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Hey everyone,

I'm new to this site and hoping to gain some insight from others (and who knows, maybe even be able to provide some at some point to others) and to just generally get involved in a community where I don't feel like I have to tip-toe around my feelings like I do with the (very few) family members that know of my past. I do have a very supportive family, but I don't go to them my issues that relate to my past sexual abuse because I feel like A) they can't really understand me, B) they feel guilty that it happened which just makes me feel bad because THEY feel bad, and C) sometimes its just easier to talk to "strangers".

Although my abuse ended over a decade ago I really never actively tried to heal from it (I'm more the "bottle it up and shove it way down deep inside where nobody can ever find it" type of person) but apparently I could only hold back that dam from bursting for so long (spoiler alert: it burst!) and so I thought this might be one way to start on my path to healing. Most experts say the best way is to TALK about it and like I said, I don't really have anyone in my life that I particularly want to talk about it with and also I figure, who better to talk to then the people who can relate and hopefully we can all gain something from each other, even if its just a listening ear or a virtual hug :) 

So, hi everyone.

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Hi, randi, and welcome.  I'm sorry for what brings you here, but hope find what you need.  Hugs to you! :hug:

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Welcome to AS, Randi. I can relate to not really being able to talk fully with in person friends/family. And, I also understand about bottling things up. I just started to deal with my childhood sexual abuse two months ago after 30 years of denial. And, I just started to deal with my sexual assault last week after not realizing it was sexual assault for over 20 years. So, I get it. Glad you made it to AS. I hope that this is a healing space for you.

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12 minutes ago, aftersilence1 said:

Welcome to AS, Randi. I can relate to not really being able to talk fully with in person friends/family. And, I also understand about bottling things up. I just started to deal with my childhood sexual abuse two months ago after 30 years of denial. And, I just started to deal with my sexual assault last week after not realizing it was sexual assault for over 20 years. So, I get it. Glad you made it to AS. I hope that this is a healing space for you.

I'm glad I came here, I thought I was absolutely crazy that all these feelings are coming back NOW, years later, with no apparent reason as to why. Its comforting even to know that I'm not the only one. I feel like my family won't understand it. Sure, they'll feel bad for me, but in my head I feel like they'd be thinking "yeah but, that was over a decade ago! didn't we deal with this already when you were 16?" I know they'd never say that, and maybe they'd never really feel that, but they still also wouldn't get it, either.

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:aswelcomesu: :youcanheal: :notalone: :bighug: if ok

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Hi Randi, 

Welcome to AS and nice to meet you. I am sorry for what happened to you at 16. I am also just starting to properly deal with something that happened to me at age 15 and all of the aftermath, bad choices and experiences that happened after that, and it has been just over a decade for me, too. You are not crazy, sometimes we just need a long time until we are really ready to heal completely. Until then we do our best to live our lives and move on, but there comes a point where we must (and can) deal with this. Glad you found this site, it has been really useful and supporting for me, and I hope it will be the same for you. 

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wow im new but everything that randi84 said applies to me! i have a great family but just don't get it and i can't talk to them about it. im 36 and trying 6o come to terms with something that happened when i was approx 8/9 years old and only a few of my friends know. i hope to heal further through this site and if i can help or inspire someone else that would be amazing. 

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18 hours ago, randi84 said:

Hey everyone,

I'm new to this site and hoping to gain some insight from others (and who knows, maybe even be able to provide some at some point to others) and to just generally get involved in a community where I don't feel like I have to tip-toe around my feelings like I do with the (very few) family members that know of my past. I do have a very supportive family, but I don't go to them my issues that relate to my past sexual abuse because I feel like A) they can't really understand me, B) they feel guilty that it happened which just makes me feel bad because THEY feel bad, and C) sometimes its just easier to talk to "strangers".

Although my abuse ended over a decade ago I really never actively tried to heal from it (I'm more the "bottle it up and shove it way down deep inside where nobody can ever find it" type of person) but apparently I could only hold back that dam from bursting for so long (spoiler alert: it burst!) and so I thought this might be one way to start on my path to healing. Most experts say the best way is to TALK about it and like I said, I don't really have anyone in my life that I particularly want to talk about it with and also I figure, who better to talk to then the people who can relate and hopefully we can all gain something from each other, even if its just a listening ear or a virtual hug :) 

So, hi everyone.

Hi randi,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma that you suffered. Nobody has the right to hurt someone like this. I think most of us get that fact that people that haven't been thru it, as well-meaning as they may be, truly do not understand. I may not be an expert, but the support and understanding is never a bad thing, no matter where it comes from. I wish you well as you begin your healing journey.

Mary

:notalone:

 

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3 hours ago, Princess45 said:

wow im new but everything that randi84 said applies to me! i have a great family but just don't get it and i can't talk to them about it. im 36 and trying 6o come to terms with something that happened when i was approx 8/9 years old and only a few of my friends know. i hope to heal further through this site and if i can help or inspire someone else that would be amazing. 

Hi Princess,

I would also like to extend a welcome to you. I'm very sorry that you experienced trauma, but I would like to reassure you that this is a supportive site. I am glad you have found us. I wish you well on your healing journey.

Mary

:supportu:

 

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thank you everyone for such kind words, your support means so much :) I'm so glad to have found this supportive community :bighug: 

I have yet to find any counselling/therapy so I feel like this is a definitely a good start. 

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Hello Randi84, welcome. You are not alone. I'm sorry you experienced abuse. It was not your fault.

This group on-line is a good source of support. There is a lot of information you can read.

I'm sorry you are not getting much support from family members. It sounds like you can connect with them at other levels.

It is normal to feel the way you are feeling at present. Some people find helpful to talk about it, others prefer not to tell what happened to them but want to talk about the effects. It is up to you what you want to do. I think there are different ways of telling our stories: talking to supportive people, writing about it, painting, drawing...It depends on what we find more helpful. Remember that you choose what you want to share with us and when. Go at your own pace. It is okay to take care of yourself.

Healing is a journey and takes time. Healing is possible.

Stay connected.

May you be well.

:supportu::notalone:

 

Together.gif

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Hi and welcome to AS! I hope you find our community informative/supportive. I understand everything you said, especially about not talking to family. We're all here to lend an ear. I wish you well on your path to healing.

:aswelcomesu::notalone::youcanheal:

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