tealight rookie

The Inner Child Thread

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I don't even know if I have an inner child...

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I don't even know if I have an inner child...

Just keep listening hon. She'll let you know when she's ready.

:hug: Ruthie

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Dear Little one,

What a rough life we seem to be having right now.... why is it that life is never static?. suddenly we think that we are getting on to the straight and narrow and then wham something comes along and kncks us back completely.

For a few days i felt that you had gone into hiding, i don't blame you for that because i also felt like going into hiding.

The burden of living is too hard right now.

I don't want to be me, you don't want to be you. amd i think were both running scared.....

and this time i don't have the answers or the strength to help you or me. :tear:

Dawn

Edited by Dawn

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for those of you that don't know I named my inner child {Rain is proud}

her name is winnie the whiner: this is what I want to say to her ,

I am going through a really hard time AS is my support system cuz my hubby sure the hell isn't. So I come here day after day after day, part of me wants to stop coming, part me doesn't because there are people on her I actually care about. Then winnie decides to pop her weak little soul into my life, opening up, trusting Beth my T, trying to help me see the good side of my marriage, yea things were better when you were gone I was protected, I was guarded. but now I have open wounds that I can't seem to freakin heal because you had to come out. Well I say get the f*** away from me your weak, pathetic, sensitive, sorry butt needs to leave me alone. I really do hate you winnie, your supposed to be all innocent and sweet and loving, and your not. I want to get in touch with you about as much as I want to put a sword through my eye. Then Ruthie had to start this thread, and your azz had to be curious and read it and now here I am writing a freakin letter to something that doesn't exist because she is too pathetic to survive.

OMG why am I writing a letter to someone I don't evn believe in I think I have really lost it. :insane:

Heather

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*Trigger*

No offence people but this is what I think of my inner child .

My inner child is dead . I buried her in the yarra river along with the pills I intended to take a few weeks ago . She exists of nothing but unpleasant memories. The inner child who was hurt is now gone forever . I am a person who can now protect herself . I am not her anymore, I am no longer a timid kid but a fighter - I fought against the odds and I am seeing what I can really do with my potential now . I mourn her lost childhood but I cannot not dwell on it anymore - the past is long gone by and I shouldn't allow the memory of abuse to rule my life anymore - it is getting exhaustive . I am my own child , I am my own fighter and I rule my own destiny and future.

Edited by Karma

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Inner child,

It's okay, your safe!

That's all I want to say. Just felt I needed to tell her that.... and myself.

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Great idea Ruthie!

i'm not ready to say much to mine for now. I feel that i've only really connected with her only once, and to be honest, i've been keeping her silent since.

i'm not ready yet...but this thread surely will keep this in my mind,

***hugs to everybody***

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To my inner child:

Last night you had such a strange night, didnt you? Things came rushing through your head, what happened to you when you were small and so unsure of life. All you wanted then was to find some comfort and love. You never questioned anything, you only accepted...you were so innocent! Then you started to find your feet again, you believed in yourself, you became strong yet never told anybody about how much you were hurting.....

Never did I think this will have such an impact in your life, so many years have passed. Yet, I know you want to be forever happy, young at heart. That movie upset you last night. Beaches, with Bette Midler....you surpressed ''other'' memories too, that of losing the best friend you ever had. It was her favourite movie and the two of you watched it together, laughing and crying together. And last night, you remembered, and you cried for the first time in years. You miss your friend, and so do I. I wish I allowed you to cry when you needed to, I wish that I could have told you time will heal the hurt of losing somebody só precious and important in your life. But instead I turned a blind eye and tried to carry on with life as if nothing happened. WHy didnt I ever listen to you???? I am so sorry for being such a terrible person...

:(

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little mel,

it's ok honey. you were crying before, scared that the men would hurt you again. but i promise. NO ONE is going to hurt you ever again. i am bigger and stronger now, i can protect you. we will do lots of fun things together and i will make you feel safe again. i promise.

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Today i wanna tell my inner child thats its ok and im proud of her. I still find this thread hard but i really like the idea of it :)

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It's really hard for me to talk to my inner child, but she's really scared and unsure right now, and I can feel her vulnerability. I wish I could just gather her up and let her feel safe. She doesn't trust me, though, I really think she thinks I can't protect her.

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I think my inner child is dead :sadang:

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Daydreamer :hug:

I think my inner child is dead
:hug:

I also think my inner child may be dead, or she is hiding pretty damm hard ~ maybe i will try and find her later

take care

Dawn :wub:

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I feel weird.

Little Bee just wrote a letter. Suddenly. I knew she was feeling talkative, as she started saying things to me on the bus on the way back from therapy. She'd seen Hilary's next client there and it upset her.

So when I got home I made her some orange juice and let her sit at my computer.

However, I was not expecting what she wrote.

I think she's letting me share it.

Dear mummy,

Ruth wanted me to write her a letter. But I wanted to write one to you really. She is very scared of you I think, but I’m not. I have some orange juice with a straw. Actually two straws because I couldn’t decide whether to have a pink one or an orange one. So I had both. And Ruth is cross now because she wanted me to write a letter to her that she could take to Hilary on Thursday. Hilary is her therapist by the way, but Ruth doesn’t want you to know about that because she is a scaredy-cat but I don’t really care.

