Jump to content
Some browsers are having difficulty with functionality. Please try an alternative browser, if this is happening to you. If you are having connectivity issues beyond this or or need assistance, email us at: aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com! ×

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'suicide'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • I AM AWARE OF WHAT THE RULES ARE
    • Public: Rules and Guidelines
  • SOMETIMES I HEAR MY VOICE...
    • Public: Welcome!
  • THESE PRECIOUS THINGS...
    • Public: Pretty Good Year
    • Public: Resources
  • JUST A SILLY PHASE I AM GOING THROUGH
  • HAPPY WORKERS (Administration)
    • Public: Feedback Dropbox

Blogs

  • From the Bottom of Beyond....
  • Matty253's Blog
  • Healing Journey
  • JenD's Blog
  • helannah's Blog
  • lexieb's Blog
  • My Story and Healing Process
  • My Poetry
  • ZombieG's Blog
  • beckyjayne's Blog
  • inzerlinzer17's Blog
  • USN11Sam's Blog
  • Wounded Healer
  • brokenhearted89's Blog
  • Survivors sanctuary's Blog
  • Diary of a not so mad man.
  • Diary of a Not so Mad Man
  • tina619's Blog
  • Copper's Word Roost
  • AshleyyyRebecca's Blog
  • kj645's Blog
  • Trial By Fire
  • brokengirl89's Blog
  • lalachant's Blog
  • raindrops94's Blog
  • Trial By Fire
  • abbyroad's Blog
  • jooo's Blog
  • A Brilliant Darkness
  • Howl at the Moon
  • Is Recovery Possible?
  • Fallenstar's Random Thoughts
  • Marcie's Blog
  • aharockperi's Blog
  • Nonnie's Blog
  • Nonnie's Blog
  • Tired of Being Taboo, Time to Speak my Truth
  • My Meaningful Life
  • blogging instead of crying
  • lori43's Blog
  • Elle White's Blog
  • RACHELM1995's Blog
  • Veelookingback's Blog
  • This is going to be a long journey
  • seraphim's Blog
  • A little thing called happiness
  • Always Express Yourself
  • stuckinthedarkness' Blog
  • Angel80's Blog
  • Angel80's Blog
  • Angel80's Blog
  • Realizing, Accepting, Moving on
  • Panther195's Blog
  • lemonlady's Blog
  • Ginger Grove
  • One Woman
  • Wherever it takes me.
  • My Battle
  • Kat's Blog
  • Hope Resilience Strength
  • rjnestor982's Blog
  • My Story.
  • Returning
  • Candace's Blog
  • amandaoliver's Blog
  • how's Blog
  • BrightEyes19's Blog
  • Sarkasm's Blog
  • kungfu's Blog
  • Elliott's Blog
  • Flataffect7's Blog
  • tonysullivan's Blog
  • Jaydien's Blog
  • your honour, my shame
  • jusme's Blog
  • vakry's Blog
  • Kizza's Blog
  • shortcake's Blog
  • jusme's Blog
  • trustissues23's Blog
  • disclaimher's Blog
  • Villa Straylight
  • guessangelina's Blog
  • Horses, Dogs, and Etc
  • Turtle's Tellings
  • Better
  • bernie's Blog
  • aztecwarrior's Blog
  • Just another bad day
  • Finding Me.
