Breaking the silence

[Mylo1984]

Hello. As suggested by a therapist I have started an account with this site. About two months ago I was molested while drinking at a friend's house and have had difficulty talking about the events. I kept everything to myself for awhile, afraid to tell anyone because I felt stupid for putting myself in that situation. Because I kept it to myself I started feeling depressed, started having anxiety attacks when falling asleep, and have had trouble eating. All of this became increasingly worse about two weeks ago when my boyfriend found out. He accused me of cheating on him and now won't talk to me. So now I am feeling even more alone and hurt. 

[HiddenHeart]

Hi, Mylo1984. Welcome.

I'm so sorry that happened to you & that you bf responded the way he did. 

[blondi]

I am very sorry you are dealing with this Mylo. It has to be painful place to be. 

Edited March 31, 2016 by blondi

[Jaybird13]

I'm sorry for what happened. You were drunk and possibly passed out at the time this occurred so you could not give consent. No one had a right to touch you in that state. Many people seem to put the blame on the victim when they have been drinking and it isn't right. The blame falls on the person who took advantage of the situation and your vulnerability. I hope your boyfriend is just in shock and realizes you couldn't have consented and it wasn't your fault. If he cannot see that than I believe you are better off without him. Try to stay strong and know that we are here to support you. Welcome to AS! 

[Mylo1984]

I was passed out. I remember sitting on the couch and I must have laid my head back or something and the next thing I really remember was the guy shaking me awake telling me to get dressed. I know I never consented to anything and I also know I should have told my boyfriend right away. I tried explaining things to him in an email, while he has acknowledged he read it and even said we will talk about it at some time, he won't make time for me. Tomorrow marks two weeks since he texted me telling me he found out and I should never talk to him again. I am trying to take it as a positive sign he said we would talk, but it's really hard dealing with everything and on the top of it all, my boyfriend won't talk to me. 

[reglois]

    if OK

[Struggling88]

Hi, Mylo, and welcome to AS!  I'm sorry that happened to you. It's not your fault! All the blame lays on the jerk that did that to you. 

[Mylo1984]

thanks for the welcome from everyone. I know I am not to blame for what happened, but I know I should have told my boyfriend before he found out from someone else. I was wondering if anyone else had difficulty with their significant other after their trauma? I don't know how to convince him to talk to me. I don't even necessarily need him to discuss what happened, I just want him to say something more than he is busy with school. 

[MeBeMary]

21 hours ago, Mylo1984 said:

Hello. As suggested by a therapist I have started an account with this site. About two months ago I was molested while drinking at a friend's house and have had difficulty talking about the events. I kept everything to myself for awhile, afraid to tell anyone because I felt stupid for putting myself in that situation. Because I kept it to myself I started feeling depressed, started having anxiety attacks when falling asleep, and have had trouble eating. All of this became increasingly worse about two weeks ago when my boyfriend found out. He accused me of cheating on him and now won't talk to me. So now I am feeling even more alone and hurt. 

Hi Mylo,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry that you suffered a trauma, but am happy that you were recommended to this site. It is a supportive and safe site with many kind and understanding members. What happened to you was not right and not your fault. Nobody has the right to hurt you like that. I am sorry that your boyfriend is not understanding at the moment, I hope he comes around and becomes a person of support, instead of suspicion. It's not an easy journey we face, but I do wish you well as you walk down your healing path.

Mary

 

[Tannyluck]

Hi and welcome to AS! I'm sorry for the trauma that led you here. Please remember that what happened to you is not your fault. I'm glad this site was recommended to you, and I hope you'll find it supportive and informative. Feel free to look around our site and share as much or as little as you like at your own pace and on your own terms. I wish you well on your healing journey.