You sometimes did silly things and I liked that. But Ruth is very serious and makes me talk about nasty things and that makes me worry that you will go away. Ruth couldn’t care less if you went away. She wants you to go away because she hates you. But I don’t hate you I don’t think. Ruth wants Hilary to be her new mummy, and that makes me scared too and confused because I don’t know how you can have two mummys.

I think that the reason there was someone else there today is because Hilary is getting fed up with Ruth being serious all the time and so has found a new girl to take her place because she might be more fun. And that is a real shame because I would like to have fun with Hilary. I’d like to play with crayons and paints and maybe in the sand. But of course we can’t do that because Ruth wants to talk about all the boring serious stuff. And also the stuff that makes me feel icky. But I don’t want to talk about the icky stuff now. I think I just put that there because Ruth wanted me to and so I did because she has been kind to me for a change and has made me orange juice and is allowing me to sit at her computer and write this letter. She looks really funny though. I could pull her hair and make her look even more silly. And then she would be really cross.

Anyway, I know Ruth won’t let me send this letter. She’ll say we have to bring it in to Hilary on Thursday instead. But never mind. Now she is telling me to stop.

Bye.

Little Bee (I don’t know why she calls me that, but it’s okay)

:blink::unsure::blink::unsure::blink:

I'm feeling completely freaked out, actually. Why the hell did she want to write to our mother? The thought of her sending a letter like that to our mother is f*cking terrifying. I need to give myself some time to think about all of this.

Ruthie

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My inner child isn't saying much these days. I hope I haven't upset her. Maybe she's sleeping. I would like to hug her.

:hug:

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My inner child isn't saying much these days. I hope I haven't upset her. Maybe she's sleeping. I would like to hug her.

:hug:

(((((rainbow and rainbows inner child)))))

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

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Hello ladies,

This concept is very new to me. I was just reading some of your posts and many of them made me cry...which unfortunately isn't very easy to do. I am not sure how to feel about this and it makes me a bit fearful for some reason. I think I will have to come back here after I have taken some time to process it.

It seems incredible.

Thank you for this! :hug:

Becky

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:hug: Becky im the same, i write a sentence when i dare.

Today i wanna tell my inner child that on one pants note everything is falling apart, but at least that means things can only get better

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Haven't been here in a while, i have quite probably been neglecting my inner child, in fact last time i posted here i felt she was dead..... well i found her again, and right now we are both doing okay.

Dear little one

I am feeling okay right now, and that makes me really happy. The last few days we have both been rather brave and taken steps that have led us into the unknown again. We went back into counselling, and although we don't have Lisa this time we do have Katie. I know how much you liked Lisa and how she made you feel all warm and safe inside, but hopefully we will get that feeling with Katie to....we could certanly give it a chance couldn't we?. I really don't like the place that we are having the counselling, of all places it had to be in a doctors surgery, that really raises my anxiety levels so i know that we are probably more nervous than we normally would be...but im willing to give it a go, and this time i would really like to be able to listen to what you want to say in the counselling process too.

we also had those job interviews today, god i was so nervous...contemplating working again is real scary but we have to do it, so that we can have a decent standard of life...the nurseries we saw were nice, and i have good feelings about them.... hopefully our future is beggining to improve, what do you think?

Dawn :wub:

Dear Dawn

I am glad that your feeling okay, i am feeling okay too. I had a bad nightmare the other night, but of course you know about that, and you did try to comfort me so its okay.

The counselling is scary, and my tummy had the wobbles when we first went, Katie is nice, i think, but she isn't Lisa and i really miss Lisa...How do we know that we can trust Katie? ~ i guess i will let you decide that. I may talk to Katie, but right now i am nervous of her. I don't like it being in the doctors it makes me real uncomfortable, maybe you could tell katie how you feel about that.

I wonder what you want to find out from counselling, do you really want me to talk, im not sure what to say, i really don't want to hurt you, but i am fed up hiding and maybe now we should talk properly about things...what do you think?

~ love always, little one

~ well my inner child and myself are both putting the 'balls' back into each others courts... i get the feeling that right now neither one of us wants to makea decision about what to do next..... strangely enough im okay with that....kind of a 'what will be, will be' attitude right now....and that feels fine.

Dawn

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My little girl has been really distant. Sometimes I wonder if I am suppose to let her go, live in peace and just let her go....but then it feels dark and lonely and we come rushing back to one another.

We're both very exhausted. I feel like I can take on K, which I know is coming my way. At the same time, she's tired tired tired.

Its a tough time of the year for us too. Lost a lot of really close people to us. One she knew, his name was Jason. I graduated with him in High school (a few years ago), but we grew up together since grade school. He taught her how to draw flowers. She likes to color, paint, write love notes to her friends.....nobody knows its her though. She likes to stay hidden in the shadows where I can keep her safe.

I feel so disconnected to her lately and that makes me really sad....I don't feel complete without her.

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As stated before I don't really have an inner child, every time she tries to emerge she gets hurt therefore I refuse to let her out. There is so much pain and hurt she can't breathe, therefore needing my protection. So I will protect her because that is my job as an adult she wasn't protected before and now she is.

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Daydreamer, thanks for the hugs! You're a sweetie! Here's some for you and your inner child:

:hug::hug::hug:

Edited by rainbowstar

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Rainbow: I know. I'm not very good at this am I?

inner child: No

Edited by rainbowstar

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my inner child is majorly pissed off with me today and i haven't got a clue what i did wrong :unsure:

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