  • GhostWriter's Blog
  • miraculoussunshine27's Blog
  • Coco's Journey
  • forest on daily life
  • NothingHasBeenBroken's Blog
  • trying2breathe's Blog
  • colacard's Blog
  • Nonsense & Nothing
  • AWolf74075's Blog
  • My Story Unleashed
  • ItsNotMyShameToBear's Blog
  • The Freedom Writer's Diary
  • careforlovedones1's Blog
  • Breaking the Silence
  • ImScared's Blog
  • LadyRose's Blog
  • Skyfeather's Blog
  • Breathe in, Breathe out
  • eternalsunshine's Blog
  • FindingClosure's Blog
  • ash182007's Blog
  • LovemyBostonTerrier's Blog
  • daily basis
  • Scarathonia's Blog
  • random acts of mindlessness
  • Sober's Blog
  • Tiffany's Blog
  • Perpetually Healing
  • oldscarnewpain's Blog
  • CalliopeRayne's Blog
  • Green's General Ramblings On Life
  • Little Mermaid Girl's Blog
  • Hope is a thing with feathers
  • Still in Pain
  • FightingHeart's Blog
  • talking to myself
  • annenzhk's Blog
  • annenzhk's Blog
  • Thoughts and Memeries
  • Highs and Lows
  • Bloom
  • justanothersurvivor's Blog
  • fallenstar's crew's blog
  • Ladybug4's Blog
  • robert1992's Blog
  • Dreamer90's Blog
  • Kasha's Blog
  • Kasha's Blog
  • Kasha's Blog
  • Kasha's Blog
  • Kasha's Blog
  • ImAWarrior's Blog
  • droid's story
  • Systeminthesky
  • Taniandre's Blog
  • DizzyDidi's Blog
  • CookingGnome's Blog
  • Foxface's Blog
  • StruggliNSilence14's Blog
  • Apples to Apples
  • ForgetIT's Blog
  • fisher94's Blog
  • JessieJoy's Blog
  • rollininthedeep's Blog
  • Jamienicole's Blog
  • Roaming Cat
  • Broken1973's Blog
  • SurvivorBornAgain's Blog
  • dancelove's Blog
  • BlueCanvas' Blog
  • hippeechick's Blog
  • Write it out and move on
  • Confusedandalone1415's Blog
  • NoMoreSilence
  • left-behind-for-dead
  • Remembrance
  • Pete :)
  • reidmallorie's Blog
  • Mickeylace2000's Blog
  • KateFindsHerVoice's Blog
  • pumpkinoodle1216's Blog
  • princessgrace21's Blog
  • JustBroken's Blog
  • anna1's Blog
  • 2 xs in a row
  • firefly05's Blog
  • firefly05's Blog
  • Deafening Silence
  • SurvivorS3361's Blog
  • Healing Mommy
  • victoria295's Blog
  • nmkkato's Blog
  • abt22's Blog
  • crisxo's Blog
  • Rosiekrishnadevotee's Blog
  • Am I Alone Anymore?
  • The Little Boy
  • Potentially Lovely
  • Please Help...
  • Internal labyrinth
  • Moopkie's poetry
  • PurpleSun's Blog
  • Jay Ess' Blog
  • Jay Ess' Blog
  • Melikecats77's Blog
  • Lonelilies
  • This Is Life
  • Poetry is my Theripist
  • elephantlove's Blog
  • My Much Needed Blog
  • justasurvivor's Blog
  • wishiwasbetter's Blog
  • Where Healing Begins
  • nolongeravictim's Blog
  • Manyyearslater's Blog
  • lulo18's Blog
  • robme702's Blog
  • robme702's Blog
  • bbbb's Blog
  • Eimmik513's Blog
  • Maybe this can be my outlet?
  • Not Alone
  • Purpledaisies' Blog
  • Issabear's Blog
  • Blog for my insiders
  • Those Things I Think but can't say
  • Kmiller's Blog
  • Paula563's Blog
  • Emmy091796's Blog
  • Foundation of Bricks
  • Anah's Blog
  • niet8830's Blog
  • Emmy091796's Blog
  • deepunderprincess' Blog
  • BreathingAngel16's Blog
  • ihopetosave's Blog
  • Flying With Broken Wings
  • fadingflower's Blog
  • Ineedtoheal's Blog
  • mrsmlk's Blog
  • Kimberly122708
  • Hopefully I'll Use This
  • Starting Over
  • iyaaguilar's Blog
  • sm28's Blog
  • ladyphlox's Tumblr
  • lolo525's Blog
  • Caslynn77's Blog
  • LeanneGeorge's Blog
  • hbd2491's Blog
  • captain's log
  • music24
  • ABS55
  • Luna629's Blog
  • Anael's Blog
  • 4Tear
  • nicole87's Blog
  • ihatedhim's Blog
  • iamastrongperson's Blog
  • cheyanna707's Blog
  • lovelyla25's Blog
  • One story at a time...
