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Found 6 results

  1. My father died 5 years ago and yet he continues to effect my life. I guess a brief recap is needed for this to make sense My mother died in January 1971. My father remarried in September 1971 From the first time my sister met our stepmother until her death 2 years ago; my sister was disrespectful and didn't make any effort to have any kind of relationship My oldest brother and sister saw my parents for about an hour 3 times a year. My younger and I made an effort to keep our parents involved in our lives 1997 my youngest brother died suddenly from a heart
  2. Leia Skywalker

    So What

    I had a tough night last night. My brain did not want to be in the state I wanted it to be in. I had a panic attack. Again for the third night in a row this week. For some reason he could not leave my thoughts alone, I am not sure why this week had to be the week. I thought that maybe I should text someone and I began to but realized no one wanted to hear this, G-d knows I hated talking about it so why would someone want to listen. Since realizing what has happened to me I would tell close people as an attempt for them to understand the small things that I do in life and why. Li
  3. Survive95

    Dear Dad

    One thing I learned Helped me coupe with my feelings was to write a letter to my dad that sa me as a young child but I never mail it off I just put it away somewhere I can’t see but I know where it’s at so here’s another as I lay here and cringe at the thought of going to sleep because I’m afraid to have another bad dream because of what you have done to me I think about how badly I wanted to believe you were a good guy and that you had changed that maybe I could have the dad I always wanted the one that plays dress up with there daughter or even goes to the store and buy pads for there
  4. I don't know where I will be in a few months, all I know is that I have to leave. I have to leave and get to a new place. Not just to start fresh, but because I can't end up like the rest of them. If I stay then I admit defeat, I admit that I can't do it. I won't let it happen. I will leave. Every time I come back to this town it literally hurts, my heart sinks and it becomes to breathe. This town is literally trying to kill me. If I get stuck here then what? Will I ever feel better, or accomplish anything? I don't want to be famous, I don't want to be a billionaire, I just want to
  5. I don't know why it always seem to be worse around night, maybe there is a reason to that question but that isn't really relevant. Whenever I seem to come to the night I become scared, I lock all the doors around and me and try to feel safe. People have begun to notice how I always close doors and make sure doors and windows are locked, it isn't cause I like privacy its cause I am scared. Part of me wants people to notice how scared I am, I want to tell people that I am scared. But I am scared of that. What if they use that fact against me. That's what he did, he used all my weaknes
  6. Things are starting to link up in my mind, behaviors and feelings that I have make sense. Why I do things and why I don't do things. Every time I come home I lock every door, even when a family member is right behind me. I never open my door. I always carry a pen in my hand. I never look people in the eye when walking. Cause I am scared. I know he can't hurt me, but I can't stop thinking about it. Its why I want so desperately to leave town. Its why I don't feel safe, not at home, work or school. Only in my car. The one place he never touched. I don't kn
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