lena-bear

Hello all

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Hi, I finally found the courage to actually TALK about my past after ~15 years of not even admitting it to myself and refusing to talk about it.

My main goals are to find people like me who have been through similar things and get some useful coping methods. For years I used to think that if I never talked about my abuse, then it didn't happen/ I would be able to forget. However, what I noticed is that when I'm stressed about something non-abuse related (studying for tests, arguing with girlfriend, feeling left out by friends, etc), that I would have abuse-related nightmares and flashbacks, despite my abuse being so long ago. So I'm hoping that by finally talking about it, I can *move on* in a way. 

Edited by lena-bear

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Hi @lena-bear and welcome to AS. Very brave of you to have made this step, you've found a very supportive community here. I think most of us think that to not talk about what happened will make it go away and sometimes it does for a while but eventually you have to face up to it, but that's not an easy feat. So welcome and I hope you find the support and help you're looking for :) 

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2 hours ago, lena-bear said:

Hi, I finally found the courage to actually TALK about my past after ~15 years of not even admitting it to myself and refusing to talk about it.

My main goals are to find people like me who have been through similar things and get some useful coping methods. For years I used to think that if I never talked about my abuse, then it didn't happen/ I would be able to forget. However, what I noticed is that when I'm stressed about something non-abuse related (studying for tests, arguing with girlfriend, feeling left out by friends, etc), that I would have abuse-related nightmares and flashbacks, despite my abuse being so long ago. So I'm hoping that by finally talking about it, I can *move on* in a way. 

Hi lena-bear, and welcome to AS. I'm sorry that you have endured abuse and still struggle with flashbacks and nightmares. I  didn't talk about my abuse for a very long time either, and like you I realized it wasn't going away. It did help me to start talking about and dealing with the memories, and I found it helpful to find a supportive space here at AS - I hope you will find it helpful too. There many people here who will listen and understand.  It takes courage to take those first steps to face the things that happened, but you are not alone.  I wish you the best on your healing journey.

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:aswelcomesu: :youcanheal: :notalone: :bighug:

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3 hours ago, lena-bear said:

Hi, I finally found the courage to actually TALK about my past after ~15 years of not even admitting it to myself and refusing to talk about it.

My main goals are to find people like me who have been through similar things and get some useful coping methods. For years I used to think that if I never talked about my abuse, then it didn't happen/ I would be able to forget. However, what I noticed is that when I'm stressed about something non-abuse related (studying for tests, arguing with girlfriend, feeling left out by friends, etc), that I would have abuse-related nightmares and flashbacks, despite my abuse being so long ago. So I'm hoping that by finally talking about it, I can *move on* in a way. 

 

Welcome to AS!  I am truly sorry for the trauma you've experienced.  I'm sorry you've been struggling as well. You've found a great site here.  People here are friendly, helpful, supportive, kind and caring.  You will find that there is no judgement here. Best wishes on your healing journey! 

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Hi @lena-bear,

I'm sorry you have trauma that brought you here. Welcome to AS. Its great to finally find a way to voice what you've been holding in for years it has been important to me after being silent for 10 years to be here, lots of others can relate as well. There is healing it takes time but I have hope for everyone of us here.

One

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Hi @lena-bear I have recently joined and find this site to be very friendly and helpful, hope you do too, take care 🌟

 

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5 hours ago, lena-bear said:

Hi, I finally found the courage to actually TALK about my past after ~15 years of not even admitting it to myself and refusing to talk about it.

My main goals are to find people like me who have been through similar things and get some useful coping methods. For years I used to think that if I never talked about my abuse, then it didn't happen/ I would be able to forget. However, what I noticed is that when I'm stressed about something non-abuse related (studying for tests, arguing with girlfriend, feeling left out by friends, etc), that I would have abuse-related nightmares and flashbacks, despite my abuse being so long ago. So I'm hoping that by finally talking about it, I can *move on* in a way. 

Hi lena-bear,

Welcome to AS. I am sorry for what you went thru, but you will find much support here. The members really are kind and understanding. I was actually like you, and admitting it took many years. The first time I said the r word was right here on this site. Please no it is ok to talk about anything on this site, because many times our reactions to certain things can have be link to past traumas, no matter how long ago...also, sometimes we like to share lighter things, too, which can be a stress reliever. I do wish you the best as you begin this healing journey.

Mary

:youcanheal:

 

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welcome to AS yes your talking the first  step to healing but i found healing is a journey in a big way also by working on healing we can move  to new understanding who we really are too  so i so glad you here look forward to getting to know you too

love light and hope  stormie

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Welcome to AS @lena-bear, I believe you have come to the right place for what you're seeking. We are always sharing ways of coping in healthier ways, we support each other, we laugh together, we worry about each other. Take your time and look around the site. There are some really great positive topics on this site that have helped many members. Wishing you the best on your healing journey :) 

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Hi, Lena-bear, and welcome! :wave:

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hi lena  welcome to AS   you will get lots support here

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Welcome on AS, lena-bear. I'm sorry that your went through abuse in the past, but I'm glad you are now reaching out here on AS. There is a lot of support here, and lots of very nice people. I also took many years until I felt able to address what had happened to me. And I recently found out in therapy that certain really banal situations which shouldn't be all that upsetting in and of themselves bring up feelings from back then, and thus I relive the trauma again and again. So the smallest feeling of intrusion etc can bring me back to that time. It's good to know why I'm struggling with small things so much sometimes, and to be able to work on it. Anyway, sorry for this long story, I was just thinking that maybe what you are experiencing is similar? I hope that you find support here and in real life in dealing with this. I wish you all the best. 

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Hi. I'm sorry hun. I hope that you can be able to find healing in your life.

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