  • hope4healing23's Blog
  • needavoice2015
  • No one wants to know
  • shootingstars1400's Blog
  • Eternal Misery
  • MaryHealing's Blog
  • The First Step
  • Broken Angel
  • dumbNnumb26's Blog
  • Breathing
  • A day in the life..
  • Hummingbird2015's Blog
  • jigsaw2888's Blog
  • dumbNnumb26's Blog
  • Germangirl90's Blog
  • JessieJ's Blog
  • dragongaurd's Blog
  • greymist's Blog
  • Letters to Myself
  • Dasi's Blog
  • Dasi's Blog
  • My Blog
  • justice4all's Blog
  • trying2accept's blog
  • Tinamarieee's Blog
  • NeverGiveUp89's Blog
  • The story of a girl
  • Should've Stopped It
  • CaseyLeona's Blog
  • CaseyLeona's Blog
  • My Blog
  • Razzy's Blog
  • Hopeless92's Blog
  • mrscoon's Blog
  • kc405's Blog
  • FlickeringSoul's Moments Of Thought
  • Amd1217's Blog
  • kitcatwich's Blog
  • Emerald1981's Blog
  • fallenflower's non fair tail
  • diprece's Blog
  • sjp124532 Blog
  • blog part 2
  • "You're not gonna sue me right?"
  • noname92's Blog
  • Speaking up and Out
  • LeahA's Blog
  • 1000 stories of me
  • jinx789's Blog
  • Sandersj911's Blog
  • shamilton747's Blog
  • Dasi's Blog
  • Recovery Recorded from Step One
  • 127
  • Poetry That Helps Me Cope
  • Months go by
  • innocence
  • suziespots
  • teleahstears
  • A Father's Love *Tw
  • A Father's Love
  • My past
  • Losing My Virginity to a Sociopath
  • Heartfelt
  • Bb
  • Vivkitten
  • First Blog
  • My Faith encouragement
  • Oakprs Blog
  • MyselfAndI
  • My story
  • A Drop in the Bucket
  • Figuring Stuff Out
  • Mental Dragonfllies
  • deb28
  • cazn
  • RisingAboveTheScars
  • Danitza
  • Dear Perpetrator...*TW
  • Marilyn's Blog
  • Jenny
  • A Safe Place
  • Invictus
  • My Life - POSSIBLE TW BEEN THROUGH IT ALL
  • Two Lives
  • Damaged Goods
  • Every Second
  • Me and my thoughts
  • hey everyone im back
  • Lostgirl19
  • Ddogs
  • Through My Eyes
  • Donnna
  • This is my reality
  • May our spirits be free
  • Thomas
  • Kathyps33
  • Bloodbrother
  • Frank
  • i reached out last
  • Angelinas
  • Stich
  • Lost&FoundGirl
  • avi
  • Positive Vision
  • BALCFAN
  • Nienne
  • Bearing it All
  • Muse
  • Unsteady
  • Deb0895
  • Quinn
  • Matthew
  • I Think I Have A Problem
  • I Think I Have A Problem
  • A blog I'm gonna end up hating.....
  • LonelymanJim
  • How do I get out of this unhealthy cycle I've created for myself
  • Abomination
  • Why I came here...Part of my story
  • A place for hidden thoughts
  • hear no evil. see no evil. speak no evil.
  • I am Me and that is OK
  • always scared
  • Thank you for what you have taught me
  • My story (TW)
  • Shatteredintonuthing
  • Cute Baby chickens
  • My space
  • Let it all out
  • I thought it could never happen to me...
  • Zero to One
  • Alone in my thoughts
  • Positive Vision
  • My Journey
  • Hi :)
  • A
  • Forging My Own Path
  • Hawkgirl's Haven
  • life goes on
  • Catbox
  • The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
  • Wonderland - Thinking zone
  • The Journey to the other side
  • Ending the Cycle. Incest Survivor.
  • I Am No Victim
  • I'm over the struggle!
  • About Us
  • Healing Tears
  • One simple kind act
  • EJG
  • my healing journey
  • Saving Tulip
  • There is an ocean in my soul
  • Trying to Recover.
  • Science Geek
  • Hello
  • The tragedy that is my life....
  • Ljay
  • Everything happens for a reason......
  • My Journey To Evolution
  • My story
  • Trying
  • Resurrection?
