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Want2bheard

Hello - new to the site

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Hello everyone.  I've been in a struggle looking for support in dealing with my childhood abuse.  I've started therapy and it is getting harder.  My therapist recommended I share my abuse with my husband so he can help support me through this process.  Sadly he has turned to his gaming addiction and we no longer communicate.  I've tried talking to him but he says I need to deal with my issues.  We have 2 small children and recently I quit my job because I have had a lot of anxiety and depression.  I feel alone and wish I had someone (my husband) to support me thru this painful process.  Some days and nights can be so hard. I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow.

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It sounds like you've been having a rough time. I'm so glad you're here, though. I'm new here, too, but so far this cite has really helped me feel less overwhelmed with everything, and I hope it will help you, too. You aren't alone anymore; we're here for you.

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Welcome. 

Telling your loved ones is very difficult.  You're vulnerable, once again. That's the last thing many of us want to feel. My boyfriend also didn't take the truth of my abuse well. I think men process things differently. He doesn't want to think of you going through those things. That's hard for someone to hear. You just have to let them process it. Take any time  you can when the two of you are relaxed and alone to tell him what you need to tell him. He doesn't necessarily need all the details and he probably won't want them. But you can tell him how you feel now. He should be supportive,  it's one of his duties as a husband. I know I, as well as the rest of the members here would be more than willing to help support you through your journey. We all understand you here. 

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Hi Want2bheard and welcome to AS. I am sorry for what brought you here and that your husband doesn't want to talk to you about it. My bf used to talk to me, but recently he told me it is too much. He doesn't like thinking about these things happening to me all the time. So I joined AS and found a T to talk to, and I actually think this is much better for me - I can have a healthy and positive relationship with my bf but still get to talk about stuff when I need to. That doesn't mean he shouldn't be supportive in general - just maybe he doesn't cope well with the details.

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Welcome. Glad you are here. I hope that you can find support at AS and that in time you are able to find a way to communicate with your husband. 

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9 hours ago, Want2bheard said:

Hello everyone.  I've been in a struggle looking for support in dealing with my childhood abuse.  I've started therapy and it is getting harder.  My therapist recommended I share my abuse with my husband so he can help support me through this process.  Sadly he has turned to his gaming addiction and we no longer communicate.  I've tried talking to him but he says I need to deal with my issues.  We have 2 small children and recently I quit my job because I have had a lot of anxiety and depression.  I feel alone and wish I had someone (my husband) to support me thru this painful process.  Some days and nights can be so hard. I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Hi Want2bheard, welcome to AS.. I am sorry about you being abused as a child. Sorry to say there are many of us who understand what you are going through. I am sorry that your husband is not there for you. My husband has been there for me through so much until just  recently. He can't handle the new things that are going on with me. I have talked to my T about it and we have  agreed that at this time I just can't share with him. But she did tell me to reach out here more. You will find this to be a safe place, where you can share your feelings and you don't feel so alone. Like you I hope my husband will come around that I can share with him but for now I have people here for me.

Patricia

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Hi and welcome to AS!

:aswelcomesu::youcanheal::notalone:

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Hi, Want2bHeard, and welcome! :wave: I can relate to having a non supportive husband. It sucks. I hope you will find more support here. I know I have. 

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21 hours ago, Want2bheard said:

Hello everyone.  I've been in a struggle looking for support in dealing with my childhood abuse.  I've started therapy and it is getting harder.  My therapist recommended I share my abuse with my husband so he can help support me through this process.  Sadly he has turned to his gaming addiction and we no longer communicate.  I've tried talking to him but he says I need to deal with my issues.  We have 2 small children and recently I quit my job because I have had a lot of anxiety and depression.  I feel alone and wish I had someone (my husband) to support me thru this painful process.  Some days and nights can be so hard. I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Hi Want2bheard,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry that you have suffered trauma and are currently lacking the support of your husband. You have found a very supportive site tho, with many understanding and kind members. I wish you the best as you walk on your journey of healing.

Mary

:notalone:

 

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Want2bheard,

I can understand your pain and frustration regarding your husband. When I got out of my sexually abusive relationship I jumped into a new relationship and It was very hard for my boyfriend to "deal" with my own issues. What I came to realize was that it wasnt that he didnt want to hear about it or help me, but it was very painful for him to see me in so much pain so he shut down. Just because he doesnt want to hear about it doesnt mean he doesnt care, it may just mean its a lot for him, and although thats not ideal, you need to know that we are here for you. We can listen to your story with open arms and open hearts and lift you up as much as we can. Stay strong. We're here for you.

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With you every step of the way. Lets do this. I support your healing 100%.

Matthew

P.S. Don't beat yourself up. Take care of yourself and dealing with CSA is a priority sometimes. You are not alone. Do not feel ashamed or guilty for finding support.

P.S.S. Real sorry your husband isn't there to stand up for you and keep his word like when he promised he would take care of you in sickness and in health. I challenge that man's integrity. I hope he reads that. In fact, you can have my cell number so he can call me and we can discuss how playing a video game in the midst of a crises and other events is about the dumbest thing anyone can do. At any rate, I hear you. And I agree, it is pitiful.

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Im sorry for what you have gone through, we are all here for you, it will get better, take care. And welcome

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