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The Inner Child Thread

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dear little me,

i can sense you peaking out from behind me in a tentative and hopeful stance. You are safe. We are ok. we survived. now to live.

what do YOU want to do? :)

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Don't be afraid. I'm trying to help you. I am here for you. And I love you. Don't be afraid to cry, for it is healing. Don't be afraid to reach out, for it is growth. Don't be afraid to share, for it is bravery. Don't be afraid to feel, for it is strength.

My dear little one, you have the strength, bravery, growth, and healing right inside of you, you just haven't didcovered it yet. I am with you every step of the way.

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This is a great thread!

When my wife and I first fell in love, both of us were coming out of bad previous marriages. She dumped on me our second night. She told me what she had done in her adult life and I told her that EVERY experience in her life made her the woman that I loved NOW (and still do). then she told me what had happened to her as a child.

She offered me the guilt, she offered me the shame...she "came clean" in her mind. The more we talked, the more she began to weep and the more I began to weep.

On some level, you must know that I was offended...not by what was done to that sweet, sweet child, but offended by what that adult woman did to that sweet little girl. She (the woman) abandoned that little tiny girl...the one who couldn't fend for herself...the one who still hid in the closet so that "Uncle Jack" couldn't find her. The little girl who was still seeking approval the little girl who just wanted to be loved...like a little girl!

So I asked Ter, if you saw a little girl like that now...RIGHT NOW!, what would you do to her? She said, if I ever saw a girl like that I'd grab her in my arms and never let her go. I'd never let anyone hurt her ever again... and after a long pause, I said "Yeah, me too."

Terri began to forgive herself that day, but it took 10 (ten) years before she could look in the photo album and feel more than disgust. For years, I wanted to see the cute little blonde girl that became my beautiful buxom brunette but she would have none of it.

She was nearly fourty years old before she looked at that same photo that we had looked at for so many years and finally saw the sweet little blonde girl that I had always seen, she had finally forgiven herself, the child that she had been.

She reminds me often these days, that I am much less than the "perfect man" but I know that even if she divorced me tomorrow, I could be happy for her, for she would leave me as a whole person and that little blonde girl...well, she'll always have a place where she belongs, in Terri's heart.

MadDad

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:cry::cry: how do i let her out,how do i let her heal?

she is so sad,in so much pain.....

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(((Annabel))) I forced mine in front of my face, yelled at her and called her awful names like the monster did, then I told her how great she is. She is still hurting, and her adult wants to be her again and start all over. This can never be, and that's what hurts the most.

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(((((((My Sweet Friend Luvy)))))))

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little luv hates how much we're having to pretend again. thank you for your help, found.

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Anytime Luvy. I will always be here for you. Whatever you need. :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

Found

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she just wants to be left alone. she wants to go hide away so that she can be okay again.

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You are special.

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dear little me,

you were so brave today, and i am so proud of you. today we won. silent no more. believed.

i am wrapping my warm and loving arms around you in a huge hug that will last the night as we sleep. in the morning i will hold your hand as we walk through the day. never alone again. i promise.

love,

me.

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My spiritual Daddy wants to introduce me to a gal that has been thru the same things as I have. But the inner child is way too scared. Any advice? I think I should do it, but I don't think I can. :cry::cry::cry:

Sadly,

Found

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kimmy you didn't deserve what happened to you. you deserved to be treated with love, care and respect. you were so strong and brave, always smiling through the fear. so resiliant and loving. i'm proud of you little girl, and i love you very much.

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my inner child is feeling alone, ashamed and guilty and just really really bad.

my precious child, you are not alone. i am always here. your feelings, your anger, your rage, your sadness and grief, your love, your pleasure, it is all ok. they are just feelings. they will come and go. they are not who you are. you are beautiful and innocent. what dad did is not your fault. not your fault. even when it felt good, it was not your fault. even when you looked forward to him, it was not your fault. His guilt, his shame, not yours.

you deserve to be loved and cared for. not used and abused. i am sorry you are so confused.

i love you. always. you are safe with me. feel whatever you need to feel, and be safe with me.

with loving respect and affection,

me.

