Jump to content
BeesKnees0324

Still struggling years later

Recommended Posts

Hello. I'm a 30 year old soon to be new mommy (10 week countdown). I don't know if it's the fact that I am having a little girl or the fact that I just need to be heard, but lately the hate I hold is bubbling over. I was molested for years when I was a little girl and I think the reality is overwhelming, especially now. I hold so much fear for my little one. My husband knows about my struggles but can only say so much. He knows the man who did it to me because I am forced to see him at times. It's distressing. And to know he has a grand daughter that will soon be the age that I was when it started happening, I just don't know what to think, how to feel, or what to do. I need support now more than ever. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi BeesKnees,

Welcome to AS. I am sorry for the trauma that you have suffered, but you have found a very supportive site. I do understand holding things in, and I also know how it can come bubbling out. You are not alone. What happened to you was not right and you did nothing wrong. Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of your daughter. I'm sorry how overwhelming it must be for you, but you are aware and I am sure you will do what you need to to protect your daughter. I wish you all the best on your healing journey, as well with your growing family.

Mary

:supportu:

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to AS BeesKnees :) 

Congrats on your precious little one! I can imagine how concerned you are for the safety of your child! Sending you lots of support! Here is a post that has many good articles on understanding the various reactions to CSA and I feel it may help you to understand what you are going through better and offer you support! Hope it helps you as much as it has helped me :) I support your healing 100%

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to AS BeesKnees. I'm sorry that you have a reason to be here but happy you found us. Congratulations on your soon-to-arrive daughter! Hope being here with us will help you heal. We are here for each other :notalone:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, loveable said:

Welcome to AS BeesKnees :) 

Congrats on your precious little one! I can imagine how concerned you are for the safety of your child! Sending you lots of support! Here is a post that has many good articles on understanding the various reactions to CSA and I feel it may help you to understand what you are going through better and offer you support! Hope it helps you as much as it has helped me :) I support your healing 100%

 

Thank you. I actually read the first article. It was helpful. I will later read the others. Glad for some support

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
50 minutes ago, MeBeMary said:

Hi BeesKnees,

Welcome to AS. I am sorry for the trauma that you have suffered, but you have found a very supportive site. I do understand holding things in, and I also know how it can come bubbling out. You are not alone. What happened to you was not right and you did nothing wrong. Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of your daughter. I'm sorry how overwhelming it must be for you, but you are aware and I am sure you will do what you need to to protect your daughter. I wish you all the best on your healing journey, as well with your growing family.

Mary

:supportu:

 

Thank you. I am hoping that stumbling onto this site will help me in ways I never dreamed of. I already feel that support.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to AS @BeesKnees0324. I'm sorry for what brings you here, but want you to know you are certainly among friends here and a great (from what I've found) support system. 

And congratulations on your soon-to-be baby girl :) It's very common for these feelings/struggles to surface (/re-surface) when any sort of "life changing" event happens. The fact that you are about to have a daughter and given your history, it is no surprise that this is suddenly plaguing your thoughts now. 

I'm the same age as you and my abuse too happened when I was a child and I am also just very recently feeling the struggle that I (somehow) managed to avoid for most of my young adult life so I understand completely where you're coming from. Here are a few things that I've found helpful (so far):

1) Reading Survivors books ("The Courage to Heal" and "It Wasn't Your Fault" are two that I've picked up personally)

2) Keeping a private journal of my thoughts (sometimes I feel like I can't tell people some things, but they are begging to be let out. Writing in my journal helps get them out)

3) Posting here at AS has helped me I think quite a bit. Without the support of these lovely people I never would have been able to work up the courage to seek out counselling, or to speak up about my struggling to a family member (that turned out to be very helpful to me, I can't believe I waited this long to do so!).

I hope some of these things are able to help you as well in your journey to healing. I have no doubt you are going to take extra-special care of your little one :throb: Congrats again! And feel free to message me if you ever need a chat!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi and welcome to AS! I hope you find our community informative/supportive. I wish you well on your healing journey.

:aswelcomesu::notalone::youcanheal:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi BeesKnees,

welcome to After silence, my name is Paula and i am a member of the Newbie Support team here, i hope you are finding your way around the board okay, If you need any help with anything, please dont hesitate to contact me or one of the team

i wish you peace and healing

take care, Paula :aswelcomesu:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×