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Hi, my name is Nikki. My friend told me about this site and I thought that I'd give it a try. I was violated, beaten, and almost lost my life about a month ago. About a week after everything happened, I was pressured to go back to work by my mother. So I went back to work for a fairly new job. I have had a few break downs at work at my desk. Puddles of tears actually, and people looked at me like I was crazy. Most recently, this past Thursday to be exact. I had my most recent breakdown as it was exactly a month that all of this happened. I remembered waking up in the hospital and looking at my son and my mother looked at me in aw. I felt like I was an exhibit at a circus or the museum how everyone looked at me. I was ashamed, scared, angry, and tired all at once. I have a psychiatrist now and she is helpful with me coping with the situation, however I am lost and felt this was a good way to start.

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Hi Nikki, this is a great site to get help.  I am so sorry that your mother pressured you so much.  I have an uncaring mother and come from a dysfunctional family.  Good to hear you are getting help.  Everyone here at AS are supportive.  Keep posting it will help.  I am just recovering myself it has only been 10 months for me so I am still in a bit of a bad place. There are others here who are much wiser.  Be true to yourself....sorry for your pain.

 

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Hello :hi:

I'm so sorry to hear of your traumatizing attack Nikki. :(  I want to welcome you to AS (After Silence) and I hope you'll find this a supportive and safe place that can assist you on your journey towards healing.

With support,

Activist Ally

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4 hours ago, Nikki27 said:

Hi, my name is Nikki. My friend told me about this site and I thought that I'd give it a try. I was violated, beaten, and almost lost my life about a month ago. About a week after everything happened, I was pressured to go back to work by my mother. So I went back to work for a fairly new job. I have had a few break downs at work at my desk. Puddles of tears actually, and people looked at me like I was crazy. Most recently, this past Thursday to be exact. I had my most recent breakdown as it was exactly a month that all of this happened. I remembered waking up in the hospital and looking at my son and my mother looked at me in aw. I felt like I was an exhibit at a circus or the museum how everyone looked at me. I was ashamed, scared, angry, and tired all at once. I have a psychiatrist now and she is helpful with me coping with the situation, however I am lost and felt this was a good way to start.

Hi Nikki,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma that you have gone thru, but you have found a very supportive site. I am sorry that you were pressured by your mother. She obviously does not know an attack like this is not something you get over. Either that, or perhaps she does not want to even think about the hurt you've endured, and if she refuses to see it, it isn't as bad as she may think. Either way, it's a tough situation to be in. Your emotions are unfortunately a normal part of trying to process what has happened. Please know tho, the shame belongs on the person who has hurt you. Nobody has the right to hurt you that way. I hope with guidance from your psychiatrist and the support you receive here on the site, you will soon realize this. It's a big step to reach out to us, and wish you many forward moving steps on this path we call healing.

Mary

:notalone:

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Hi Nikki, 

I'm Pie. I recently found A.S. I hope you find the level of comfort and support I have found. 

My sincerity for all you are going through. 

Although my situation is likely quite different, I, too have had the angst of dealing with an insensitive parent whose view is "get over it already". 

The point is, I can relate to the challenge of facing a non-understanding parent...whose job is to protect and support. 

Warm wishes. 

Pie 

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Hi and welcome to AS! I hope you find our community informative/supportive. I wish you well on your healing journey.

:aswelcomesu::notalone::youcanheal:

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I am so sorry that happened to you! :( It sucks when the people around you just cant wrap their head around your struggle. Sometimes it's harder for people outside the situation to understand the gravity of it all. We're here for you. I hope you find the support you're looking for here<3

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