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Found 4 results

  1. Anxiety Shakes

    Today I had to call my insurance company to sort out some claims they denied. They denied them because they didn't have the information about my last insurance policy to verify that it ended. There's some paperwork going out to get them that info, and then the claims should be approved. It was OK as phone calls go - mostly just answering questions as asked. But I've always struggled with phone calls, and by the time I hung up I was ice cold, shaking, nauseated, and breaking out in cold sweats. I couldn't sit still for hours after. Maybe next week this'll be sorted out and I can call and make an appointment with a psychiatrist. The nightmares have been getting worse. The flashbacks were really intense and near constant there for a bit; they've eased up a little now but I'm still getting them daily. And spending the rest of my time deathly tired and with my brain off in space. I hope they'll do something to help. I've never really had a doctor believe me before. Today was the first day in weeks that I had any energy at all, and that was because of how badly this phone call set off my anxiety. One day last week I was laying in my kitchen floor with all the lights off when my dad got home from work, because cooking 2 steaks and some rice took all my energy but I wanted to be close enough to know if anything boiled over or whatever, while I was waiting on him. Even getting out of bed to go downstairs and watch TV is a big deal lately. I can't keep living like this, unable to do anything for myself. Something has to give soon.
  2. I wanted to join the RAF...

    I was 14 years old and studying for my GCSEs the day that the diseased turd was brought into my class room. I have since been told that it was brought to my school with the sole purpose of raping my face. It was the local social services, they had set me up. I don't for what reason or under what law they were able to do such things. It really doesn't make any sense to me. I had wanted to join the RAF since the age of 6, I was my long term goal. It's what I had dreamed of doing, its what I studied for. I didn't have a plan 'B' I didn't however have an interest in David Spring's cartoon's or indeed a interest in 'sucking it's di*k'. I am not a homosexual. I can't imagine anyone wanted to go near David Spring. I didn't have an 'interest' in Art. I didn't need to pay for Jamie Conway's cigarette habit. I didn't want to go to Jamie Conway's alcohol birthday party. I didn't want to 'do' LSD. David Spring is beyond ugly and foul and gross and sick and mentally ill and psychically disgusted. I can't quite imagine how a social worker could legally dream up such a thing?? Still my Policeman father 'paid' David Spring to repeatedly orally rape me. Apparently it was done for my sister. What 'mental illness' she suffers from, I can't quite fathom. Being a 'teenager' is hard enough without being raped by the diseased turd. Jamie Conway cost me my GCSE's. Emma Gibson (or whatever the fuck her name is?) cost me my place in the ATC and my career in the RAF. Claire Guy cost me my health and my wife and children...
  3. Hi there!

    Hi y'all! I'm a new member as of a few days ago and here I am to make my introductions! I am 20 and I use they/them/theirs pronouns. I'm a csa and sexual assault survivor struggling with anxiety and severe depression. I'm looking forward to finding support in this awesome-seeming community!
  4. Through The Stages...

    "It is so easy to descend into madness, then opening doors and exposing old wounds..."-Timi Afternoon, umm i am so not good at introductions lol. But my name is Timi! I am a 22 years old african american chick from Louisiana. Currently a junior in college but opt out this semester to better my mental and physical health. I am a incest and child molestation survivor and finally receive professional help through therapy. Depression, anxiety, paranoia, and Bipolar disorder have been plaguing my life every since i was child. I thought i could live with what happen to me, continue to interact with my abuser.... But after a mental breakdown, i knew i could no longer walk in my own shadows. I been lurking on message boards and with the new found strength i now have, i am ready to share my story. I want to help others who dealt with the same pain i have carried for so long. I would love to hear from others and I WANT TO BE CLEAR: My message box IS ALWAYS OPEN. Even if it is something small, like talking about your day. Always know i am here and willing to listen. So follow me through my retelling of my journey, How i transcend through Each Stage to recovery & peace... *Please Note-My grammar is horrible and one of the reasons that i have not participate in messageboards more sooner. Please excuse that because it is one of my insecurities
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