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Found 7 results

  1. Have I REALLY been gone since December 4th? Yes, friends - this is VERY much unlike me. Those of you who know me - know that when my mind is cluttered and my brain is busy - I write. It's how I make sense of things. To say that my mind has been clear lately would be a lie - there's SO much clutter up there - it's starting to look like Grandma's attic! (Although MY grandmother, may she rest in peace, did not have an attic - she had a basement that scared the shit out of me for most of my childhood!) My brain has been running a mile-a-minute, but I've been effective at compartme
  2. *** This was also posted in the Aftermath section. It was a little bit longer than the standard length of most posts there but the message I hope to convey is a powerful one and I feel that it is more than just a post. I've copied/pasted it here because while it was meant to be a post, it's also another one of my famous 'cleanses' and certainly belongs here, too. *** This is likely going to turn out to be a long post. I apologize in advance. There's just an enormous amount of brain-clutter these days and the OCD person I am is trying to sort through some of it, organize it. Wr
  3. Dear Eddie, It has taken me at least five whole minutes to decide whether a piece of shit like you warranted a 'dear.' It was completely out of habit that I started this letter in the same polite, courteous way I would start a letter to anyone else. YOU, however, are not just 'anyone else.' I also debated whether or not I should use your name - I don't even know if it's your real name. Either way, I have decided that I want people to know exactly who you are - and unfortunately, using your first name is not even enough. This, though, is ALL I know about you. There are many app
  4. Shouldn’t trigger, unless language/the discussion of guilt bothers you. Today, I spoke to my mother, also known fondly as the ‘Oompa Loompa.’ We were trying to finalize this week’s Thanksgiving plans. A couple entries ago, I explained how she is still breast-feeding my 30 year old sister, who just had a baby of her own. She goes there every day, cooks for her, does the housework, the laundry, et cetera, because apparently my sister doesn’t quite know yet how to allow someone else to hold the baby while she cooks or shops or does something productive around
  5. A light blog today, just because. Last night, we had a laugh as a family. It hasn’t happened in a while but, damn, it felt good! Not saying we aren’t a family that laughs, it’s just so easy to get caught up in the more serious day-to-day routines. Sometimes we forget to laugh, to cherish these little moments that bring us a chuckle when times become challenging. As most of you know by now, we recently moved from the city and became country bumpkins this past summer. To find a supermarket, bowling alley, restaurant, movie theater or just about any other place after
  6. Extreme content - mind rambles and just trying to work through this. Mother fucking fuck. I don't understand why these... memories... this.. .this fucking life altering moment when P fucking fuck face made me his. Sick, made me HIS??!?! I don't understand why these memories have now made me have to realize that I'm.... what.. what? So fucking preoccupied by sex and men sexualizing me? It breaks my heart typing those words. It breaks my heart because who the FUCK takes this shit and uses it in a way that is so.... misunderstood. My mom always used to tell me that she'd slap me if she found out
  7. Everyday. I think about it everyday. Most of the time I'm angry. I don't think I've ever had this kind of deep anger before. I can feel it boiling in the pit of my stomach. I can feel my heart trying to pounce out of my chest. I try to stay strong. I try to keep calm but its so fucking hard!! I shouldn't have to feel this way! I shouldn't be this angry ! But I am. And the fact that this will never be erased from my mind makes me angrier. I had other things to worry about. Now I have to think about this bullshit and it isn't fucking right. I want him to suffer like he has made me. I want reven
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