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New, And A Bit Scared To Face My Demons


echantell

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Conventional therapy has not helped me so I'm giving AS a try. About two years ago I gathered enough courage to tell my family what my adopted father/grandfather had done to me when I was younger. He was my father because he raised me, but he was my grandfather because he was my biological mother's adopted father. My story is a long and complicated one, but to keep it short I no longer have a family. They said things like "I believe it happened to you but I don't think you know who really did it.", "It's just so hard to believe, he raised you and loves you so much." "There are worse things that could have happened to you, at least he took care of you."

My confession brought out their true colors and It confirmed my worst fear, the reason I held on to the secret for years. No one would believe me. I have broken contact with my family, it was to painful to hear their doubt and to see the happy family photos and vacations they were all taking together as If I never told them...

None of my friends know my story, I don't want people to look or think of me differently because of my past. I wouldn't even know how to start that conversation..

I wish I could just forget..

Thanks for listening

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Hello echantell, welcome. You are not alone. I'm sorry you experienced abuse. It was not fair. It was not your fault.

This group on-line is a good source of support. There is a lot of information you can read. Have you read the book "The Courage to Heal" by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass? It is a good book. You can find it on-line or in public libraries.

You were very courageous to tell your family. I'm sorry they have not been supportive. I hope you have good friends. Pets?

It makes me angry when people excuse offenders :tantrum:

Healing is a journey and takes time. Healing is possible. You deserve to have a good life. We cannot erase the past but we have a present. What gives meaning to your life now? What do you want to stand for in life?

:youcanheal::notalone::supportu:

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Hello echantell,

Welcome to AS. I am so very sorry for the abuse that you have suffered and even more sorry that you were brave enough to speak the truth and not receive the support you deserve. It wasn't right and wasn't fair. Just know that you are believed here and we will always support you. The members here are truly understanding, having a variety of different, but similar stories. You are not alone. We all walk this healing path together, and I wish you luck on your healing journey.

:notalone:

Mary

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Hello echantell,

Welcome to AS. I am so very sorry for the abuse that you have suffered and even more sorry that you were brave enough to speak the truth and not receive the support you deserve. It wasn't right and wasn't fair. Just know that you are believed here and we will always support you. The members here are truly understanding, having a variety of different, but similar stories. You are not alone. We all walk this healing path together, and I wish you luck on your healing journey.

:notalone:

Mary

Hello echantell, welcome. You are not alone. I'm sorry you experienced abuse. It was not fair. It was not your fault.

This group on-line is a good source of support. There is a lot of information you can read. Have you read the book "The Courage to Heal" by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass? It is a good book. You can find it on-line or in public libraries.

You were very courageous to tell your family. I'm sorry they have not been supportive. I hope you have good friends. Pets?

It makes me angry when people excuse offenders :tantrum:

Healing is a journey and takes time. Healing is possible. You deserve to have a good life. We cannot erase the past but we have a present. What gives meaning to your life now? What do you want to stand for in life?

:youcanheal::notalone::supportu:

:aswelcomesu::youcanheal::notalone::bighug: if OK

Thank you for your words of encouragement. Dealing with the abuse itself is a struggle and my family's response has caused me to regress in my healing. More flashbacks, sleepless nights and doubting myself. I have a very supportive boyfriend and his family has shown me more love than i could ask for. But they don't know what it feels like to walk around everyday with this burden, and I would never want them to. I need people that really know what I have gone through and will always have to deal with. I have made it my life's mission to not let my past shape me or control me (in a negative way). I have a great life right now with my pets (chickens, dogs and a tortoise) my boy friend and my job. I'm a dance teacher and dance has always been my therapy, its such a great way to express my emotions when words fail me and now I can share that with others.

What are your methods of healing?

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hello echantell,

welcome to After Silence, my name is Paula and i'm one of the newbie support team here, I hope you are finding your way around the board okay, if you need any help or have any questions, please contact me or one of the team,. we will do our best to help.

take care,

Paula :hi:

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  • 2 weeks later...

So sorry about your family. I'm a dancer, too. It does help. Keeps me more even when it comes it substance use. I was sexually assaulted multiple times as an adult, no doubt my fault doing "sex work light". When I told my family what a particular family member had done, one that was known to offend against children and adults, yet was protected from ANY consequences, they expressed great skepticism because of my age. My mom also didn't believe me about my adult rape. Only when psychiatric symptoms landed me in the hospital did my mom express any regret on not believing me. Secrets are so hard when you are honest by nature, then you feel so fake for going along with it, but what else can you do? What you did is very brave, I am here if you want or need to chat. :unsure:

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