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Dancerdna

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I just joined and wanted to say hi.  I'm a survivor but I don't feel like I survived anything since I barely remember what happened to me so many years ago. It all was "normal" in my world and I didn't know it wasn't "normal" until years later. And even after I told someone it was all swept under the rug and I was told not to talk about it and felt more ashamed than anything else. But recently I have reached out for help from a therapist and have reached out to the person who saved me to try and get some memories back and try to understand at least what happened. I was told many lies and stories during the whole situation so I'm just trying to sort out what really happened. Thanks for having this support group and I'm looking forward to getting know some of you. 

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Welcome, Dancerdna! We're glad that you are here. You are a survivor, memories or no memories. I can relate to having abuse swept under the rug and being confused about what "normal" is. When I told my Mom about my babysitter sexually abusing me she took me to a therapist who convinced my mother that "nothing happened." I repressed the memories for 5 years, and when I remembered I was still not allowed to name my experience and heal. I was very confused about what "normal" was because I had to assume that abuse was normal since no one ever did anything about it.

I'm glad that you have a therapist you trust, and I hope that you find AS a safe place for your healing journey.

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6 hours ago, Dancerdna said:

I just joined and wanted to say hi.  I'm a survivor but I don't feel like I survived anything since I barely remember what happened to me so many years ago. It all was "normal" in my world and I didn't know it wasn't "normal" until years later. And even after I told someone it was all swept under the rug and I was told not to talk about it and felt more ashamed than anything else. But recently I have reached out for help from a therapist and have reached out to the person who saved me to try and get some memories back and try to understand at least what happened. I was told many lies and stories during the whole situation so I'm just trying to sort out what really happened. Thanks for having this support group and I'm looking forward to getting know some of you. 

Hi Dancerdna,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma that you have suffered, remembered or not. Many of us have memory issues, so unfortunately it's not that uncommon. You have found a safe and supportive site that will allow you to say and feel whatever you need to...without judgment or pressure. You were never to blame and have no reason to feel ashamed. The person who hurt you should feel shame. I am sorry that you did not find the support at the time, but you have support now. I wish you well as you journey down your healing road.

Mary

:youcanheal:

 

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:aswelcomesu: :youcanheal: :notalone: :bighug: if ok

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16 hours ago, Dancerdna said:

I just joined and wanted to say hi.  I'm a survivor but I don't feel like I survived anything since I barely remember what happened to me so many years ago. It all was "normal" in my world and I didn't know it wasn't "normal" until years later. And even after I told someone it was all swept under the rug and I was told not to talk about it and felt more ashamed than anything else. But recently I have reached out for help from a therapist and have reached out to the person who saved me to try and get some memories back and try to understand at least what happened. I was told many lies and stories during the whole situation so I'm just trying to sort out what really happened. Thanks for having this support group and I'm looking forward to getting know some of you. 

Hi Dancerdna, welcome to AS. Not remembering is very  common. In my case I remember everything but one of my sisters remember nothing, she put the abuse in boxes. When she was in T she would to open each box. ( she now has all the boxes opened.) I believe Shame is the hardest thing to get rid of, but it can be done. I feel no shame or quilt from my abuse. Our abuser are very good at making us believe it is our fault or we wanted. You may find that certain things kind trigger a memory. This very  normally too, if you can trying writing it down, what the trigger was ( could be a smell, something that someone said, a place) take it to your T so you understand it and how to deal with it.

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Hi and welcome to AS! I hope you find our community supportive/informative. I wish you well on your journey to healing.

:notalone::youcanheal::aswelcomesu:

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