  • Always in a "Man's World"
  • Insider Edition
  • A Tiny Sea
  • Twice over
  • my healing process and thoughts along the way
  • This is two parts having it out.
  • Am I alone?
  • All of this is difficult
  • Debbie20
  • Project: Hero
  • Life
  • Into the Abyss
  • Behind the Wall
  • My Story (Trigger Warning)
  • My story
  • Thoughts and Stuff
  • What's Beauty
  • Lil' Tribble
  • simply samantha
  • survivingdecember
  • How not to get angry before sex after experiencing rape
  • Here we go again
  • Unwritten...
  • Full Disclosure: the little girl trapped inside
  • LifeAfterRape
  • recovery- my story
  • Pieces of me
  • *T* My Story
  • adanic
  • My story
  • Where I am today
  • The old me.
  • The road so far
  • Gotta Keep on Moving
  • Mary's thoughts
  • I Suck at Keeping Journals
  • PearlofMary
  • I am a Survivor
  • PearlofMary
  • A monster is getting out on parole, now what..
  • Dawn of a new day
  • saying it out loud
  • Neverendingtears
  • A Grain of Salt & A Pound of Chocolate
  • Staying Strong
  • Blondy2002
  • CivilCybil
  • Invisible Struggle
  • Grow.
  • Jzel
  • Catsarelife
  • My Journey
  • Dan
  • Cold
  • Purging and healing
  • Continuing Transformation
  • Warriors in the Sky
  • Supergirl
  • The Story of Lotus Flower
  • Depressing blog
  • Can't Feel
  • My mind
  • I lost a friend as well as my dignity, my self respect,...
  • Finding the light.
  • Sneakers against ignorance
  • I wonder why God let’s me walk through this place
  • My story
  • Nature
  • An open letter
  • My Therapy Talk
  • Roses Into The Abyss
  • Kaleidoscope
  • How Far I'll Go
  • MY NEW BEGINNING
  • a song im writing.
  • Musings
  • pencils
  • Vine & Fig Tree
  • Japan Festival in Houston
  • And So, I Write...
  • Life can be Garbage
  • To feel or Not to feel
  • Support Blog (I only wish my sibling would accept our support...)
  • whatever
  • My healing journey
  • sorting station
  • Scars/traces/fase s /
  • Rewind
  • After Silence
  • Trying to save myself
  • My Life
  • My musings
  • (possible trigger warning)
  • Trying this now.
  • A Journey
  • I'm a mess
  • My Journey Through The Darkness
  • One Night
  • A Turtle Without His Shell
  • PMsupertramp
  • Scared
  • Thoughts
  • Undefeated Battles
  • Finding my Narrative
  • The Way to Get Through
  • The Way to Get Through
  • Trying to heal from my past
  • This is the Story of a Girl...
  • Jennifer Kelly
  • Maryjudy
  • Poems
  • Sharing for the first time
  • A Better Day
  • I thought I was fixed
  • The Valley Below
  • The Reoccurring Night
  • Just Need to Vent for a Moment
  • Closing my eyes
  • ST123
  • did my abuse not allow me to deal with sexuality?
  • did my abuse not allow me to deal with sexuality?
