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Showing results for tags 'child sexual abuse'.
Found 16 results
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trigger warning I think they went too easy on him
asparkofcourage posted a blog entry in A Weight Lifted
Basically 3 big things have happened while I've been not documenting this journey over the past few months. 1) Apparently I did tell my maternal aunt that my brother was abusing me when I was around 11 or 12. She knew the whole time and didn't bring it up with anyone. I didn't remember telling her all this time. LAME. 2) I confronted my parents. They said they didn't remember me telling them about my bro when I was younger. My mom made some excuses for my brother like "boys do stupid things" "he was watching bad shows." etc. but eventually did apologize to me and understood I -
trigger warning EMDR Episode 3: My CSA Memory
asparkofcourage posted a blog entry in A Weight Lifted
Specified Memory: First memory of being sexually abused Distress level: 8 Memory makes me feel like no one cares about me. Worst part was looking at brother for help. No one helped me. No one cares about me. ________________________________________________________________________________ Bilateral Eye Movement 1: Brother putting a blanket over me and taking off my pants. ________________________________________________________________________________ Bilateral Eye Movement 2: He's touching me and making me touch him. ___________________________ -
This is an excellent book. The author, Jody Plauche, was sexually abused by his karate teacher for over a year and then kidnapped for about a week. His father, famously, shot the karate teacher on live tv in an airport. This was Jody's story from his point of view. He talked about the abuse, kidnapping, the murder and then the end of the book are chapters for parents and survivors. He talks about signs to look out for, the way of thinking for predators and how to move forward from abuse. Very inspiring story and its a very easy read. There are semi-graphic descriptions of his abuse, bu
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trigger warning The Letter that made me Disappear
asparkofcourage posted a blog entry in A Weight Lifted
(Multiple lies) throughout this letter regarding time duration, the acts he committed, and not admitting to doing the same to my cousin as well. His (self pity) was overflowing. The (manipulation) is masterful. Poor childhood self. You were so strong for handling this with the limited tools you had. Thank you for pulling through the awful time period. M****** (Me), I just received your letter last night when I got home from work. I know that deep down in my heart I was forgiven by you and I am so gracious for -
I've got some things to say to you both. Questions and general statements. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why didn't you believe me? Why didn't you believe my cousin? How could you not notice it? Or see my pain? Or protect me? Do you know I almost killed myself several times? Why would you think I'd lie about being abused? Can you sincerely apologize to me? What can you do to fix our relationship? Why can't you have a serious conversation with me? __________
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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. By Lindsay Gibson PsyD. This book hit home for me. It gave me a lot of tips for dealing with the future talk I will have with my parents and showing me the unhealthy relationship that we have with each other. The biggest take away from this book is me realizing the healing fantasy I have for my parents. I act a certain way for my parents in hope that they will acknowledge and take care of me. I need to understand that with immature parents this is impossible. It doesn't help me to change who I am in order to been seen by people who
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I spoke to my cousin about what she thought of justice. She told me justice for her was me healing and taking back my life. Why was she so invested in me? I had no clue what she went through but now I know that she is my hero and the only person to show me unconditional love. Here's some of what happened. The first time my cousin discovered I was being abused was when she spent the night at my house. She woke up to my brother on top of me, 'doing things to me." She kicked him off of me but to no avail. He continued. She yelled at him to stop and when he wouldn't, she said to do it to h
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trigger warning Another thing I loved, Ruined.
asparkofcourage posted a blog entry in A Weight Lifted
Hello. I've been reading and thinking and contemplating about my life. About all the things that have happened to me. I'm currently a stay at home dog mom with little to no friends and all the time in the world. Now that I've been spending so much time with myself, I've realized... I don't even know me all that well. I think I got so caught up with my husband's dr. career that I've lost a sense of what I wanted to do with my own life. And then searching through my own thoughts about what I want for myself have made me realize that I've never been able to pursue what I love because it was -
Well, first off, I don't remember much. Just a few very vivid images, a lot of crying and watching myself from the corner of the room. My abuser was my oldest brother. I was 9 and he was 14 or 15 at the time. The most of one incident I remember is when my 2 other brothers were playing videogames and were completely engrossed in it. My 3rd brother (the oldest) put a blanket on top of me on his bed and told everyone in the room he was just going to massage me. I was just still, unmoving and very confused. He touched me and made me touch him. I had no clue what to do so he literally
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Creating those tags is my way of reminding myself that this is real. It was last year when I told the man that I loved the awful truth about my sexual past, it was something that I had to get off my chest, in return he told me that I had been raped. I have never doubted the sexual abuse that I went through when I was 9, but I had to be convinced that I was raped repeatedly by my boyfriend when I was 14. It took even more convincing to believe that I was gang raped a few months later by him along with two other guys who I considered friends. I always looked at it as teenage stupidit
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hi everyone, im new here. finally decided to take the step to talk about my experience and i’m really nervous. i’m in therapy and on antidepressants but my ptsd hinders the progress i’ve made esp today since i had a looped nightmare of my sexual abuse. i’m just tired of feeling alone and i hope that i can feel like i belong somewhere. thanks for listening
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who rightfully owns this shame, ME or you (abusers)? lets explore this for a moment you (abusers) sought amusement by sexually abusing a 4/5 year old let that sink in was your wife not enough for your sexual pleasure? im not an advocate for prostitution (far from it!) but, could you not have turned to another consenting adult? sure, you would have had to pay for it, but you had plenty of money (at least somebody could have gotten financially compensated) is it that you are so sexually repulsive to another consenting adult? are you not aware that chi
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well hello!! i would ask you how you are, but I already know miserable i was thinking about you though thinking about how pathetic it is to abuse the innocent for your pleasure there are so many other things in the world to make oneself feel good -sitting outside and feeling the sunshine on your bare skin -walking on the sand while listening to the crashing waves -feeling somebody melt into your arms when you hug (instead of freeze when touched) -the ability to look in the mirror at oneself and smile big out of the many beautiful things in this
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So hi i guess. so im a sexual abuse survivor. its taken me almost 20 mins just to type that out. it had happened most of my childhood than restarted with my first boyfriend. I'm married now and have a wonderful husband who is understanding of my trama but after all these years sex scares me. I still have issues being touched even with therapy. I don't know if all of this goes here i just wanted to get it off my chest. so yeah.
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I been told that trying to remember what happen when I was a child is a bad idea. That it's better to just let it lay. Well , me being me, I have to know. Damn the torpedoes Full Speed Ahead. I am a 55 year construction worker, I have been married to my wife for 30 years. She is a polar/manic depressive. Which she refuse to treat till about 10 years ago. We have a 28 year old profoundly mentally handicapped child. I physically sexually and psychologically abused starting at about 2 years old by my stepfather and elder siblings.a brother who was 18 months older and a sister 2.5 years
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(tw to myself: graphic memory details of child on child sexual abuse, don't read unless you're in a good place) . . . . . . . . When my brother and I were young, we used to play with Barbies and makeup. I also used to cover my entire waist with a towel when stepping out of the shower and would pretend to be a princess when playing with this one kid, Tyler. One day, we were playing a game, and Tyler made me do things that I had repressed. The only thing I could remember for the longest time was him holding me down while spi
