Hi There

[Kindofblue]

Hi folks

Don't know why it's taken me all this time to look for a supportive forum - I'm on several forums on other subjects and find them very useful.

Perhaps it's because I'm pretty well over the abuse I suffered as a teenager. I can talk about it to friends and family (only in the past few years - my wife has known about it for many years), but I've never told anyone the full story.

A bit about me: I'm in my late seventies, and 99% of the time I'm perhaps one of the happiest people around. I have a loving wife and family, with 4 grandchildren; I have a strong network of friends I see regularly; I have a part-time teaching job (6 hrs per week); I do a couple of hours voluntary work a week; and I love cooking and trying out new ideas (I'm a vegan, which forces you to think outside the box! )

I'm in perfect health, I exercise daily and I fast once a week. In short, I feel like a forty-year-old - a fit forty-year-old!

As I said, I'm very happy; I'm optimistic and I just love people and want the best for them.

And yet...

Every now and again - if the subject comes up and I disclose the fact that I was abused from the age of 11 (and I do feel it is important to be open about this), to friends say, the fact that I'm unable to be completely honest, bothers me a little. I still feel a sense of shame - could I have stopped it earlier?

My fear is that I will be judged for not withdrawing from the abuse when I reached 16 and allowing it to continue. (Until I was posted overseas with the RAF at the age of 19.)

I realise this is small beer, compared to some of the terrible things others on this forum have suffered - my heart goes out to every single one of you!

[reglois]

if OK from one oldie to another

[strongereachday]

hey welcome to AS I hope you find it helpful. I'm new here and I have find the people here very supportive

[MeBeMary]

Hi Kindofblue,

Welcome to AS. I'm sorry that you have suffered abuse as a child. It is hard to shake the shame, I know, but we have to keep remembering the shame always goes to the abuser. Also, realize that trauma is trauma and a everyone should and has the right to heal. This site opens their hearts to everyone. It is nice to know that you are happy and optimistic most of the time. Hopefully this site can help you during the rough patches. I wish you well.

Mary

[Sierra01]

Hi, sorry to hear about your story, I am also looking to be open about what happened to me. I wish you all the best.

[ActivistAlly]

Welcome to AS (After Silence)

I hope you will find AS to be a good site to help you as you deal with coming to terms with the traumatic events of your past.

Strength to you,

Activist Ally