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A Little Nervous


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Hi, I'm gonna go by the name of Sapphire. I'm really nervous about joining a forum for my past experiences. The guy I am seeing now, is the furthest thing from an abuser; but at the same time also doesn't understand what I have gone through, and doesn't understand how to help me. So he suggested I check out a forum of some sort to try and figure out my feelings etc. I will share my story later tonight, when I have a chance to process what I am going to explain, and the multiple situations that I need to express. Please, bear with me, as most of my posts may not make sense and they may be a bit confusing. I'm lost, and it's starting to affect my relationship with this amazing man I am seeing.

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Hi, welcome Sapphire..

My name is Sthefany but you can call me Nia, I'm new too. I'm going to share my story later too.

I hope you find this forum as a relief as i do yesterday. I had doubt about this but i need help too.

Remember that we all support each other.

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Hi Nia, I saw your intro post. Thank you. Really nervous about opening up about my past, there's a lot to discuss. But I need this. For my daughter and for me, but also for the relationships I have with people.

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Your welcome, ❤ i completely understand you.

You have to be strong too for your child, yout family, the mother love is the most unconditional in the world.

And we all through for this kind of things ❤ i understand your nerves but we all need to liberate that charge to get better (n-n)

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Hi Sapphire, and welcome.

Most of us are nervous, at first, but AS is a wonderful site. I never though when I came on that I could really post anything, share anything, or fit in, in any way. That was about 3 weeks ago. Everyone has been kind and supportive, and I hope you will feel more relaxed as you get to know some of us. We are all in the same boat, just trying to heal wounds inflicted on us by others.

As far as what you post, when you post, and how you post...you will never see judgment here. If you think it's confusing or doesn't make sense, it doesn't matter as much as you think. We will still be here and we will still support you.

Mary

BTW...Your boyfriend may not fully understand (it's hard for anyone who hasn't gone thru it), it sounds like he is at least trying, which does say a lot.

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Thank you guys so much guys :) and yes, he doesn't understand; especially my previous relationship which was my daughter's father (there was some forced sexual encounters etc), because I didn't report him or leave. He is trying, he gets frustrated because I always seem to say 'you just don't understand', but the truth of the matter is, most times I don't even understand what happened or what my emotions are about the entire situation; both my previous relationship and the encounters that happened years prior. He's a very caring and comforting gentleman, who understands no. I just need to work on saying no...

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Your situation reminds me the mine with my boyfriend.

He doesn't understand, but remember at least your boyfriend tries and anybody is perfect and they can't say to us what we want to hear. But i always thought that is more important the love than the words sometimes.

Even a tight hug works while we cry... And you know, having someone to protect you.

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Hi Sappbire, You are not the only one!! I too was nervous to join this forum. I have been shadowing this for about 2 years and I signed up last week since I finally realized that everyone here is supportiNg and kind!!Always remember that you are not alone and there we are always going to continue the support and love!

Edited by Harmonious
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Hi Sapphire and Sthepania,

Like Mary said, you have found a wonderful forum...and for the two of you to connect within this forum, is an added blessing. I was fortunate to find someone with whom I share like experiences with, and she is an amazing woman that is always there to encourage me. I too am trying to sort through feelings, and figure out my thoughts and feelings as they come flooding back.

To have amazing men in your life who are working and wanting to support you is a blessing, but has also got to be difficult on both of you in the relationship. Take strength from each other on this forum.

Mary is one of the strongest, most kind women on this forum...by th way, so take strength in her encouragement as well.

Again, welcome to you both...

Take Gentle Care...

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Thank you NeedPeace

I really found relief in this forum yesterday. Today i was thinking to post my story and... I get nervous too and insecure after remember all the things that i have to write.

Mary is so kind, I've seen that she's the first to help others and comment ❤ she have a warm heart how i can see.

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Hi, I'm gonna go by the name of Sapphire. I'm really nervous about joining a forum for my past experiences. The guy I am seeing now, is the furthest thing from an abuser; but at the same time also doesn't understand what I have gone through, and doesn't understand how to help me. So he suggested I check out a forum of some sort to try and figure out my feelings etc. I will share my story later tonight, when I have a chance to process what I am going to explain, and the multiple situations that I need to express. Please, bear with me, as most of my posts may not make sense and they may be a bit confusing. I'm lost, and it's starting to affect my relationship with this amazing man I am seeing.

Hi Sapphire! :hi:

I'm glad the guy you have now is a good person but it's understandable that you need some support from others who are also survivors to help you process things and support you as you walk the road of healing. We're with you every step of the way!

With support,

Activist Ally

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Dear Sapphire,

You may call me Winter.

I am struggling with the same thing as you are. My partner of 8 years and I have struggled endlessly with intimacy issues. He is very pacient and supportive but it is still difficult and causes a lot of miscommunication and frustration.

I am curious to know what you may have been struggling with, if you would like to chat please let me know.

Some advice I can give you is that the person you are with should love and support you no matter what, so if they do then they will do anything to make it work, do not be afraid. =)

However, it will be a great deal of struggling and going outside your comfort zone on your part, and it is necessary in order for your relationship to work. Make compromises with each other, work together. Something we did that helped is that my partner and I lay down, and he ran his hands gently over different areas of my body to see what spots 'trigger' memories or reactions. Once we found the spots we either avoided touching or tried to find a way to touch that wouldn't frighten me.

I hope this helps, best of luck. =)

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