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Hello, El Here :)

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Hi After Silence Community,

I am a physics student from the UK, and am not actually a victim myself but I guess I'm a supporter in the shape of my girlfriend. We haven't been going out for too long but I'm a very committed person and wish to help support her as best I can. I want to provide the best help for her possible, but I guess her past experiences have impacted our relationship a little and I want to understand the best way I can be a supportive boyfriend.

I think reading your stories and asking questions about how sexual violence effects people will help me to understand her better and improve our relationship and help her to recover from it.

It's a very hectic time for her too as she has just found out of further sexual abuse within her extended family, along with the typical work stressors, so I need to really be my most supportive that I can be.

Thanks and I look forward to interacting with you lovely people,


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Welcome to AS (After Silence) :hi:

I hope you will find the "secondary survivors" forum to be helpful with what you are going through in supporting your girlfriend. Remember of course that nobody here is an "expert" but we come together as people to support each other, so though none of us can tell you exactly what to do we can tell you what has helped us or worked for us and support you along the way too!

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Hi El,

Welcome to AS. Your girlfriend is very lucky to have you. Sometimes it's not easy for others to understand, but being willing to try is wonderful of you. Support is wonderful, and as long as you don't push too hard, I think you could be a great asset to your girlfriends healing. As Ally said, none of us are experts, but we might be able to share some of our own experiences and they may help in figuring out how the best way for you to support her.


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Welcome to AS, El! It's great when partners wish to be as supportive as possible towards their significant others.

You'll find a wide range of experiences, thoughts on here that will be of great help to you I believe. It'll be of great significance/assistance to your girlfriend to know that you simply care and want to help her, that helps even more than you know. As ActivistAlly said, "secondary survivors" forum would be a great place for you to look at. Best of luck to you and your girlfriend, and your journey together.

- Courtney

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