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so what happens if your inner-child runs your life? My inner-child is stubborn and always wants to do kid things. Sometimes I have to push her away just so I can have some adult time, but I often feel guilty for it. My inner-child lives through me everyday and hardly ever rests. I can't keep a job because of her and I was unable to finish school....honestly, I hate my inner-child. She embarrasses me and makes grown-ups not like me either. My friends stop hanging out with me because my inner-child thinks she wants to have sex with most of my "adult friends"(females) and it scares them. I want my inner-child to go away and leave me alone

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dear little me,

you were so brave today, and i am so proud of you. today we won. silent no more. believed.

i am wrapping my warm and loving arms around you in a huge hug that will last the night as we sleep. in the morning i will hold your hand as we walk through the day. never alone again. i promise.

love,

me.

this is so sweet! God bless you and your "little one" You sound like you love her. She's going to be okay, and so are you... :)

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umm my inner child has had a roller coaster of emotions today and i just want to say that it is going to be okay and that i love her very much.

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Don't give up little one.

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Dear little me,

i hear how angry you are, and i want you to know it is ok. you have every right to be furious, angry beyond your words, as i know you are. i feel it. i hear it. i know how hard it must be to feel so mad at dad. to love him and hate him at the same time. i know that is hard and it is so brave of you to say it, to feel it, to scream it if you have to. when you speak, i can almost feel you stomping your feet, in pure rage, becuase you dont know what else to do with all that anger. keep saying it. keep getting it out. you dont have to live with it anymore. you deserve better. you are safe now, little one. i believe you. i am listening to you. and holding you as you move through the pain.

i love you little one.

love,

me.

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What's a good way to learn to love your inner-child instead of hating her and pushing her aside all the time?

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spend time with her...

I watched children, first other peoples, then my own. They are innocent. so was i. a fact, even if i dont always feel it, it has to be true. so, then i deserve love, just like other children. I read about doing inner child re-parenting - visualizing myself holding my child-self (pictures helped at first) in my arms, and saying the nurturing things i wanted to hear, needed to hear, or, i think in the beggining, i just said what any other reasonable adult might have said, what i might say, to a child who has been hurt: I love you. it is not your fault. you are safe. i will take care of you. even if i didnt feel it i said it. and i was honest. i would say, "i dont feel much, but you are safe", etc. with practice, the compassion for myself came. mindful meditation helps. as does right hand left hand writting. (ask a question with your dominant hand, in writting. write a response with non dominant. ) i have used this alot to ask questions - like what do you need, how can i help - of my inner child. sounds corney, hokey, all that, i know. but it works.

Edited by ladybug2

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Dear little one, you didn't do anything wrong.

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Please don't cry little Sarah, please don't cry. I feel your sadness I do. Your tears are my tears, your loneliness is my loneliness, please dont cry.

Who will take care of you when I can't? Will care for you when nobody will care for me? Please don't ask me to take care of you, please don't ask me to hug you. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to make you cry. I'm sorry little Sarah. I'm sorry. I wish you could have your childhood, I wish your pain woldn't hurt so much, I wish we could be free.

You are not going to let me stop listening to you, but don't you see little Sarah, I don't want to hear you anymore. I don't want to see your tears anymore, because your tears are my tears and they hurt.

I'm sorry Little One, I'm sorry Little Sarah.

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spend time with her...

I watched children, first other peoples, then my own. They are innocent. so was i. a fact, even if i dont always feel it, it has to be true. so, then i deserve love, just like other children. I read about doing inner child re-parenting - visualizing myself holding my child-self (pictures helped at first) in my arms, and saying the nurturing things i wanted to hear, needed to hear, or, i think in the beggining, i just said what any other reasonable adult might have said, what i might say, to a child who has been hurt: I love you. it is not your fault. you are safe. i will take care of you. even if i didnt feel it i said it. and i was honest. i would say, "i dont feel much, but you are safe", etc. with practice, the compassion for myself came. mindful meditation helps. as does right hand left hand writting. (ask a question with your dominant hand, in writting. write a response with non dominant. ) i have used this alot to ask questions - like what do you need, how can i help - of my inner child. sounds corney, hokey, all that, i know. but it works.

thanks! I will try

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Those things should have never happened to you.

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