Looking for Support

[Nathalie]

Hi everyone! I'm new to the site and looking for support in any way that I can get it, and to talk to people who have been through what I have. My main trauma happened a few months ago when my brother tried to rape me. During, he referenced things he did to me when we were little that I just passed off as curiosity, but has bothered me since. Right now I'm struggling a lot with the idea of repressed memories and having a gut feeling that something else happened when we were younger that I'm forgetting, and maybe even in the recent trauma. I've been having nightmares consistently almost every night about the trauma and people trying to hurt me in general, leading me to try to avoid sleep as much as possible. 

Right now I just need to know that I'm not alone, and any advice or experiences with repressed memories would be much appreciated. Thanks

[wishinuponastar]

((((Nathalie)))))

Welcome to AS!! I am truly sorry for what has brought you here. I was assaulted as an adult and when i went to therapy I was dealing with repressed memories. It is very scary and difficult. Know that you have come to the right place though to seek support and find people that understand. 

I hope that this board helps you on your journey. Know that you are heard and supported. If you need an ear know my inbox is always open. Welcome again. Thinking of you and look forward to seeing you around the board. 

Wishin

[phoenixxx]

Hi Nathalie, welcome to AS. I am so sorry for what your brother tried to do and that you are discovering suppressed memories. I hope you find all the support you are looking for here. This is an amazing community and has helped me so much, I wish the same to you too. 

[reglois]

    if ok

[MeBeMary]

4 hours ago, Nathalie said:

Hi everyone! I'm new to the site and looking for support in any way that I can get it, and to talk to people who have been through what I have. My main trauma happened a few months ago when my brother tried to rape me. During, he referenced things he did to me when we were little that I just passed off as curiosity, but has bothered me since. Right now I'm struggling a lot with the idea of repressed memories and having a gut feeling that something else happened when we were younger that I'm forgetting, and maybe even in the recent trauma. I've been having nightmares consistently almost every night about the trauma and people trying to hurt me in general, leading me to try to avoid sleep as much as possible. 

Right now I just need to know that I'm not alone, and any advice or experiences with repressed memories would be much appreciated. Thanks

Hi Nathalie,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma that was inflicted on you by your brother. You should be able to trust family, but you will find here that many family members are so trustworthy. It isn't right to be hurt in any way. I'm sorry about your nightmares. It is so hard to deal with these aspects when you are awake, but to be confronted by them in dreams is truly awful. You took a very big step reaching out, and I wish you well as you take many more on this journey of healing.

Mary

 

[Struggling88]

Hi, Nathalie, and welcome! 

[angelic]

Hello Nathalie,

welcome to After Silence, I hope you are finding your way around the board okay, if you need any help please dont hesitate to contact me or one of the Newbie support team, we are here to help

i wish you peace and healing

take care, Paula

[Iheartcupcakes]

So sorry, Nathalie. What your brother did was very wrong. I hope you are in a safe place now. 

I was not assaulted by blood family, but I was assaulted by someone I loved dearly. I am hurting for you. 

[LonelyWalker]

Hello, Nathalie.

I'm very sorry for your trauma, and for the pain you're going through. Hopefully, this forum will help you to find relief.

As for repressed memories, I found it useful to write down whatever I remember on separate sheets of paper, and then putting them in a rough chronological order. Once you've written a memory down, it sort of frees some space in your mind, and more can surface. Also, when you're writing down facts, it is easy to draw some conclusions which you cannot see just by having all the memories shuffling chaotically in your head.

This is probably not the only one, and not the best way of restoring memories, but this is what worked for me.

[MzKeys75]

I, too, deal with repressed memories.  Some, I have recovered.  It is a mixed bag.  I hope you find the support you need from AS.

[Nathalie]

Thanks so much for all your ideas and kind words, everyone! I was nervous about posting on here, feeling as if my problems were insignificant compared to others', but I really feel welcomed here and hope I can get a lot out of it! Struggling with self-blame, doubt, and invalidation is something I assume a lot of you struggle with too, which is a crappy place to be, but I'm working on it

[Alongroad]

Nathalie, my goodness, you definitely belong here. That is so traumatic and heartbreaking and a very complex issue to cope with alone.

I started therapy 7 months ago and had a lot of suppressed memories come to the surface in a very fragmented and terrifying way. I was a mess for 3 months and just desperate to get to therapy each week to try and sort it all out. The crisis has definitely passed for me now thank goodness. I agree with what others have said about writing each thing you remember. Write even small fragments if that's all you have. It truly does seem to free up your mind for the rest to come. Pay attention to the details about what you were wearing or in the room or what music was on etc. You will slowly be able to put this in a timeline. I felt like I was a detective figuring out my own life. Holy cow, once that story was unfolded I felt such disgust but now finally much peace. You will get through this. It won't always be this hard. Hang in there!

[warriorgirl]

[Tannyluck]

Hi and welcome to AS! I hope you find our community informative/supportive. I wish you well on your healing journey.