New here,and trying to heal.Need help, advice, and support.

[kelbel79]

Hi.My name is Kelly. I registered a couple months ago, but haven't been able to really take the step. I was date raped by my brothers friend 11yrs ago, yet it still has a tremendous affect on me, and I want it to stop. So it's time I step up. I'm also new to forums. So if I screw up somewhere long the line..please let me know.As I don't yet know the proper places to post what things.And I apologize in advance. I look forward to talking with you all, and even sharing my story. That's part of healing I hear. So thank you all for being here with me. It's nice to know I'm not alone 

[patriciag]

9 minutes ago, kelbel79 said:

Hi.My name is Kelly. I registered a couple months ago, but haven't been able to really take the step. I was date raped by my brothers friend 11yrs ago, yet it still has a tremendous affect on me, and I want it to stop. So it's time I step up. I'm also new to forums. So if I screw up somewhere long the line..please let me know.As I don't yet know the proper places to post what things.And I apologize in advance. I look forward to talking with you all, and even sharing my story. That's part of healing I hear. So thank you all for being here with me. It's nice to know I'm not alone 

Hi Kelly , welcome to AS. I am sorry that you were raped. I am glad that you took that big step, it is hard to do. But know you are not alone here. The site can be  overwhelming at first but we are here for you. You will find lots of support here.

[MzKeys75]

I'm sorry for what brought you here, but welcome.  I hope you find the support you need.  Sitting with you.

[phoenixxx]

Welcome to AS Kelly! I am sorry that you were r****, but I am glad that you found this community. Look forward to getting to know you better and hope you find yur way around alright. The hardest part is always the first post, so it will get easier and easier from now on. Best wishes to you. 

[kelbel79]

14 hours ago, patriciag said:

Hi Kelly , welcome to AS. I am sorry that you were raped. I am glad that you took that big step, it is hard to do. But know you are not alone here. The site can be  overwhelming at first but we are here for you. You will find lots of support here.

Thank you everyone. Though this doesn't invade my mind to a panic attack point daily anymore, it definitely gets to me way more than it should after 11yrs.Or so I would think. Though I do realize it will never fully go away. It'll always be in the back of mind. I just need to learn how to handle these triggers when they show their ugly face.I've only had certain people I've even been able to talk to about it.. Including family. This was kind of an "off limits" topic with a few people, since he was a friend of everyone .I'd actually like to share my story.I've had to filter my feelings because of other people for too long, and it's just so hard. There's a lot to learn on this amazing page that I'm so thankful for. Thank you again 

[Tannyluck]

Hi and welcome to AS! I hope you find our community informative/supportive. I wish you well on your healing journey.

[kelbel79]

Thank you Tannyluck. Reading the comments from all of you, and seeing the amount of support I've received already, has made me wanna cry. But happy and relieved tears.

[MeBeMary]

19 hours ago, kelbel79 said:

Hi.My name is Kelly. I registered a couple months ago, but haven't been able to really take the step. I was date raped by my brothers friend 11yrs ago, yet it still has a tremendous affect on me, and I want it to stop. So it's time I step up. I'm also new to forums. So if I screw up somewhere long the line..please let me know.As I don't yet know the proper places to post what things.And I apologize in advance. I look forward to talking with you all, and even sharing my story. That's part of healing I hear. So thank you all for being here with me. It's nice to know I'm not alone 

Hi Kelly,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma that you have experienced. Nobody has the right to hurt another this way. You have found a very supportive site with kind and understanding members. Take your time and look around and you will become comfortable with the site in your own time. Brief descriptions under most forum headings will help you along. It is such a huge step to reach out, one of many I hope you will share with us.

Mary

[kelbel79]

Thank you Mary, I appreciate that. It's weird.. I've been holding this in for so long, so I wouldn't upset people.And now that I don't have to hold it in anymore..I'm having a hard time knowing how to start. But I will do it. I will share my story..very soon.Because I hear talking about it with others that have been there,and getting it off your chest, really helps the healing process. And I'm all for doing whatever I have to do to work through this. I've bottled things up for far too long.But I know I'll have the strength to do that here now, because of all of you.♡

[josiel]

Hi Kelly, 

Welcome to AS!

I have often cried of relief (good tears) over the years when posting on AS and receiving support from people who really understand where I'm coming from.  It means so much and feels so empowering!  It is also very healing.  I no longer feel alone since I have joined.  

This is an incredible site with very courageous, strong, compassionate and determined individuals.  It is so incredibly amazing that we can be there to support eachother!  I feel so grateful for this website.  

I would say, take your time.  Post when you feel ready.  Allow yourself to process at a speed that feels comfortable for you.  AS can feel overwhelming at first.  You're right...talking about it with supportive people can really help the healing process.

All the best on your healing journey,

Josie   

[kelbel79]

Thank you Josie. I'm already an emotional person as it is.And yesterday & today have been two emotionally draining days. Doesn't take much to open these flood gates,or to set of my anxiety. But there's a refreshing feeling in having happy tears for a change. If that makes sense. I already wish I could hug you people(please don't think I'm weird for that.lol)I'm just feeling emotional right now,and very grateful.It's more of a "maybe everything will be ok after all, because I'm not alone in this" type of emotional moment.I'm slowly starting to figure AS out. And yes..everything a little at a time. I'll get there:)

[josiel]

You will get there, Kelly!   

The "happy tears for a change" makes a lot of sense...I totally understand what you're saying.  You're definitely not alone in this...  Isn't it incredible meeting other survivors? 

Yes, everything will be ok...there is hope and it is possible to heal.  Another great thing about AS is the amount of information you will learn here about how to cope better with triggers and with life in general.  I have learned a lot from AS and it has helped me so much!

You're not weird for wanting to hug us!   I'm sure you would get a lot of hugs back from many here if we were all to meet in person, including from me! (I'm  a hugger too).  And I'm pretty sure that there would be a lot of tears from many as well.  

Josie 

[kelbel79]

Yes, it definitely Is incredible. I mean, I hate to think such groups & forums have to exist in the first place. As no one should ever have to go through anything like this to even need such thing.But for those who do..this is a wonderful place/people to have in your corner. 

And thank you for the reassurance that everything will be ok. After experiencong triggers to the point of panic attacks after 11yrs,I was beginning to think I was crazy. But now I know that I'm not, and can see that though it may take time..it'll WILL be ok. I try to remind myself of that daily, but there's something about someone else letting you know you'll be ok too. Ya know?

And the triggers, and how to handle them, has been a really hard thing for me. I kinda suck at it honestly. So I'll appreciate all the help and advice on that too.And thanks for the hug.I so needed that today.

 

[angelic]

Hello Kelly, welcome to After Silence, I'm Paula, a member of the Newbie support team also, i hope you are finding your way around the board okay, if you need any help please dont hesitate to contact one of us,. i hope being here will be a big step in your healing journey

take care, Paula

[kelbel79]

Thank you so much Paula. It's nice to meet you:)

 

 

[Struggling88]

Hi, Kelly, and welcome! 

[kelbel79]

Hi. And thank you. It's nice to meet you struggling88

[HiddenHeart]

Hi, Kelly! Welcome to AS! 

[kelbel79]

Thank you HiddenHeart. I'm happy to be here, and to have this support system. It's been a really anxious, and emotional week. Not just because of the triggers over the past two weeks from my rape, but for some other things going on as well. I am grateful to all of you for welcoming me with open arms,and being here for me. Speaking with all of you, and reading through here, has really helped me with the anxiety at least a little. ♡