  • Thoughts
  • Emails to my T
  • Random Blips of Light on the Radar of Life
  • Broken
  • The Frog Blog
  • Emergence: Healing and Recovery from Sexual Violence
  • FadedButNotForgot
  • Numbness
  • One year
  • Stubborn and Broken
  • Gordy
  • lost
  • A Glimmer of Hope
  • Spread Your Wings
  • Silence is golden
  • blackroses1999
  • A letter to the boy I thought ruined me
  • Childhood Trauma and how it affects me today
  • MY JOURNEY AS A SURVIVOR
  • Still fighting
  • Phoenix - from the ashes I shall rise
  • Asking for help
  • Hugakeribear
  • Hi
  • My Survival Stroy
  • On Broken Wings
  • Heroine
  • I need a blog I talk too much
  • Still I Rise
  • One Step Closer To Freedom
  • Abuse, addiction, religion, and the desire to heal
  • Me now my child
  • Thoughts
  • a blog
  • Who I am now
  • Working on it
  • Thoughts I Need to Share
  • Letters to my family
  • My trauma through poetry
  • Blah, Blah, Blog
  • Release
  • Words I'll Never Say
  • Help
  • Blog
  • My repository
  • silence
  • sleep
  • Feeling Ashamed
  • Healing Steps
  • (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something
  • My Story
  • Journal of my Journey
  • Lonely Girl Diaries
  • They call us survivors
  • Rune’s runes and other mancies
  • Seeing clearly
  • The Vault
  • Viceless
  • PTSD Journal
  • Laying Amongst the Daisies
  • Self Deprecation Station
  • The Memories that won't leave
  • Once upon a Time
  • My Beginning
  • The abyss I call my mind
  • Brain Dumps
  • let me breathe
  • Memories Taking Over
  • Sexual Assault & Orgasm
  • Please no pity
  • Thoughts and things
  • Now That I'm Grown
  • Maybe I'm gay maybe it's make believe
  • My life after
  • Don't touch me, read this
  • trying to process
  • Unveiling My Truth
  • TW My confusing relationship with my father
  • Tales of a Songbird Learning to Fly
  • Metamorphosis
  • :/
  • matts
  • I Hurt and I Heal
  • Intimacy is too much
  • Sexually coerced by my university supervisor
  • ...
  • my story
  • abhaya
  • A Butterfly's Blog - Therapeutic Journaling in a Safe Space
  • What I Want to Say
  • Ad Nauseam || Ad Infnitum
  • A Life We Live
  • BROKEN AS
  • The Road Less Traveled
  • i don't know what i'm doing
  • proFound objects
  • #its not OK
  • First Post - My Story **TW: Descriptions/mentions of SA**
  • WTF?
  • Catjaz
  • Fantasy ~ Mind ~ Reality
  • ♥️🌺 Positivity & Hope 🌺♥️
  • Life Gets Better
  • My Abuse Stories
  • Sisyphus
  • Letters to Them
  • Focusing on myself (slidgt inside)
  • liminal life, abandoned existence.
  • Poems and Ramblings
  • Mess Den of an extinct critter
  • my thoughts
  • just floating
  • One Day at a Time
  • breaking the chains
  • InnerChild/ShadowWork
  • OrigamiFlower
  • Trauma: Truly Tragic
  • Journaling 🫀✨
  • Needing a hug and some help
  • Recovery isn't linear
  • My Abuse Blog
  • Nightly Musings
  • Xenea
  • Secret formula of life
  • When will it change
  • The Angry Blog
  • blessthem
  • scared of who I will become
  • My wounded inner child’s journey
  • Journalling and Musings
  • A Weight Lifted
  • Living Rose
  • My starting views
  • My Crazy Inner Dialogue
  • DayLily Introduction
  • intotheworldoflight

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


Website URL


Birth Date


Location


Interests

Found 21 results

  1. Basically 3 big things have happened while I've been not documenting this journey over the past few months. 1) Apparently I did tell my maternal aunt that my brother was abusing me when I was around 11 or 12. She knew the whole time and didn't bring it up with anyone. I didn't remember telling her all this time. LAME. 2) I confronted my parents. They said they didn't remember me telling them about my bro when I was younger. My mom made some excuses for my brother like "boys do stupid things" "he was watching bad shows." etc. but eventually did apologize to me and understood I
  2. Earliest Memory: Walking on the concrete foundation for my future home and falling backwards. My mom coming to pick me up. Age: 3-4 Distressing Level: 0 Theme: A push and pull between wanting a normal mother and wanting her out of my life. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Bilateral Movement 1 Mom coming to pick me up. Everything was blurry because of my poor vision. _________________________________________________________________________________
  3. (Multiple lies) throughout this letter regarding time duration, the acts he committed, and not admitting to doing the same to my cousin as well. His (self pity) was overflowing. The (manipulation) is masterful. Poor childhood self. You were so strong for handling this with the limited tools you had. Thank you for pulling through the awful time period. M****** (Me), I just received your letter last night when I got home from work. I know that deep down in my heart I was forgiven by you and I am so gracious for
