First Time Here - Very Nervous

[goldraindrops]

Hello Everyone,

I am extremely nervous to be posting here.  My trauma happened eight years ago and I have some "blurry" abuse memories from childhood.  I have only told a few of my closest friends about it and I feel like it would be helpful to know a few others who struggle with some of the issues I do.  I am a happy, religious, grateful person who loves my life, but I still carry pain from what happened and sometimes it comes to the surface.  I get severe migraines and once in awhile a nightmare that is so vivid it puts me back into the most horrible moments of my life.  

Does anyone know what it's like to feel an obligation to be "healed" and guilt when the pain arises again?   Sometimes I am caught off guard when the pain comes "bubbling up," because years have gone by.  I just try to do what I imagine we all try to do - pray and keep moving forward.  Sometimes, though, it would be nice to know there are friends out there who understand.

My best wishes to everyone here.

Edited May 17, 2017 by goldraindrops

[Bluesclues]

I'm sorry for the trauma that has brought you here, I hope you find more healing through AS and a load of empathy and sympathy. You found a good site. 

Safe hugs. 

[MeBeMary]

Hi goldraindrops,

Welcome to AS. I am sorry for the traumas that you have experienced, but you have found a very supportive site. You will find the members are understanding and kind.  Many of have the same issues with memory, if they are blurry or even complete or partial memory gaps, so know that this is not so uncommon. Sometimes even our closest family or friends don't truly understand, so it is good to find others who do.

The obligation to be healed...by others or ourselves is a big burden. It is our goal, but unfortunately healing does not have a timeline. We just need to be patient with ourselves and know that it is possible. Guilt is too common, as well. But we are all here to remind each other that the pain inflicted on us is never something we asked for or deserved. Be patient with yourself. I wish you the best on your healing journey.

Mary

[reglois]

    

[phoenixxx]

Welcome to AS! Sorry you have a reason to be here. Hope you find support and comfort here. 

[Struggling88]

Hi, Goldraindrops, and welcome!  

[goldraindrops]

14 hours ago, phoenixxx said:

Welcome to AS! Sorry you have a reason to be here. Hope you find support and comfort here. 

Thank you so much.  Everyone has been so kind.  I am also sorry you have a reason to be here.  

[rebeccam]

I completely understand what you're talking about with the obligation to be "healed." I'm struggling with the same thing. I joined this forum for the same reason you did, to talk to people who get it and have been through the same thing. I'm sorry about what happened to you, but you'll find lots of support here.