Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'forgiveness'.
Found 4 results
I was in the abuse small group of women in Celebrate Recovery tonight when a woman in the group began sharing things that really triggered me. First of all, she didn't share about her own experiences, which is part of the usual instructions in the opening of the group. She shared about her daughter's experiences being molested, and she shared about them graphically. I practically ran out the door after a bit of this. I got home and called my old sponsor from AA. I shared what was going on in my head and I shared that I was going to go to Taco Bell and "medicate" my feelings with a taco salad. She validated my feelings and didn't shame me for stuffing most of them. In fact, she stayed on the phone with me as I left the house again to go to the store and get some Ben & Jerry's. Later on in the evening I was reading a book that talks about forgiveness, anger and letting go of fear (Marianne WIlliamson's book A Return To Love). I realized that I am angry at my Mom for not knowing about the abuse that happened to me at around ages 3 and 4, and I'm also angry at her because she didn't protect me from it. It's so confusing; I love my Mom and I respect my Mom, but I'm also disgusted with her too. I chatted with a friend over Facebook and shared my feelings about my Mom. This friend had a rough childhood growing up. He now has over 20 years in Al-Anon. He said he understood my feelings and that he was able to let go of his anger at his Mom for not protecting him by realizing that if she could have done any better at the time, she would have. He said what "She had was/is a disease that limited her ability to do better than she did." My Mom isn't an alcoholic, but I would say that she has the disease of "al-anon-ism", if that's a term. My grandpa was an alcoholic and my grandma had a mental illness, so my mother's perceptions and reactions in life were probably skewed quite a bit. I'm asking the Holy Spirit to help me to see and love my Mom the way God does. I read about forgiveness tonight and I actually felt forgiveness for my cousin (and my ex-husband too). I'm hoping it sticks. It will save me a lot of grief and money in therapy, lol. I'll stay in the moment. Tomorrow will take care of itself. God is good. God is love. I am good. I am love. My Mom is good. My Mom is love. My cousin is good. My cousin is love. Love really is the answer
Dear Perpetrator: I have no clue of what you may be doing now that you are no longer in my life; however, I have no desire to know or honestly do I care. I do, however, want to express how you have personally impacted my life since the attack. Ultimately, I want to express gratitude. Yes, you heard me correctly. I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. The night you so kindly took advantage of me as tears stung my eyes and I expressed cries of "no," I did not know that within due time, something would happen to me to get to the point I am now. See, perpetrator, I have been a people pleaser my entire life. Of course, you knew that because you took something so delicate.... Someone who would give the shirt off of her back to help others and would do anything in the world for someone that asked for her help... Someone who would put others' needs before her own without batting an eyelash... Someone who was involved so vastly in the community and offered a helping hand, regardless of her own personal problems or issues... You took someone like that, and you broke her. You allowed her world to fall apart around her, bringing her down to her knees. I never thought I would be sitting here now, thanking you for destroying a part of me that I will never have back until I understood the truth of the matter. Due to the fact my entire life has been catered around doing for others and making sure others' needs are accounted for instead of worrying about my own self, I realized that ultimately, I was the one that was to blame for such. I was weak.. I was weak because I allowed others to judge me and make me feel inferior. I allowed what others thought of me to dictate my life in every way. Now that I realized that my happiness is no longer altered by how others view me as a person, but rather my happiness comes from my own heart and those who bring out the best in me, I could never be more satisfied. I found that those that only cared for me in order to use me no longer were worth my time. I also learned that you were no longer worth my time either. Actually, you were never worth my friendship. I have found my strength in times of sorrow... Whether it be waking up in the middle of the night and sweating due to terrible nightmares and flashbacks of the situation, or whether it be getting out of bed when I felt as though my world was ending, I found strength in the hopeless times. For you see, Perp, I forgive you. I forgive you, so now I can move on with my life and enjoy the simple blessings that are so graciously provided. I forgive you, so now I can inspire others that may go through a similar situation or warn them about my situation ahead of time. I forgive you because I have found my strength in my weakness. In the past, I had blamed myself for the situation that happened you had caused. I am grateful that my eyes have now been opened, and I owe you all of the credit, for this was 110% your fault, which is why I am writing to you now. You should understand that you are so sick for wanting to ruin my life, which is why I forgive you because I refuse to let you ruin it. I also refuse to sit back and let you do this to someone else. Now that I know my story will inspire others, I hope it will inspire you as well. You need to understand, Perp, that when a girl says "no," she means NO. When a girl cries, that means she is unresponsive to your forcefulness, so stop. As I said, Perp, I do not know where you are right now in life nor do I care to know. You are blocked on all forms of my social media, and you will stay that way... Nor shall I ever call you by your real name, for you are far undeserving of anything but the name, Perpetrator. Be thankful I call you Perp sometimes for short. At least that nickname isn't AS bad. You have shown me what it feels like to be so broken, but you have also shown me what it's like to have strength because I found I did not have any other choice. I refuse to allow your thoughts to demean me anymore or make me feel undeserving, for I AM deserving, and you are not. Not in the least bit. Wherever you are right now, perpetrator, I want to let you know that you will always feel guilt for what you did to me. It will eat at you each day for the rest of your life as it should. However, I am moving on due to the fact I have forgiven you. You are no longer worth my time or energy because you are not worth it.... And I, on the other hand, have found strength in my weakness, hope for the helpless, and a faith far bigger than anything I have ever imagined. Sincerely, Marilyn
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" This verse is running around in circles in my head I hate when we argue and get into such fights I feel bad about all the awful things that were said "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" A simple saying meant to act as one's moral guide I know I should apologize - I genuinely want to What is standing in my way is swallowing my pride "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" This certainly holds true the other way around Especially when I feel hurt, I appreciate a simple hug I know exactly what I need to do for you deep down "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Now I mentally imagine myself in your shoes I am attempting to see myself from your point of view For my actions, my words - there was no excuse No matter how provoked I may have felt, No matter what you may have said to me first, I apologize for my behavior - unacceptable it was There was no excuse for the way in which I cursed I love you too much, care about you too deeply To play this game of who will be the first to cave Life is too short and yesterday is history Let us start fresh - for this is a brand new day Please accept my apology and let us move on Whether you'll apologize as well I haven't a clue But this verse is running around in circles in my head: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"