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what now


T

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i hope i don't upset if i do let me know, so what now.....i have come to realize that after a family member was lost to me... my emotions began to overwhelm me...it seemed like i was stuck. everything i did blew up in my face...negative...wrong...putting up defensive...i began to break down. my life spiraling out of control.

Work, home, family i am becoming destructive to myself, i didn't know why. i am pride full, ashamed, more bull headed and stubborn. I have a therapist, once a week right now isn't enough, arrggg. i am not drinking, or smoking, i so want to. but i was there when i was young, struggling not to go back to that.

I didn't know, how could it have happened? i know the things that people say and i often have said them...this is a time to move forward, don't let this consume you, you have to understand your not alone. 

I start telling my, spouse, friend, work. surprisingly i receive comments from all of them.. "that makes scene". like they have known all along, why didn't someone tell me if they suspected.  But it does make sense. The way i react to things, the way i defend, and other things.

I would never suspect that one day i would be blogging about myself so openly. 

What now???  I don't know, right now breathing is a good idea. In, out....and so on. Etc. Etc.

So my journey begins.

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T, I hear what you are saying. It is good breathing in  ,out. This can be so overwhelming. I have a notebook and I call it my journey, I write things in it, my feelings, my fears there are so many of them.  As much as it hurts and scares us , we need to back and face those things that was done to us. I see where you say people will say you are not alone in this. I am going to say it to you again YOU ARE NOT ALONE, these are no just  words but a fact. you have found a site where we can understand how you feel. Yes your journey begins but you will get stronger in this  journey, and you don't have to do it alone. Welcome to AS

Patricia

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Hi T,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma you have suffered and I am sorry that you are still suffering thru after effects. It is not fair. You have found a very supportive site with many understanding members. As Patricia said, you are not alone, not here, not with the members of this site. You have reached out, and we are here for you. I wish you the best as you walk along your healing journey.

Mary

:youcanheal:

 

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23 hours ago, T said:

i hope i don't upset if i do let me know, so what now.....i have come to realize that after a family member was lost to me... my emotions began to overwhelm me...it seemed like i was stuck. everything i did blew up in my face...negative...wrong...putting up defensive...i began to break down. my life spiraling out of control.

Work, home, family i am becoming destructive to myself, i didn't know why. i am pride full, ashamed, more bull headed and stubborn. I have a therapist, once a week right now isn't enough, arrggg. i am not drinking, or smoking, i so want to. but i was there when i was young, struggling not to go back to that.

I didn't know, how could it have happened? i know the things that people say and i often have said them...this is a time to move forward, don't let this consume you, you have to understand your not alone. 

I start telling my, spouse, friend, work. surprisingly i receive comments from all of them.. "that makes scene". like they have known all along, why didn't someone tell me if they suspected.  But it does make sense. The way i react to things, the way i defend, and other things.

I would never suspect that one day i would be blogging about myself so openly. 

What now???  I don't know, right now breathing is a good idea. In, out....and so on. Etc. Etc.

So my journey begins.

Hello T. Welcome to AS! It is my wish that you find this site as helpful and healing as I have in my own healing journey.

I am part of the NST (Newbie Support Team). What that means is that I can help direct you as you learn to navigate the forums. Should you have any questions at all feel free to send a PM to me and I will help you out. :)

You've taken a huge step in reaching out. This is a big step in healing from abuse of any kind. Take all the time you need to share. Feel free to share as little or as much as you would like to. Some people find it better or easier for them if they "transition" into the forums by doing things such as: not typing right away but rather just reading other user's threads/topics and/or replying to them, or by just reading threads and seeing what we've got to offer, but then again others like to just jump right in and share their story. That is what is great about this place, it's all up to you and you make the calls. Many of us have had our control and rights taken from us, here YOU ARE IN CONTROL. :flowers:

Know that you are not alone.

Am listening and validating you and your experiences.

Sending healing energy your way.

~Chantel~ :flowers:

 

 

 

 

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