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Found 21 results

  1. So hi i guess. so im a sexual abuse survivor. its taken me almost 20 mins just to type that out. it had happened most of my childhood than restarted with my first boyfriend. I'm married now and have a wonderful husband who is understanding of my trama but after all these years sex scares me. I still have issues being touched even with therapy. I don't know if all of this goes here i just wanted to get it off my chest. so yeah.
  2. Hi there. This is my first post. I found aftersilence after my therapist suggested I find an online community where I can post anonymously and connect with other survivors. I'm currently struggling with Complex PTSD symptoms and awakening to the fact that I was sexually abused by my teacher when I was 12 years old. The abuse happened repeatedly over the period of a full year. I repressed the whole thing for 11 years, and was suddenly hit with a flashback at the age of 23. I've struggled with my mental health since I was 18 and I'm just beginning to understand why. I now understand all of my me
  3. Hi there ๐Ÿ˜Š I'm from the UK, and I just needed some place to feel safe to talk about my experiences. โค๏ธ
  4. Stephenjames

    OCD...

    I need to put a sex offender in prison to right the OCD/brain chemistry in my brain. I don't know what is wrong with my brain. I have been fighting it now for over 26 years. The doctors won't give me a diagnosis. I've had OCD for as long as I can remember, its horrible. For the past 19 years I have been trying to get someone who sexually abused me put in prison so that my brain will right again and I can fight off the anxiety and depression and all manner of symptoms in my head. It's really frustrating as no one seems to believe me that it is true. The worst part is that it was the Police that
  5. I wanted to join the RAF and become a fighter pilot but a mental case got in my way.... Still trying to fight for justice against the Social Services, the health service, the Police, the department for education, the tourrete rapist, the diseased turd etc.. the list goes on and on.... Still can't quite fathom out how to get solicitor on my side so I can fight for justice and compensation... Need to get the Tourette rapist and diseased turd out of my head and system... I need stop the constant harassment and verbal abuse from the social services... Need to put the Tour
  6. I was 14 years old and studying for my GCSEs the day that the diseased turd was brought into my class room. I have since been told that it was brought to my school with the sole purpose of raping my face. It was the local social services, they had set me up. I don't for what reason or under what law they were able to do such things. It really doesn't make any sense to me. I had wanted to join the RAF since the age of 6, I was my long term goal. It's what I had dreamed of doing, its what I studied for. I didn't have a plan 'B' I didn't however have an interest in David Spring's cartoo
  7. I could have gone home a started my long recovery in early October 1996. I could have got well again. I would have only been 20 years old. I had my entire life ahead of me. I would have been in joyous recovery after 18 months of mental torment and not being able to breath. I was fighting for breath 24/7 for 18 months. Peter O'Brian CPN and who ever his team were, set me up at Derriford Hospital on the 28th October 1996 for 24 hour sleep deprived electroencephalogram. It's now 2017 and I have yet to recover... I don't know how a mental health team could be so irresponsible to put som
  8. Really angry and upset as I right this. I have had to recently call the Police out due to abusive neighbours and verbally abusive social workers. The Police don't seem to have yet to have solved the problem, I will have to call the Police again. We moved to a new address back in December 1998, it was the day before my 23rd birthday that we moved in. I thought it would be a fresh start, a chance to start again and move on from past abuse. I have since found out that my mother had been asked by the family of the female perpetrator that abused me for my mother to move my family out of my hom
  9. I really wish my sister could have left me alone when I was 10 years old and not have made me wear hair gel to school to humiliate me. It has really damaged my hair and my mental health, there really was no need for it. Both my father and sister ganged up on me and forced the hair gel onto my head. It was really upsetting. Apparently someone at Primary school in the 4th year said that I had nice hair. I don't know what psychiatric condition my sister has but she went mental and found it necessary to smother my head in hair gel o ruin my hair. I was only 10 years old, I couldn't defend myself a
  10. I was set up in 2006 by a female perpetrator to be abused, stolen from and made morbidly obese all so the female perpetrator could feel better about herself and so that she could lose some weight. I'm not quite sure how to define selfish by someone who 'uses' another person as a 'fag powered vibrator' in order to sexually satisfy ones self and to have an orgasm, Jesus!. C. would make me sexually abuse myself between its legs in order for it to 'cum'. I was black mailed by the fact that my Policeman father would find out that I was in trouble with illegal substances, I couldn't go home and ask
