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Found 42 results

  1. Hello all. I found this site via an internet search. I was really just looking for a chat room, because it helps me personally to have anonymous chat, especially with people who have actually been through what I have/can more directly relate to my experiences. I have been having a pretty horrible time dealing with a lot of things, and feelings surrounding my assault/reporting are definitely at the foreground of that. However, I also saw that I don't think I am able to access chat unless I post 10 or more topics. So, here I am, to start. I hope you all are doing well. I will now say that my reading, memory, and cognition have honestly been affected by PTSD/other mental health related problems, but I am trying my best to reach out and do whatever it takes to fight through this hell of a time in my life. Thanks in advance for whoever reads this and for even having a site like this in the first place. I look forward to exploring the site and potentially getting to know some of you more in the future. -Raya
  2. Hi everyone. I'm Su, and I'm really happy to be here. I heard about After Silence through a Reddit forum for survivors called r/rape (Reddit is a popular site for all different kinds of forums, ranging from pop culture and news to anonymous chatroom therapy - that's what r/rape was). Although r/rape was somewhat helpful in the beginning - I felt validated and comforted by the other survivors there - we were often bullied and tormented by trolls and perverts who would take our venting/ranting posts and turn them into sick jokes and sexual fantasies. Reddit is a very loose website so it was easy for anyone to make an account, enter the rape counseling forums, and wreck havoc. I received two verbally abusive messages from two different perverts on Reddit. They were unfortunately very graphic and they sent me into a terrible panic attack, I was screaming and crying. I posted the details about the messages from the Reddit perverts onto The Aftermath thread. Anyways, I'm really glad I signed up for AS. The Reddit forums were like fortresses constantly under attack by perverts who wanted to harass me and other survivors. AS is like a safe haven. I feel much better already. I'm from Istanbul, Turkey, but now I live in the United States. My assault happened back in 2017 by someone I thought was my friend. I've made a lot of progress in the past year - my nightmares and panic attacks are not as frequent as they used to be - but, like I said, sometimes there are setbacks, like when those perverts bullied me. But I'm blessed to have people around me who support me, and I'm again very happy to be here. I am studying law and I want to help women and children all around the world, especially in Turkey and the rest of the Middle East. International politics is very important to me. I want to protect young girls from going through what I did, and to change my country's patriarchal culture. There is lots of abuse against women in Turkey and the Middle East but we are fighting back! 💕
  3. Hey everyone, My name is Danah, and I'm proud to say that I'm processing my trauma in therapy, after avoiding it for so long. I used to feel a paralyzing fear, whenever I attempted to "go there" in the past. But this time feels different, I feel really angry and brave at the same time. Like I'm ready to go to war or something. I've been on the road to recovery: healthy diet, medication, meditation, exercise, and therapy. And I felt this urgency to join a support group. I'm Middle Eastern, and the nature of my trauma is quite difficult to discuss with other people in my country, to say the least. I'm exploding with excitement now that I have a place to speak. I can't wait to get to know all of you, learn from your experiences, and be part of this community, where normalizing experiences and being supportive are the norm. I'm excited, angry, scared, shy, and nervous. But for the first time, it feels so good.
  4. stormyfire


    Hi there everyone, Grateful to be here in this community, even though it's new and scary. It's hard not to feel alone when I'm always walking through the world with this invisible weight. I tend to be shy but I want to share my story here sometime soon. Also, I am trans, and use they/them pronouns (: Thanks for taking the time to read
  5. Here to work on finding peace with what's happened to me and keep rebuilding. Looking forward to getting to know you!
  6. HelenX


    Hello everyone, I am excited to be part of this community. I am (finally) coming to terms with my own experiences and it is great to find an online network of supportive people. Thank you to everyone who has made this possible.
  7. Len/Jack


    Um, hi everyone. My name is Len and I’m nineteen years old. I got this account for the blog a couple months ago but only just got up the courage to start posting. I hope this will help me, though I’m not really sure of what exactly I am doing to be honest. It’s nice to meet you though
  8. Hello, I'm Len and I recently found this resource through the suicide prevention hotline. I hope I'll be able to find support and provide my support to others as well. I am transgender (ftm) and decided to sign up for this site to share my story and also show others that they are not alone.
  9. Hello! I'm Rach. I was sexually assaulted last April and have been on the path to recovery ever since. I'm a university student so I've luckily had the support of the school's advocacy program for legal support, counseling for therapy, and the health department for anxiety medication I recently got on. I'm graduating in May and want to continue being a member of a supportive community, which is how I came across this site. I hope to become acquaintances with you all and give and receive support when needed!
  10. Hi, I signed up and was accepted to AS about a month ago, but I’m just now finding the courage to post an intro. I’ve been afraid talking about what happened and the trauma would make things worse. However, things have to get worse before they can get better I guess. I’ve tried to bury things down for so long but now I feel I’m ready to start healing and bettering my mental health. Thank you all in advance for creating a strong, supportive environment. ~D
  11. Hi all, I discovered this place in the early hours whilst recovering from a full day of body sensory flashbacks and ptsd. I suppose I best had start by talking about what happened, it happened nearly a year ago now. I'm gracing the good days with my full heart and savouring the comfortable mindfulness, when the bad days happen I tell myself there will be a better day and try to self soothe as much as possible. I have a 6yo to keep me busy, he is my world. It happened at home and I'm still living in the same place currently, I would be interested to see if anybody else had this happen to them in their own home and have any advice on coping mechanisms. Nice to meet you all, K x
  12. Hello, this is my first time really reaching out to other people like me or people who have gone through what I have. Ill try to keep my introduction short and leave my full story for the other forum. I'm Cam and I am a 17 year old male living in the North East part of Alabama. It happened to me around 4 years ago, and since then i have only been comfortable telling one person (untill now) that is my gf who has been really supportive and helpful to me. She suggested the other day that I might feel a little better by reaching out and talking to other survivors and friends of survivors. Maybe I will also be able to help other people who want to talk as well. So here I am! Thank you again for your time. 🙂
  13. So, I'm not really sure how to go about this.. I have some issues, after being put through alot, like most people here, and I've come to this website because.. Well, I need to talk about it, I guess, and because I want to help others heal
  14. Hello! I am new to this site so I am still fumbling around hoping that I am doing things by the rules. I haven't participated in anything like this in the past and I am excited to see what things this brings! Thank you for welcoming me into this community!
  15. Hello everyone, Im Jessica and nice to meet everyone. So I joined a bit ago and have been reluctate to use this. Now that I am I find myself feeling.. broken? I guess that's a good term for it. I was sexually assaulted three years ago around this time. I never reached out for help. I told my ex boyfriend and other old friends, but that only made matters worse. I think this is a big step for me and I'm still coming to terms of why I am herr, even though I do know why. Besides that, I love my dogs and my family. I work full time at a restaurant And I'm also in school pursuing a degree in counseling (ironically, I need to heal before helping others). And I really just want to heal. I look forward to healing with everyone. Thank you
  16. Hi all, back on here after a long time away (6 years) and hope to start healing again and finding some support. Thank you
  17. Hi, I'm cirrus. I'm 19 and identify as nonbinary. It's coming up on one year since everything happened. I'm looking for a place to tell my story and hopefully find others with similar experiences. Since I'm making this post anyway, I have a quick question: where would be the appropriate forum to post my story? It could be very triggering and I wouldn't want to upset anyone.
  18. soodles