  4. The newest book I've read. A lot of good information. Considering that C-PTSD is like PTSD but with the added caveat of ongoing abuse with the idea that the abuse is inescapable. Adding hopelessness into the mix. I definitely felt that way. In this book, the author says that at the core of C-PTSD isn't necessarily the trauma itself, but the emotional neglect that comes with it. In my case, my parents not believing me when I told them about my brother. Having that confirmation that I wasn't important, that I was a liar, or that I was essentially unloved, was totally emotional neglect. S
  5. I've got some things to say to you both. Questions and general statements. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why didn't you believe me? Why didn't you believe my cousin? How could you not notice it? Or see my pain? Or protect me? Do you know I almost killed myself several times? Why would you think I'd lie about being abused? Can you sincerely apologize to me? What can you do to fix our relationship? Why can't you have a serious conversation with me? __________
  6. I spoke to my cousin about what she thought of justice. She told me justice for her was me healing and taking back my life. Why was she so invested in me? I had no clue what she went through but now I know that she is my hero and the only person to show me unconditional love. Here's some of what happened. The first time my cousin discovered I was being abused was when she spent the night at my house. She woke up to my brother on top of me, 'doing things to me." She kicked him off of me but to no avail. He continued. She yelled at him to stop and when he wouldn't, she said to do it to h
  7. Well, first off, I don't remember much. Just a few very vivid images, a lot of crying and watching myself from the corner of the room. My abuser was my oldest brother. I was 9 and he was 14 or 15 at the time. The most of one incident I remember is when my 2 other brothers were playing videogames and were completely engrossed in it. My 3rd brother (the oldest) put a blanket on top of me on his bed and told everyone in the room he was just going to massage me. I was just still, unmoving and very confused. He touched me and made me touch him. I had no clue what to do so he literally
  8. Well i know its been since last year since i wrote so much has happened. since my brothers suicide i couldnt handle it any more and came really close to the edge of SH and so i went into inpatient to get some help to deal with the feeling surrounding it and also got my meds regulated at the same time. i am in no means "better". im searching for the light right now. im searching for hope. i try to see the good in things but right now even though i did go inpatient i still hurt. i hurt because he left me that is why im searching for hope. he was my hope my light at the end of the tunnel. my hear
  9. Well, yesterday was my first Thanksgiving without my brother. As ive written he took his life a couple of months ago. so thus leaving this my first holiday without him. we went through csa together so pretty much everything in my mind and logic should be a peace of cake after that. Boy was i way off track and wrong. i thought i would be able to handle it with style and grace. after all i had his ashes so in a way he was there in "presence". also along that line he was there in spirit that should have been enough for me or anyone i guess. well it wasnt for me. i was so used to even if we weren
  10. Well, I've been trying to think of how to write this entry and even more on what to title it, still not sure the title is correct, but I am trying. Since, my brother, who i when through child sexual abuse, physical mental and emotional abuse with took his life the nightmares have come back. they seem to be of the abuse that we went through together. they went away for so long. i dont understand why they have come back now. i have been dealing with the abuse in therapy, well until now because of the stop in progress due to the suicide. i havent self harmed in over a year, i now use a rubber ban
  11. I am not new to this community. I have tried to do a blog before but failed at it. Recent events have brought me back here and I feel that it is important for me to do this. My therapist said a blog is kind of like a journal entry and you can write whatever, so I think I will share the recent events that have brought me to do the blog and a bit about my background. At the age of 4 I began to be sexually abused along with my brother by our babysitter, mother and her many boyfriends. Growing up in foster care from the age 6-10 some of the abuse continued for me and at times with him as well
  12. Fucking pissed, Losing my mind. I'm definitely gonna cut, It's happening tonight. Gonna cut and bleed, Just as I cry. Tearline, bloodline, Watch it all drip away. Feel the pain, Feel the burn. This is real, And it hurts. I don't care, Cut away. The pain is bad, Drives me to cut deeper. No regret, I'm fucking done. Cut so deep, I can't remember. Is there a vein? One or two. Maybe three, I don't care, If I cut, say I never knew.
