Alone

[leowoman79]

ive had a recent experience. i was with my boyfriend eating dinner & had a few drinks, we were talking with the locals. as we were leaving a round of drinks was bought for us so we decided to stay for a bit longer. i'm not sure how much time passed before i started to feel little woozy so i went to the restroom. the last memory i have is sitting down & then a guy from the bar offering me his hand. the staff at the hotel took me to my boyfriend. the next day i woke up confused because i was sleeping on the couch. i could only remember flashes from the night before but had a terrible pit in my stomach. as well as a black eye and sprained ankle. my boyfriend kept asking how i could leave with a total stranger and go to his room. it didnt make sense, that wasnt something i would do. i certainly didnt drink enough to black out, its like something stole a piece of my memory. a few days went by and my boyfriend called the hotel, its on camera of the man & me together in the middle of a hall. i cant even read the words as i type them. i went to the er and they performed a rape kit and toxicology. i thought date rape drugs made you unconscious, i didnt know you could still function. i also had a fractured rib. i know my boyfriend was a victim as well, he was the other part of the relationship. he said he doesnt know if he can get over it, it doesnt make sense to him. i feel very alone.

[patriciag]

leowoman, I am so sorry this happened to you. I don't know anything about the drugs people use in this case. This is NOT your fault you did nothing wrong your boyfriend did nothing wrong. I am glad you went to the ER. You both to need to look after yourself.

You have found a safe place here. You are not alone here.

Patricia

[MeBeMary]

Hi leowoman,

Welcome to AS. I am sorry for the circumstances you find yourself here, but you have found a very supportive site. The members are understanding and kind. Patricia is correct, this is NOT your fault. I do not know much about drugs either, even tho I believe it may have been a part of my own trauma. Thru this site and the members here, I have found that different drugs can do different things in different ways to different people. You don't have to be unconscious to not remember anything.

I am very sorry this happened to you. I hope your boyfriend can see past what he doesn't understand and just trusts in you. To be honest, I think the only ones who really understands these things are the monsters who commit these crimes against us.

Mary

[reglois]

if ok

[leowoman79]

Thank you is not enough. My eyes are watering because of your kindness. I am incredibly grateful I would this site.

[chant2012]

22 hours ago, leowoman79 said:

ive had a recent experience.  i was with my boyfriend eating dinner & had a few drinks, we were talking with the locals.  as we were leaving a round of drinks was bought for us so we decided to stay for a bit longer.  i'm not sure how much time passed before i started to feel little woozy so i went to the restroom.  the last memory i have is sitting down & then a guy from the bar offering me his hand.  the staff at the hotel took me to my boyfriend.  the next day i woke up confused because i was sleeping on the couch.  i could only remember flashes from the night before but had a terrible pit in my stomach.  as well as a black eye and sprained ankle.   my boyfriend kept asking how i could leave with a total stranger and go to his room.  it didnt make sense, that wasnt something i would do. i certainly didnt drink enough to black out, its like something stole a piece of my memory.   a few days went by and my boyfriend called the hotel, its on camera of the man & me together in the middle of a hall.  i cant even read the words as i type them.  i went to the er and they performed a rape kit and toxicology.  i thought date rape drugs made you unconscious, i didnt know you could still function.   i also had a fractured rib.  i know my boyfriend was a victim as well, he was the other part of the relationship.  he said he doesnt know if he can get over it, it doesnt make sense to him.     i feel very alone. 

Hello leowoman. Welcome to AS! It is my wish that you find this site as helpful and healing as I have in my healing journey. 

I am part of the NST (Newbie Support Team). What that means is that I (or any of the mods/admins/NST) can help/direct you as you learn how to use the forums. Should you have questions, feel free to send a PM to any one of the AS staff. 

You've taken a huge step in reaching out. This is a big step in healing from abuse of any kind. Take all the time you need in sharing. 

Know that you are not alone. I don't know about the drugs people use so much but I think I've had them used on me before (but am not sure). Please know this is not your fault at all. Does your boyfriend understand this? Perhaps counseling for both of you would help. 

Am listening and validating you and your experiences. 

Here is a link to the board guidelines and rules: 
http://www.aftersilence.org/forum/index.php?s=5c8b6bf0f3f95bcc2f076d1d105a1719&showtopic=194#entry685

Here is a link regarding some privacy/safety issues that are helpful:
http://www.aftersilence.org/forum/index.php?s=5c8b6bf0f3f95bcc2f076d1d105a1719&showtopic=27269#entry218846

Sending healing energy your way. 

~Chantel~

[Karla5278]

You are not alone and I would give anything to have been there to support you and help you! I can be there for you know and give you whatever you need 

[reglois]

((((( Karla )))))         if ok

[Butterflyluv]

So sorry this happened. It is no your fault. Safe hugs if okay