    Hi everyone. I have been struggling a lot lately and just decided that maybe it is time to be more open about things that have happened in my past. I am thankful for this community already. I know I need to get better and support will go a long way.
  19. Soatsaki


    Hi, This is all quite new for me. Even though this is internet and I'm behind a computer, sharing my experience is still quite intimidating. Plus, internet can be mean. The assault happened about 10 years ago, at a church. I was too young to understand, but the experience haunts me none the less. What's worse is I found out later on that he assaulted another girl at a different place. Logically I understand that I'm not responsible for his action; but I can't help but feel that my silence came with a price. I'm working on putting this behind me and moving on. However, it is really difficult. I feel like I see him at every street corners. And sadly, sometimes I do. I'm not sure how this site and community is supposed to work. But here I am. Thank you
  20. Hi, I'm 41 years old survivor of being molested almost all my childhood, and teen years by my stepfather. Who also abused my mom the whole time as well. I'm trying to find away to deal with and get past stuff. My stepfather died a year ago and it kind of brought things to a boiling point and I've seen had a lot harder of a time handling everything.
  21. Any journey must start somewhere and here is the beginning of my journey of writing a blog. I've never done this before, so bear with me. I plan to use this as a journal in which I can freely express the feelings and struggles, and victories that I face day to day. My T told me the other day that I'm in the chrysalis stage and soon will emerge a new girl. There have been so many changes in my life lately, so many more that are needed. Some days the pain is so heavy and the tears won't stop. Other days are sunny and my life is full of blessings. Sometimes it takes all the strength I can gather just to get up out of bed and keep going. And yet, I do keep going and look for challenges to conquer, new things to learn. So, just a little bit about me as an introduction. I am a CSA survivor who just started going to counseling a little over a year ago. I struggled with why now? I've made it through life for 35 years since it happened. Why am I struggling so much now? Regardless of the answer, I am choosing to get help NOW. Someone shared a quote by C.S. Lewis that has been a good reminder to me: "You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." I'm facing a lot of changes presently: looking for a new job, trying to get financially independent so that I can live on my own, learning to set boundaries, learning to do self-care, etc. The path I am walking has so many twists and turns that I can't see ahead and have to trust that it will lead me to a good place. I play the piano, harp and mountain dulcimer. Music is such a help, but so often I've been too busy to play. I want to change that and make music a priority once again. I also have a mandolin that I am hoping to learn how to play soon. I am a Christian and my faith has helped me through some of my darkest days. But I will be honest and admit that lately I've been asking God, "Why?" in regards to my past. I don't have all the answers and I may never understand the "why". There will be times when I may refer to God or the Bible, because both are such a major part of who I am. I want this blog to give a complete picture of my life, the good and the bad. So now I will continue on this journey looking forward to the dawn of a new day.
  22. Hi, I'm not sure how to start here... I was sexually abused as a child and kept silent for many years. I did eventually tell my mom, but still didn't talk about it much. Basically I just tried to forget and move on with life. But I couldn't forget. I've been going to counseling for over a year now and am trying to be more open to others about my past. For so long I struggled (still do) with guilt and shame, even though I know it was in no way my fault. I'm hoping that by joining this group that I will find my voice even if it is just through writing.
  23. Hello, my name is B and I'm new here. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse and other types of abuse. I'm hoping to connect with other survivors.
  24. Hi there, everyone. This is my first time on a support message board, but I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment and think some support from people who know what I'm going through might help. I'm seeing a therapist but due to my job situation I can't see her as often as I'd like. Looking forward to read some success stories on here and be inspired. Have a great week!
  25. Hi, I'm Faye. I've been sexually assaulted three times in my life. I'm glad to have found this community; thanks to all of you for making it happen. Feeling alone in the aftermath of a trauma is very painful indeed. It's been almost five years since the last time, but it creeps up on me sometimes, still. The whole election thing - the "grabbing" and the alleged assaults by our almost-President and his sickening words used to deny - really triggered me. I've been dealing with strong memories, and I'm angry, and I'm hurting again, in spite of the time passed. Anyhow. Glad to be here. Thank you.
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