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The Inner Child Thread

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Hehehe I used to not sleep with a Teddy but I do now every single night. :blush::)

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Guest Dawn

I sleep with three teddy bears (well actually two, one of them is an elephant) ****raises hand three times lol****

One of the bears is from my mum, she brought it about a year ago when i was having a real down time.

The second id from my very good friend who gave it me to hug when she wasn'ta round.

and the elephant is one that i had as a child and it has literally seen and heard everything, i guess when i wanna connect with my inner child the elephant helps me to do it.

Dawn

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I sleep with a giant teddy bear(care bear actually) and a whole zoo of sheep, giraffes, and very happy flowers lol.

Its comforting.

My inner child is playing quietyly ha. Later on I'll have to beg her to help me clean.

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I took out my father's picture for the first time in years. I put it up with all the rest of the family photos. He was my father.

Ashleigh

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Forgive me ... but I just don't quite understand.

Is your inner child a real, separate part of you? Exisiting sort of on its own? Can you really literally SPEAK to them and they speak back?

I started a little inner child work in therapy ages ago, but I didn't know what to write in my letter, and I didn't know at all how to 'become' my inner child.

Is it just you when you were younger? In which case ... if I have forgotten things ... would I find out everything I wanted to know by getting in touch with my inner child?

Thanks a lot,

I'm really interested in this.

Saz x

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Guest Dawn

:hug: Hi saz,

ill try and answer from my understanding

Is your inner child a real, separate part of you? Exisiting sort of on its own? Can you really literally SPEAK to them and they speak back?

For me, my inner child is a seperate being that exists within me. she is about 7 years old (the significance of that is that i was 7 when the abuse began)....she lives in me, and if i visualise her she is the image of who i was at 7. i place her in the pit of my stomach and i think the significance of that is that when i feel my emotions they seem to come from the pit of the stomach.

Can i speak to her?, yeah and she speaks back...... i mean i don't outwardly speak to her, but when i spend the time trying to connect with her and nurture her i will ask her how she is feeling, what she would like to do, what i can do to make her feel better..... sometimes she sulks back at me, and won't talk.... other times i may not want to talk to or listen to her, but she will want me too and that usually manifests itself in me getting overly emotional and needing to find my childhood teddy.... (it sounds an odd concept, but once you connect with your inner child you would understand what i am on about!)

started a little inner child work in therapy ages ago, but I didn't know what to write in my letter, and I didn't know at all how to 'become' my inner child.

i also started inner child work in my last lot of counselling, and in part it helped in part it made me more confused. I have found that my inner child is unique to me, and i guess everyone's inner child is different. I have written my inner child letters, and she has written back (indeed some of them are in this thread) that was another useful way i found of connecting with her.

Is it just you when you were younger? In which case ... if I have forgotten things ... would I find out everything I wanted to know by getting in touch with my inner child?

I think your inner child is whatever age you want her to be, as i say mine is currntly 7, but i know there is also an 11 year old in there, and also an 18 year old (only they haven't shown themselves yet)

I think that in part the inner child does remember things that you may have forgotten, or perhaps (as was the case for me) not wanted to remember. I am not sure if you would find out everything you wanted to know by getting in touch with your inner child, but its maybe worth a try....

as i say me and my inner child have a unique relationship, soem days we get on and she proves a great comfort to me, some days she seems to hinder my ability to cope, but i guess that's because i am not always emotionally strong enough to listen to her.

Hope this helps

good luck with it all, if you do try to go in search of your inner child

Dawn

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Hey :):hug:

I think that I find it hard to think of speaking / writing to someone ... and they write back, except I'm still doing the writing and talking. I don't see how I can swap and change between people ... but I suppose that comes with time.

Thanks for the advice. It's something I want to develop if I can :)

Saz x

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I think that I have finally found my inner child. I know exactly where she is. She is trapped in a certain place at a certain age. I know the place and the age, can even see what she is wearing, but I do not want to write any details yet.

karen

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I know what my inner child is wearing too...an outfit I hate...what I was wearing when the SA began. I could never wear it after that...and some other outfits...cause of the memories they induced. I'm glad I got rid of them all, but I can still see them clearly and remember what they looked like on my body...well my body as it was then.

