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angelicarit

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About angelicarit

  • Rank
    Fighting to Shine
  • Birthday 09/08/1971

Contact Methods

  • MSN
    aritmat2@hotmail.com
  • Website URL
    http://
  • ICQ
    0

Profile Information

  • Location
    Upper Peninsula Michigan
  • Interests
    Art, books, movies
  1. Hello Melanie~ Welcome to AS...you will find wonderfully supportive and encouraging people here. You are definitely not alone. Tira
  2. angelicarit

    Unsure

    Welcome to AS, hon. One thing that you need to remember is that you cannot compare each person's abuse. It is awful no matter what. I agree with all these members are saying including the fact that you would be surprised as to what experiences are considered sexual abuse. I can guarantee you will find what you are looking for here. These members are awesome and have and are helping through my healing journey. What is nice is that these members are on all different levels of healing, so if a step is hard for you they will support you and encourage to make that step. It is awesome. So like everyone said, look around, you will find as I am sure you already have that the people here are amazing. Welcome Tira
  3. I am a little surprised to see how many of us were victims of our biological father. Now I don't feel as much as a freak. Willow~ I agree with everyone on when or if you want to confront your family, it is a tough thing to have to decide and the reproccussions are almost as devastating as the abuse itself. My father is the perpetrator of s*****, physical, and a lot of mental abuse. So believe me when I say that I understand. My mother is still with him and I have heard every line that has kept me for years avoiding healing and keeping it all in a proverbial box. It is awful, my councilor and therapists are both survivors and they said this is one of the worst kinds of perpetrators. Society and our religions teach us to love our parents, that is what begins one of biggest conflicts are minds are ever going to have to deal with. It is a battle that I am still dealing with today. I worried about how my mom would react and still do, when I tried "telling" at 13 she was angry, threatened and put a lot of guilt on me. As a matter of fact she still does 20 years later. That part is something that I am working hard on dealing with because my mom did know a long time prior to my dad telling her. (He was afraid that my husband would bring it up in court, keep in mind that was 13 years ago and my husband and I survived our ordeal and are a very strong couple) To this day my mother still tries to get me to understand where my father is coming from with all of years of abuse and claims that he didn't know any better. It is still said that he stopped it, when in fact I did by becoming less and less available. I still can't believe he takes the credit. As for my siblings, my younger sister claims she hit the abusive history head on. Don't think so, one she was very well protected by my mom and my younger brother left the house as soon as he could. Recently my mom has told me that my siblings didn't take a quarter of the abuse that I did. If I was suppose to find comfort in that...I haven't. What I am trying to say is that you don't have to feel obligated to tell them, what you should feel obligated to do is heal. That doesn't mean to subject yourself to situations that involve your family and leave you vulnerable. Your main concern should be you. As for flashbacks etc...I still am fighting through those. My therapist is going to teach me coping skills so that the flashbacks and nightmare etc are not as mentally mind blowing. As for your teacher...that was a very moron-ish thing to say. Does that fit under ignorance is bliss? Just remember this...you don't have to deal with it alone. I agree with everyone in regards to counciling. I have started about a month ago (after years of being not ready and dealing with therapist that I wasn't comfortable with) and I can say that it is the best thing that I have ever done for myself. I am excited about the opportunity to gain coping skills and feeling (which a few member know that I am having a tough time with that one). Here is what I was told by my therapist...my councilor and my therapist are guides, they will guide me through the dark forest and down the road I will start to like myself and feel stronger than I have ever felt before. Keep that in mind. Sorry for rambling about myself, I could relate all too well. Tira
  4. I am a little surprised to see how many of us were victims of our biological father. Now I don't feel as much as a freak. Willow~ I agree with everyone on when or if you want to confront your family, it is a tough thing to have to decide and the reproccussions are almost as devastating as the abuse itself. My father is the perpetrator of s*****, physical, and a lot of mental abuse. So believe me when I say that I understand. My mother is still with him and I have heard every line that has kept me for years avoiding healing and keeping it all in a proverbial box. It is awful, my councilor and therapists are both survivors and they said this is one of the worst kinds of perpetrators. Society and our religions teach us to love our parents, that is what begins one of biggest conflicts are minds are ever going to have to deal with. It is a battle that I am still dealing with today. I worried about how my mom would react and still do, when I tried "telling" at 13 she was angry, threatened and put a lot of guilt on me. As a matter of fact she still does 20 years later. That part is something that I am working hard on dealing with because my mom did know a long time prior to my dad telling her. (He was afraid that my husband would bring it up in court, keep in mind that was 13 years ago and my husband and I survived our ordeal and are a very strong couple) To this day my mother still tries to get me to understand where my father is coming from with all of years of abuse and claims that he didn't know any better. It is still said that he stopped it, when in fact I did by becoming less and less available. I still can't believe he takes the credit. As for my siblings, my younger sister claims she hit the abusive history head on. Don't think so, one she was very well protected by my mom and my younger brother left the house as soon as he could. Recently my mom has told me that my siblings didn't take a quarter of the abuse that I did. If I was suppose to find comfort in that...I haven't. What I am trying to say is that you don't have to feel obligated to tell them, what you should feel obligated to do is heal. That doesn't mean to subject yourself to situations that involve your family and leave you vulnerable. Your main concern should be you. As for flashbacks etc...I still am fighting through those. My therapist is going to teach me coping skills so that the flashbacks and nightmare etc are not as mentally mind blowing. As for your teacher...that was a very moron-ish thing to say. Does that fit under ignorance is bliss? Just remember this...you don't have to deal with it alone. I agree with everyone in regards to counciling. I have started about a month ago (after years of being not ready and dealing with therapist that I wasn't comfortable with) and I can say that it is the best thing that I have ever done for myself. I am excited about the opportunity to gain coping skills and feeling (which a few member know that I am having a tough time with that one). Here is what I was told by my therapist...my councilor and my therapist are guides, they will guide me through the dark forest and down the road I will start to like myself and feel stronger than I have ever felt before. Keep that in mind. Sorry for rambling about myself, I could relate all too well. Tira
  5. angelicarit

    Hello

    Hello and welcome to AS! Tira
  6. Crystal, welcome to AS, thrilled you are here. Tira
  7. Welcome to AS! You couldn't have found a better and more supportive place. The members here are so wonderful! Tira
  8. angelicarit

    I'm New

    Welcome to AS. You picked an awesome place to be. Tira
  9. I am a mom and a wife, just graduated from Northern Michigan University this past May (with Honors) I am currently working as a desk clerk in the operating room and when I move back to Michigan I will return to my job that I had just after grad at a Medical center as a receptionist/medical records/assistant biller. This kills some of the curiousity, lol. Not all!! Tira
  10. Hi Rogue and welcome to AS. Tira
  11. angelicarit

    Hi

    Hi and welcome, this is the best place to get understand and support. I have only been here for about a week, but they have been very understanding. Even if we can't understand why we emotionally are doing what we are doing, we aren't alone. People at AS can relate. That is one thing that is so freeing. Welcome again. Tira
  12. Welcome hon, it is a very brave thing you did. I agree with everyone being supportive and understanding. This is helpful in the healing process. I am still new (not even here a week) but I have learned a lot already and love being here and the fact that you are not alone is so freeing. My first post I received so much understanding and words of encouragement!!!! I must of laughed and happily cried for hours. Probably looked like a fool! But it is awesome to know that you are "normal" for our histories and not alone!!! So welcome again. I am so proud of you for being here. I also agree that you don't need to post all the time (even though I seem to be going nuts this morning) but knowing they are all here is awesome. Tira
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