The Inner Child Thread

[Firedancer4]

I guess I should add something here.... but I'm kinda with ((heathbar)). I feel like mine died years ago and my T telling me to go out and buy some ice cream to nurture my "little girl" only pisses me off. I don't feel like she exists. How am I supposed to nurture her when she isn't there??? I dunno.

I have a 7-year old daughter who I don't know how to play with. That pisses me off. I was her age when my SA started (that was the earliest memory I've had so far). I can't even relate to her. I criticize her too much because something inside me wants her to be tougher than she is so SHE won't be abused! But she's such a loving, sensitive girl with the biggest heart. I feel like a horrible mother sometimes - I know I'm too hard on her. I don't even know what's normal for a child. How they should behave. How quickly do they grow into bigger emotions. I expect her to handle much more than I'm sure she should. I've made her cry because I've expected too much. I don't know what's right. But I know I'm wrong. Sometimes I just feel all wrong.....I don't know how to be a parent because I don't know how to be a child. Because my inner girl is dead, I feel like a stupid idiot when it comes to my own daughters. Ohhhhhh......

[Guest voiceless000]

Dear Fire,

I don't have any children of my own yet, but concerning the inner child problem, I understand your feeling like you do. Till today I couldn't find my inner child as well. Think it has something to do with regression.

Wish I had the answers to your situation, but I might be able to help you out on some reading material references. These are only 3 titles of books I know of that might mean something to you once you've read one or more of them:

* How to Love Yourself When You Don't Know How: Healing All Your Inner Children... by Jacqui Bishop

* Forgiveness/Loving the Inner Child by Hay Louise L.

* Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child by Paul, Margaret

I truly hope this might help you.

Strongs and thinking of you

Voiceless

[Firedancer4]

Thanks Voiceless. I'll definitely look into those books. And honestly, thanks for your response. I've been feeling pretty invisible lately..... I needed that.

[mobius]

Hello, Little Me:

You bless the world with your light. People will try to steal it from you. You will not let them. It will be a battle that seems endless but you will never stop fighting because you are an Amazon Goddess and they are nothing but litter that floats in the sea of your life.

You are the inside secret that I treasure.

We are one at last.

Edited July 25, 2007 by mobius

[blossums]

Today my inner child feels wordlessly full of rage and confusion and hatred.

I want to say to her that i am sorry.

[jaded_chaos]

Alone and very angry. Thats how she feels.

Rage that she only takes out on herself.

Still does.

I wish I could help her, and me

[the_lioness]

Great thread.

My inner child is 7 years old and relates to the characters she reads about in books, but feels alone even when she's in a crowded room.

My inner child's name is Hannah. And he feels like her name-- no beginning and no end. She just is, and she doesn't know why.

Hannah and I don't like eachother: but we do love eachother. Hannah is afraid of the hard shell Elle has. She senses that Elle can't trust. Hannah doesn't understand how quickly and easily she trusts. She doesn't get that she can't possibly be loved as much as her older brother. Hannah is afraid of death. Elle is afraid of life.

Hannah feels left out today. She thinks that maybe if she helps enough people then maybe God will forgive her for being a bad little girl.

Elle wants to tell Hannah that she is brave. And that she should know that her parents really do love her.

Hannah wants to tell Elle to listen better. And that she looks like a princess.

[angelic]

These days my inner child is sad and lonely. What I want to say to her is: I am so sorry he hurt you, I wish I could have made him stop.

[valkara51]

I've just recently realized my inner child is here with me. It came kind of as a epiphany and i'm still feeling very awkward about the whole situation.

She's a little girl, about 6 or 7 and I would see her by a lake with lotus flowers and cherry blossom trees (I actually designed a future tattoo with this scene and she adopted it) but it's very dark there. I realized how she's very sad... i felt sad thinking about her.

At first, only about a month ago, I didn't know how to really talk to her. I knew she was me, the little girl that was taken advantage of by her father... she was the part of my mind that went away to deal with the pain, confusion and anger of it all. But she got stuck, and has affected my life ever since.

When she comes out through me... sometimes when i ask her to, sometimes when my therapist talks to her... and especially when my boyfriend talks to her, i feel her sadness, anger, frustration so strongly. I feel her weak and tired.

But i'm learning, slowly and with absolutely no clue, to nurture her. To show her that unconditional love that I never got when i really was her age. To show her it's ok now, no one will hurt her... i will not allow it! She's safe with me... and we're working to help her feel safe with my boyfriend (although the feelings that are blossoming from that are very hard to deal with).

Reading all your posts are so very helpful. I thank everyone for sharing on this topic past and future. I'm sure i'll post more, but Puka (my inner child) needs to finish watching Star Wars and get her mind off of this for the rest of the night.

Thanks everyone

[nika]

my inner child is waking up. i want to murder her...but i cant so i locked her up

[LuthienTinuviel]

to my inner children.

i hate you...

to me from them: we hate you too..

[valkara51]

My inner child (Puka): Don't hate me, i didnt do anything wrong

Me to her: I know Puka... you didn't. And i don't hate you. *big hug* But you've got to calm down sweety, your making my heart hurt and my head all fuzzy.

Puka: I'm sorry, i dont mean to. It just hurts, and i'm afraid i'll make him go away

Me: He wont go away, i promise.. he loves you, and he loves me. Your worth his love, he's told us that. You just have to believe him, and trust that he doesn't have it in him to hurt you... i made sure of that when i picked him.

Puka: *hangs head*

Me: *hug* it's going to be ok.

[jaded_chaos]

My inner child doesn't like it when my boyfriend laughs at her. She'll find the courage to come out and he just thinks its funny. But she's scared! He doesn't take her seriously she thinks. He does. But.....well thats why she hides inside most of the time. Its impossible explaining anything to her. I guess maybe I don't take her seriously enough either :533:

[shelfies]

My inner child is afraid. She is afraid of people because they always hurt her and she hasn't learned how to stand up for herself yet. She feels way too vulnerable and weak. She is afraid of confrontation so she just goes away.

[brokenangel21]

my inner child is a little girl, about 8 or 9, and in a dark room hiding because she is sad and scared. she's afraid of what people will do to her or say to her....how and when they're going to hurt her. the only time she can come out....really come out which is through me, is when i'm by herself or with my therapist. and slowly i'm learning ways to take care of her and listen to her and help her find her voice.

[probably]

My inner child is little, scared, hurt .... me... naked most the time....shiking in a corner. Today she feels worse than usually....rejected, more scared, sad...not wanting to fight for this life anymore. I wanna come to her, hug her, comfort her, dress her, hold her, let her cry .....tell her I love her so much and want to take care of her.....but....I CANNOT

[nowuwant2nome]

to my inner child:

I want to hug you and never let go

No one will ever hurt you again

It is not your fault

You are beautiful

I LOVE You

[Alicia]

I'm sorry.

[kimbees324]

I'm so sorry I let you down and am not able to be what you need to be. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.

[angelic]

I am sorry you dont feel safe at the moment. I will try to make it better

[Tainted Angel]

My inner child just wants to say that she's hurt and scared.

But I love her.

Edited March 20, 2008 by Tainted Angel

[Aayla]

Mine just crys. Sometimes she tries to get attention she wants to cream at the world what happened but I refuse to let her out.

[angelic]

I'm so so sorry

[probably]

:sor: :sor:

[~*chelsea*~]

to my inner child: i am sorry for everything that i have put you through in the past! all i want to do is hug you and hold you close to me and close to my heart!! i love you!