  11. I am really upset to realise that it has been 19 years since I moved to 8 The Glen, the day Claire G. deliberately and knowingly caused my brain serious harm because she was 'getting high' if you ever. I have been fighting Claire G. off 24 hours a day for 19 years and I'm bloody exhausted. I have just one goal in mind, to put Claire G. and all those involved in prison for sexual abuse. I didn't even know that I was being used a something to laugh at. I didn't have the slightest clue that my sister, Claire G. and her friends and social workers not to mention my own father were situated in the f
  12. I wanted my first kiss to be with Laura S. a really pretty girl at my school whom I fell in love with when I was 12. Instead I was set up by the social services and my abusive sister and carted off to France to be supervised by and forced to have a public snog against my will with an older girl who suited my sister which was abuse. I didn't fancy Belinda G. and if you think I sound ungrateful there was no need for it. Belinda G. wasn't my cup of tea. I wasn't allowed a life of my own, everything I did had to 'arranged' by my Policeman father and social services so that my abusive sister c
  13. Really angry and upset today. Relatives of sex offender/sexual abuser 'C' harassing and verbally abusing me in my local supermarket. Relatives of 'C' shouting and verbally through the walls of my bedroom, relatives of 'C' living on property next to my parents house verbally abusing and shouting at me. Can't seem to escape 'C', have been suffering it now for 25 years. 'C' arranged for me to be raped in my bedroom aged 17 which made me very ill both physically and mentally. 'C' is facing 10 years in prison for a child pornography scam that she set up to try and put me in prison for. 'C' sexually
  14. Claire (Surname?) is a Paedo, I was under-age and I am very angry about it. She defiled my body, mind, brain and spirit with it's diseased brain. Claire (Surname?) needs to be put in prison for the rest of it's unnatural defiled life...
  15. I never knew what I wanted to do for a living. Age 4 I was set up with 'N' and 'E' so that my sister could laugh and pick on me and to make sure I never had a girlfriend. It was done by my Policeman father. I was told that if I didn't do what my sister told me to do I would be made to go to war to be shot and killed. Age 13 I joined the Air Training Corps with a view to joining the Royal Air Force to be a Pilot. I always knew I wasn't bright enough to be a pilot, but I thought I would kid myself anyways. Apparently my CO said that I wasn't bright enough to get into the RAF, I would have to joi
  16. I don't know the first thing about writing a blog. All I know is I survived. There is more of me broken than functional - but something small, somewhere inside me persists that that will not always be the case. So here I am, writing about it. (For all intents and purposes, and I still wan't nothing to do with them, my abuser will be called "X") I was with someone, who didn't care. I was with SEVERAL someones who didn't care, at least about me. However, this one in particular had brought me lower than I have ever been. We met under incredibly ordinary circumstances, nowhere I would c
  17. Hi all. My name is Brandi and I am a child abuse and sexual abuse survivor. I am 17 years old and I am almost 1 and a half years free. I am a bit nervous to be starting this as ive never fully dealt with it. I have a son who is 3 months old (not from the sexual abuser) I was abused for about 4 years between 7th-10th grade. The middle of tenth grade I finally had proof for my mother as telling her a few times before did not seem to be enough. And I was moved in with my aunt it took almost 6 months for my abuser to move out into his own home and for me to be able to move back into my moth
  18. It's long, but it's pretty much everything on my mind. I don't know how to handle what's happened to me. The self-blame and the invalidation i feel is overwhelming. I feel unworthy to tell other sexual violence survivors my story because.....it doesn't seem....as bad of a story as other people. I would feel guilty about complaining about what happened to me because it's nothing near as bad as what other women have gone through - yet what happened still hurts in a profound way. I_Guess_I'm_Going_to_Say_This.mp4
  19. It's only been 3 days since I've started up my weight-loss/fitness journey and I'm actually feeling like it's working out for me. The other times I've tried I merely failed and knew I wasn't really dedicated to it or I was doing it for someone else. This time I'm doing it for me. I have flat feet and some exercises really hurt but I started walking which is quite easy on the joints. I'll look into getting some gel pads and a basin to soak my feet in afterwards. Whatever happens, I can't allow myself to quit. Obviously 90% of successful weight-loss is diet so I'm starting to eat on small salad
  20. Hello all. I have awoken from my slumber. I am a victim of inhumane physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. I am also a kidnapping victim. I wrote a poem for myself and maybe, it will help others. I don' tknow where to turn or what to do. Here's my poem, to help others, maybe. I will come back for you. I know how frightened you are, I can hear you screaming, I know how confused you soon will become, they did this. I know the tip of the needle will hurt you so badly, And I know that your going to lose your life even if you don't. I know your nights are filled with terror and tears, I know all yo
  21. From the album: Crystals for healing

    This is one of the best crystals for healing sexual trauma, heartache of all kinds, and grief.

    © MagickalGoodies

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