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A nervous hello


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Hi everyone,

I've been debating back and forth as to whether i should introduce myself on the site or whether i was just happy reading; however here i am diving in head first. It's taken about 6 months to come to terms with what happened to me; and to accept that my boyfriend could be the perpetrator. He was very manipulative and controlling in every aspect of my life and I'm all too good at boxing away feelings and not dealing with things until a much later date but i've learnt that doesn't really work. I eventually separated from him in January and told close friends the details of what happened to me about 6 weeks ago; not everyone has been supportive as the typical stigma of 'oh he's your boyfriend, that can't have happened' was all too frequent. I'm really hoping that the site will act as the support network to healing that i don't have in person.

So, hello! I'm Verdif, I'm 21. I'm currently living away from home studying for my masters, i love all things animals, reading, arty and yoga. I hope to talk to as many of you as possible and support you all too :)

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Hi and welcome to AS

You have come to a great place and I'm sorry you were traumatized by your boyfriend.We do believe you and were here to support you and validate you and let you know your not alone.Welcome to AS. take gentle care

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Welcome to AS, Verdif. I am sorry for what happened to you and that some of your friends are so unsupportive. It is so sad that people in this day and age still do not understand that partner SA is a thing and that it is actually far more common than stranger SA. I believe you - it happened to me too. Hope you find lots of support here. It is a lovely community.

What are you studying? I love reading, animals and yoga too :wink:.

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I verdif welcome to AS, I'm sorry for what your boyfriend did to you and others didn't believe it.  I believe you!!!!!  This is a safe place and we are here for you as you start your journey of healing.  :notalone:

Patricia

Edited by patriciag
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3 hours ago, Verdif said:

Hi everyone,

I've been debating back and forth as to whether i should introduce myself on the site or whether i was just happy reading; however here i am diving in head first. It's taken about 6 months to come to terms with what happened to me; and to accept that my boyfriend could be the perpetrator. He was very manipulative and controlling in every aspect of my life and I'm all too good at boxing away feelings and not dealing with things until a much later date but i've learnt that doesn't really work. I eventually separated from him in January and told close friends the details of what happened to me about 6 weeks ago; not everyone has been supportive as the typical stigma of 'oh he's your boyfriend, that can't have happened' was all too frequent. I'm really hoping that the site will act as the support network to healing that i don't have in person.

So, hello! I'm Verdif, I'm 21. I'm currently living away from home studying for my masters, i love all things animals, reading, arty and yoga. I hope to talk to as many of you as possible and support you all too :)

Hello !! Warmest Welcome... :)

 

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Thank you everyone, i feel very overwhelmed by the welcomes and support right now. I'm unusually emotional, I'm very grateful :sweat: 

@phoenixxx I'm studying for my MSc in clinical psychology, which has made this journey harder, as the people around me expect me to be this strong, unwavering pillar who would never be manipulated or r**** by my boyfriend. But in reality, i'm just like everyone else and have fallen apart since then. I really hope no one judges my MSc, i'm not here to look into or judge anyone. I think i just need some friendly faces around that understand, and thats why I'm here. 

It's very good to know there are fellow yoga and animal lovers out there in yourself phoenixxx and @Bluesclues!

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6 hours ago, Verdif said:

Hi everyone,

I've been debating back and forth as to whether i should introduce myself on the site or whether i was just happy reading; however here i am diving in head first. It's taken about 6 months to come to terms with what happened to me; and to accept that my boyfriend could be the perpetrator. He was very manipulative and controlling in every aspect of my life and I'm all too good at boxing away feelings and not dealing with things until a much later date but i've learnt that doesn't really work. I eventually separated from him in January and told close friends the details of what happened to me about 6 weeks ago; not everyone has been supportive as the typical stigma of 'oh he's your boyfriend, that can't have happened' was all too frequent. I'm really hoping that the site will act as the support network to healing that i don't have in person.

So, hello! I'm Verdif, I'm 21. I'm currently living away from home studying for my masters, i love all things animals, reading, arty and yoga. I hope to talk to as many of you as possible and support you all too :)

Hi Verdif,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for what your ex put you thru. It was wrong and HE was wrong. Unfortunately some people truly don't understand. They should be saying that can't happen, but shouldn't happen, and it shouldn't. You do not forgo consent because you are in a relationship. Being in a relationship means he should respect that even more. I'm sorry this happened to you and wish that others could understand. We do. You are supported here and you are believed. I do wish you the best as you begin your healing journey.

Mary

:youcanheal: 

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9 hours ago, Verdif said:

Thank you everyone, i feel very overwhelmed by the welcomes and support right now. I'm unusually emotional, I'm very grateful :sweat: 

@phoenixxx I'm studying for my MSc in clinical psychology, which has made this journey harder, as the people around me expect me to be this strong, unwavering pillar who would never be manipulated or r**** by my boyfriend. But in reality, i'm just like everyone else and have fallen apart since then. I really hope no one judges my MSc, i'm not here to look into or judge anyone. I think i just need some friendly faces around that understand, and thats why I'm here. 

It's very good to know there are fellow yoga and animal lovers out there in yourself phoenixxx and @Bluesclues!

That is great! I imagine it's very interesting. But I can also see how it would make it difficult because people expect you to have the answers to your own problems, and it's just never that easy when it comes to ourselves, is it...Of course you are like everyone else. Trauma doesn't discriminate...I am a jurist (academic) - knowing the law well didn't help me see what was happening to me either. 

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@phoenixxx It is, my degree really is my life i love it so much. But, yes. People really do expect you to have all the answers and thats not helpful when you're hurting. I wish people had the same attitude as you as you're right, it doesn't discriminate. I'm sorry we're all in the same position of having to be here after trauma but i'm glad this site exists; it's proving to be an absolute blessing.

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