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Scarlet_rise

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My therapist thought since I've never talked about what happened to me before, an anonymous support group like this might be helpful. It's hard, but I'm trying to come to terms with myself and accept what happened.

I've read through a lot of posts and you guys are so amazing and supportive, but I'm kind of nervous to post because it feels like my experience are a lot milder than everyone else's, nothing near the kinds of things most of you have survived. I have so much respect for all of you, you inspire me to try and be braver.

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Your story no matter how mild it is compared to others is still important. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. When you are ready you will have many people here willing to help. 

I myself still feel a bit uncomfortable but this desire to overcome this makes helps me find courage. The more you talk about it the better you will feel.

Welcome! Remember your story matters. We will be here for you! :)

 

With love, 

Maria.

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@Scarlet_rise 

Welcome to AS.  I am sorry for what brought you here but I am glad you found us. :-). You have nothing to be nervous about.  It is entirely fine.  No one here will say your experience is "milder".  Every experience is valid.  When you are ready to tell your story, go for it.  One of the things about coming through this sort of thing is sometimes it is a fight.  Everyone here at some point learned to keep the secret about what happened.  Some learned to down play it.   Never think your experience is milder.  That's down playing it.  The jerk or people who hurt you don't deserve to have their actions downplayed.   As for being braver, you already are braver.  You are in the warrior class with the rest of us.  You survived something terrible.  Healing is possible.  You are already on the road to healing. Keep at it. 

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6 hours ago, Scarlet_rise said:

My therapist thought since I've never talked about what happened to me before, an anonymous support group like this might be helpful. It's hard, but I'm trying to come to terms with myself and accept what happened.

I've read through a lot of posts and you guys are so amazing and supportive, but I'm kind of nervous to post because it feels like my experience are a lot milder than everyone else's, nothing near the kinds of things most of you have survived. I have so much respect for all of you, you inspire me to try and be braver.

Hi Scarlet, welcome to AS. I am sorry for the trauma that brought you here. My T and often talk about things on this site it helps to open doors for us. There is no such thing here as someone abuse is worse than another. Abuse of any kind leads us all feeling the same pain and hurt. Don't ever think what happened to you isn't important, we are here to help each other and we will be here to help you.

Patricia

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Welcome Scarlet. I am sorry for what brought you here, but I am glad that your T suggested this. AS is a wonderful community full of supportive people. Please don't minimise your trauma - most of us feel like our experience wasn't 'that bad' in comparison to others. I often do. But in the end, we were all hurt and traumatised, and we are all here for a reason. To heal. Comparisons don't help us do that. You are not alone :)

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I joined a survivors group long ago. The things I learned are some of the most valued life lessons that I keep inside me. 

One of the most important to me is perspective. One discussion we had was about the levels of abuse each endured. We came to the conclusion that it didn't matter. To each of us it is the highest level of pain we have ever felt. It leaves internal scars. No matter what. Some women were so bullied in school that those scars hurt more to them that being raped. When your life is interfered with another life that overwhelmed you in a way that left you harmed, it hurts. Your pain is no greater or less than mine or anyone's. It is yours. It belongs to you. Only you understand the way it rips though you. For good reason, it is personal. Just as your space is personal and yours. It should not be invaded without your consent. 

We all hurt. I am sorry you feel your pain is smaller. I assure you, it is not. I hope you find your strength in your healing journey.

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Hi, Scarlet_rise, and welcome! :wave: The severity and/or longevity of the abuse is irrelevant. Like the previous posters have said, the abuse happened and it hurt you. You did not deserve that to happen to you. It was not your fault. :notalone: :supportu:

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20 hours ago, Scarlet_rise said:

My therapist thought since I've never talked about what happened to me before, an anonymous support group like this might be helpful. It's hard, but I'm trying to come to terms with myself and accept what happened.

I've read through a lot of posts and you guys are so amazing and supportive, but I'm kind of nervous to post because it feels like my experience are a lot milder than everyone else's, nothing near the kinds of things most of you have survived. I have so much respect for all of you, you inspire me to try and be braver.

Hi Scarlet,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma you suffered, as no trauma is an acceptable thing for one person to do to another. Struggles and pain from any experience is worth healing from, but I understand why you say this. These were my exact words 2 years ago when I came to AS. The most wonderful thing is that nobody here turned their back on me and they did not judge me, and they will not you. We are all in this healing thing together. We are all trying to overcome what has wrongfully happened to us and we all can help each other with support and encouragement. Take your time, your nervousness will subside, as it did with me. Reaching out is a huge step to take, one of many we take together.

Mary

:notalone:

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