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Heavenly

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Hi there, I was active on AS about 6 months ago but since then I was doing much better, I found a love for life again, I was adjusting to a new home and I was starting to feel safe in my own skin.

But lately everything has flipped around. My flashbacks and nightmares are coming back with intense frequency, I'm doing horribly in my classes, Friends I've trusted turned on me, and they boy I love (the first one who saw my past as a battle scar rather than a broken piece) left suddenly for no other reason that he just didn't feel a relationship was his thing. Also I just learned that my Alma mater just reinstated the leadership position of my rapist, though their own administration issued him a year's suspension after finding him guilty of assaulting me. All my efforts to reach out to them have been ignored. Between those issues and the result of this election I'm feeling very unloved, uncertain, and unimportant. 

I don't have any friends close enough to discuss this at my new school so I am reaching out to the community here for a voice of reassurance. 

I hope I can make a new start

❤ Heavenly

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Welcome back Heavenly ,

This is a lot to deal with. try to take one day at a time. in so much as you can. you don't have control of the situation with the school. or of other people . 

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Welcome back. That sounds like you are going through a tough time indeed. Cannot believe the alma mater would do that. Hope you find some support and comfort here. :hug:

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19 hours ago, Heavenly said:

Hi there, I was active on AS about 6 months ago but since then I was doing much better, I found a love for life again, I was adjusting to a new home and I was starting to feel safe in my own skin.

But lately everything has flipped around. My flashbacks and nightmares are coming back with intense frequency, I'm doing horribly in my classes, Friends I've trusted turned on me, and they boy I love (the first one who saw my past as a battle scar rather than a broken piece) left suddenly for no other reason that he just didn't feel a relationship was his thing. Also I just learned that my Alma mater just reinstated the leadership position of my rapist, though their own administration issued him a year's suspension after finding him guilty of assaulting me. All my efforts to reach out to them have been ignored. Between those issues and the result of this election I'm feeling very unloved, uncertain, and unimportant. 

I don't have any friends close enough to discuss this at my new school so I am reaching out to the community here for a voice of reassurance. 

I hope I can make a new start

❤ Heavenly

Hi Heavenly,

Welcome back. Very sorry that things went from good to bad. The unpredictability of the struggles we face mixed with the realities of life around us can be difficult. Tho I wish your good turn had stayed, I am glad you remembered the support  and kindness of the members here. We are always here for you. I do  hope that you are able to turn these bad times back to good again. I do wish you well as you continue this journey. If you have questions or concerns about the site, I and the Newbie Support Team are just a PM away.

:supportu:

Mary

Edited by MeBeMary

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Hi and welcome to AS! I hope you find our community informative/supportive. I wish you well on your healing journey.

:aswelcomesu: :notalone::youcanheal:

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I feel for you during this time! know that you are in a good place to reach out and get some perspective. I had somewhat of a similar situation; Are you seeking therapy? If not you might want to consider some therapeutic counseling through all this. Sometimes your symptoms can feel like it has control over you but YOU DO have the control. It might just take time to develop and remind yourself of your inner strengths. In my situation my ex had physically/verbally abused me repeatedly and she bullied and threatened me at work. She was one of the reporting leaders in my old job; I did feel helpless. It was through therapy, some helpful advice I received at my domestic violence community center that helped me be proactive to go through a change. Sometimes supports are not your immediate friends but perhaps people who you don't know but understand what you are going through. 

My old job became a trigger for me where I had to decide what was best-my emotional sanity or this job. I decided transfer and thus far it has helped me. Sometimes you need to be the change when your surroundings are not. Healing will take time but consider that you HAVE OPTIONS. Your not alone.

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Welcome back Heavenly, I hope that being back here will help you to turn things around in a positve way,

take care

Paula:hug:

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