*sigh*

I want to write to my inner child, and have her write back. I think I may do that and post it here if okay. I see her but I haven't developed a strong enough connection yet to truly understand and forgive yet.

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I know what you mean

karen

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Guest Dawn
I want to write to my inner child, and have her write back. I think I may do that and post it here if okay. I see her but I haven't developed a strong enough connection yet to truly understand and forgive yet.

Good luck with the writing to your inner child, and feel free to post it.

I don't have the gretest connection with my inner child, i find it hard to think that she is still so vulnerable and locked in time....but i think as the healing goes on it gets easier to connect with the inner child

Dawn

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MY INNER CHILD FINALLY SPEAKING OUT.

TRIGGER!!!!!!!! Read with caution.

I hate being 13. Its hard. I’m scared. Dirty. I just hurt, don’t know how to make it go away. I can’t tell. My mom…she’d just be mad. Yell and everything. Its my fault anyway. I shouldn’t have been sneaking around with ____. He’s cute but he doesn’t really want to date me. ____ thought because ____ touched me he should too. But he’s so old, and fat, and yucky. I don’t know why he’s doing this…why he’s doing this. He’s an adult, in his 20s almost. I’m 13…still a kid aren’t I? I can’t tell, I can’t stop it. Its my fault. I deserve it, cause its my mistake. I cut my arm…the other night…not long ago…doesn’t seem long ago. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t breathe. Someone was sitting on my chest. I can’t cry though. Only after I cut, then I could. Maybe it works. I have to keep this inside. I don’t want anyone else to hurt. Maybe it will be over soon. Then it will be over forever. I can do this by myself. ….

~My inner child needed heard. She needed to say this…cause she never got too.~

I’ll post more as it comes. Gosh that was weird. I was shaking the whole time. It was weird. I reverted back for a few minutes. Wow.

I'll respond to her once I can...

~TRIGGER~

Okay so now me at 16/17 came out...not sure exactly when. It just came out...kinda scary. I'm gonna try to make them shut up now so I can say something. Sorry for posting this, just makes me feel better.

I hate loving him. I hate it. I can’t leave,. I can never get any better, never. I deserve it all. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t have had to go through all I have. I wouldn’t still be hrting and people would have believe me when I told. But no one did. Not even my family….they just lectured me as if they believed I was a little w**re. So maybe I am. Maybe what ___ Did was just what I needed to wake me up. My real mom was a w**re so why should I be any different? I’ll just like her. Always being with men like him…men who hurt me. Nothing matters anymore. I don’t know why I even try. I won’t kill myself. Not worth it anymore. I must live so I can suffer. I can only suffer, its the only thing I can do. No one else cares, no one else love me…so why should I care??? I don’t I hate me. He says he loves me, but he doesn’t. I’ll probably marry him. Then I can suffer for life. Just like I should. Daughter of a w**re and a wife beater…why should my kids have any different. Nothing but a worthless Greene County w**re. All I’ve ever been. Everyone thinks I wanted everying. As if I wanted that piece of sh*t touching me. I’ve got to stay calm and be okay. I’m gonna go to his place…smoke some pot. That always clears my mind. Clears. Maybe I’ll die before too long, try other drugs…maybe he’ll kill me like he always says. Why is my family so blind?

Okay this might seem stupid, but I seriously haven't been able to control it. Once I bring up the blank page I get a headache and just sart typing...and everything goes foggy to me.

This is me...at 3. Silly I know. This was hard, typing this little bit. I had to work hard to type semi legibly...the three yr old me was just confused by the letters, and hit them randomly a lot. But I'm sure you can get something from what I was able to get through, from what she feels.

**T**

Let me explain the jibberish that came outta me; My real dad beat me, punched me in the face/head a lot. Made my lip bleed and caused my retina in my left eye to get detached. He also threatened to throw me outside for the dogs to eat me. All I wanted was my grandma(who adopted me at 5)

The rest is jibberish. Sorry if this is stupid. Couldn't have her type much, it was too hard to get her message across.