  13. Poppy_

    I Got Help

    It’s been a long time and I am so excited to be writing again! Not only have I missed you all, but I have missed the therapy that comes with writing and releasing everything. So much has happened since I last wrote a blog entry, and I am going to start sharing some of that! Most recently, I just finished a two-month long outpatient mental health program and it was life changing. I’m wishing I would’ve kept my blog going during this process so I could talk about what happened each week and it would be fresh, but I didn’t. I’m going to do my best to recall some of the highlights and pu
  14. Hey, everyone. It’s been a while. Well, longer for you than it has been for me. I wrote a blog a few weeks ago and never posted it. I guess I was ashamed of the content in that blog. I thought it was something I wanted to talk about but, I was wrong. Having one of my closest friends tell me how wrong I was…that didn’t help. So, I didn’t post it, but I DID write it. For me, I had just released all my pent-up energy and I haven’t had much else to write about. Not until now, anyway. Things have been…alright, I guess. They’ve been better, but they’ve also been worse. I think in the midst
  15. Well, it’s Wednesday. I’m tired today. I was up late last night and early this morning and I’m ready to go back to my cozy bed and sleep away the rest of the week. Honestly, I haven’t blogged because there’s been nothing to blog about. Everything in my life is just heavy right now. There’s been little good and lots of bad and I just want to post something worth reading. That likely won’t happen today. I guess this blog will be a catch-up session. Since the last blog I posted was about my suicide attempt, I feel I owe everyone an update. I DID post a different blog after that one, but
  16. Well, folks, I think I’m making progress! In some areas, it seems things are really regressing and I feel like a failure. In other areas, I can feel healing happening and trust blooming and progress being made. I took a HUGE step with The New Guy this weekend. I mean – huge. It may seem insignificant to some of you, but for me this was a really big deal. I was going to keep this private, but I’ve decided that I want to share. I haven’t updated you all since I posted my story and it’s long overdue for me to post. I’m going to start at the beginning of this weekend. No, actually, I’m g
  17. The wall and the mask that i made up… Start to crumbling down.. It start to breaking into pieces… And i'm afraid of it… I'm no longer myself.. i already try the best…. But i know it hard… to be strong again… I started to lose it.. Nightmare? Depression? Trauma? Anxiety.. Bulimia... i can't afford it anymore.. I can't.. Faking my smile.. faking my laugh.. faking everything…why? Why do i need to do this.. why do i need to be someone that i'm not… Why do i need to impress everyone.. They don't even care I wake up 3 am everyday.. i'm crying a lot.. i do self
  18. So starting this month I've been on one dose of Wellbutrin right when I wake up and two doses four hours apart of Adderall, each per day. I've noticed I get really anxious and depressed if I am alone after my second dose wears off. Some nights almost suicidal. Two weeks ago over the weekend meds wore off and I got so anxious and hopeless that I self harmed for the first time in years. The next morning I had to have someone talk me out of committing suicide (as in, I was seriously considering it but I worded it to them that I was just triggered and tempted to self harm) and walk me through some
  19. sometimes i wish he had kill me. just finish the job he started. when i think about suicide i always feel the sting of the reminder "he won". i honestly have no idea why did he keep me alive, or if he ever wanted to, if the thought of killing me ever crossed his mind. but if it ever did, i shall not give him the satisfaction, he did his worse, and i will not lay a hand to silence me for good. i have never reported nor faced him with my accusations, but he knows damn well that i have the power, the upper hand, and if he ever to try my patience, i will look him in his eyes,
  20. So i'm new to this forum, but I've discovered blogs. I'm a little happy about that, as I can express myself freely without triggering myself or others of course. Today I'm meeting with my counselor from the women's shelter. She's an amazing woman, who encourages and inspires me. We made an intervention plan together that involves 4 consequences of what I've been through, and the means to help me overcome them. The two biggest and hardest ones to overcome are suicidal thoughts, and flash backs. This past weekend was very difficult for me, I ended up calling a suicide crisis line....someone tal
  21. hello... i have long put off joining a forum, let alone writing a personal intro post - but i truly feel it is the most important step i can take in my life at this moment. it has always been my safe zone to be present for other people in their healing, to encourage them and support them, while i myself hid in secret mounds of pain. so i am here to uncover myself and be honest with all who will listen, and am grateful to likewise support the honesty and truths of others i am here because the rest of the world seems unreal to me now. because people who have not experienced this depth of emoti
×
×
  • Create New...