on this journey of healing.

Mary

:aswelcomesu:

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Hi @j.holiday and welcome to AS. Sorry you are struggling. Many people here can relate to not being able to disclose our trauma. Hope you will feel comfortable here to share when you're ready, there will be no judgement just caring and support and kindness. :aswelcomesu:

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On 2017-07-21 at 11:28 AM, j.holiday said:

hi all,

I'm new to the forum and new to seeking support online. Besides my husband and my past therapists, no one knows what I have been through. I think that having all these buried secrets is perpetuating my feelings of guilt and shame and keeping me blocked up. I hope that sharing here will help take some of that away. 

j. 

Hi j.holiday, welcome to AS.  I hope you find it helpful to share here. I read once that shame needs silence to grow, and once you start sharing and others say, 'yes, me too I can relate to feeling that way', the shame starts to lessen. It's been true for me and I hope it is also true for you.  It is hard to hold onto these secrets, and please remember you did nothing wrong and the shame belongs to those who hurt you. :notalone:

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