Brwn…dogs…htrt…daddy scares me,

dskkkkkffkkdlskaffffffffffffI want gammy….bleeddd…lips…ow..ow.owowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowwowowoowowowowowowowowowoowowowowowowowowowowowow

bbbbewfdsaef

no darkm no, man comes. Bites me. Owowowowoowowooww

eye hrtrt ow hurt. So som sosooso scaredc byyyyyyyyyy

Oh God I don’t know what to say. I just wanna hug each of them.:-( They’re inside of me. But its so hard to let them speak. I have a major headache now. I’m gonna go relax I think. This might seem silly, but it was so weird. Like I was taken back to each time. Each pain. Sorry for being silly.

I’ll post again later when I can talk to them.

Edited by jaded_chaos

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that was such an accident i didnt realise it was posting so many times

Edited by MiseryOnlyWhispers

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Does she always have to be so difficult?

Lil girl where are you?

I’m calling out your name

Rachy? Rachy? Rachy?

Make a sound for me please

So I know where you are

****Phew****

There you are

Come out of that closet now

He’s gone

We’ve grown up, you missed it

I’m sorry your childhood is totally over

Let me get this pile of heavy clothes off you

You were always so smart for hiding here

****smile****

Don’t look at me so scared

We’re big girls now

Get up and lets go

Come with me to our life

Its ok no ones here now

They’ve left all left

This house is empty

Abandoned of the past

No mother no father and no brother

Its empty I promise I do

I don’t know how you got stuck here for so long

I’m here to rescue you

GET UP AND COME ON NOW!!!

You aren’t glued to that damn floor

You’re really frustrating me now

Oh what???

Now your going cry?

That’s great just great

I’m counting to 5

Then I’m closing you back in this closet

1

HURRY UP

2

I WILL LEAVE YOU KNOW THIS

3

WHATEVER YOU ALWAYS WERE STUBBORN

4

YOU’RE ASKING FOR IT

5

FINE BYE

****slams closet door***

***hears whimpering and walks away***

post-2475-1145913828_thumb.jpg

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*rescues lil girl from closet*

can she play with us, rachy?

my lil mel is very lonely.. i haven't been talking to her much, she needs someone to play with

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if shed ever get out i suppose she could...at least just recently ive been able to talk to her but only after puting her in the closet rather than the garage...she still has never responded...lol i feel so phsycotic...i never look her in the eye...why do i feel like such a faliure when it comes to her?

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Is the idea of the inner child only for people who were abused as a child?

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Inner child:

"You suck, your art sucks, your jewellery sucks, your life sucks, everything about you sucks!"

Me;

"I know"

*sigh*

Edited by Daydreamer

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Guest Dawn
Is the idea of the inner child only for people who were abused as a child?

Im not really sure, on that one.... but someone else may know.

take care

Dawn

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I would say we all have an inner child - hehe and I am the one always denighing mine!!

karen

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The idea of the little girl inside of me has been brought up in therapy with the two therapists I've had; however, the only time I can get a hold of my inner child is when I'm actually having a body flashback and can get to a piece of paper and a pen. She likes to write, I know this; I always did enjoy it and when I "come back" the writing is big, loopy, just like it was before and I can see she was trying to tell me something; that she's still hurting, that I'm not doing whatever I can to help her and that I'm hurting her. I try to find her during regular, functioning days and she's still hiding - how do I find her? I can see that she does have an impact on what I do in my every day life sometimes; like when I call off work because something (or someone) is telling me I need to stay in bed until mid-afternoon and then eat popcorn in front of the television and watch the movies I used to love. I did that yesterday and it felt amazing and it should have felt like we bonded or something, but after the calling off and the long bath and the relaxing, I still couldn't get her to come out. Maybe I just need to dedicate more time to finding her, or maybe she doesn't want to be found.

Little Holly,

I'm sorry. I know you're still hurting and I know I have to do something to help you feel better about everything, but I don't know what. I'm still so confused about it all and while the years pass by I only grow more confused and the events only get more hazy and tend to run together. Give me a chance to show you I can work on this, to help fix us both. Come out more often, don't be scared - there's nothing to be scared of anymore, I promise. No one is going to hurt you like they used to and I know you've heard this all before but this time I know it's true. I won't let anyone hurt you again, you just have to trust me.

Always,

19-year-old Holly

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*sigh* i dont know...feels like mines disappeared :blink:

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