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blackavar

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About blackavar

  • Rank
    voodoo child

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    feigning (dis)interest

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  • Website URL
    http://
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    0

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  1. Generally genders are listed in member account profiles. And one can always simply ask. There are quite a few members with ambigious names, so it's not an uncommon thing.
  2. Going to have to agree with the above. But more fundamentally, how are we going to decide what topics are considered "light" and which are "triggering", aside from those subjects that are overtly violent? What may be innocous to you may be traumatic to someone else. Is there even such a thing as a completely "non-triggering" room?
  3. Fair enough footnote. I am in a position where I am able to take that fact for granted, but I suppose not everyone does. The idea is to quit projecting personal experience onto everyone and try not to generalize. I think it is also handy to just stay on topic. If a thread is about rape culture and how men might justify their abusive actions toward women, I find it kind of rude when someone feels the need to pipe up and say "WELL YOU KNOW NOT ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS AND SOMETIMES WOMEN ARE, SO THERE." Yeah. I know. It's a topic worth discussing on a different thread, which I'd be happy to consider and participate in. There's room for everybody to be validated here without invalidating other people in the process. No one needs to shove. I'd hope that people would have enough consideration to understand the context of a thread before making those kinds of remarks, but it does still happen. It's a sensitive issue either way, but there's no reason why each aspect of the topic can't be discussed in its place. If the thread is intended for a general audience, then the issue may be up for debate. If it's narrow in its focus (culture and its relationship to male perps justifiying their activities, for example), then obviously the responses would (or should) be accordingly.
  4. I agree wholeheartedly with this. Every time I see a post that suggests all men are basically fighting every day to stifle their natural-born inner rapist, I am SO tempted to hit the report button. Instead, I argue with as much tact as I can muster. I understand how hard it is to see men as safe when all your experience stacks up against them, and that is why we have forums for the separate genders. Women should feel safe venting or struggling with the nature of men versus what happened to us, while men should feel safe just being here, being themselves. Just a footnote here Not only are not all men abusers, not all women are victims. The implication that women in abusive scenarios are survivors by default is not empowering, not a show of solidarity, not validating by any means, especially to those who have been abused by both genders. It is nothing but lazy stereotyping. Women are abusers as well. Let's not assume that everyone on this site was hurt by a man.
  5. Hello there, I don't think I can add anything relevant to what's already been said. I began by posting my story and then browsing other sections. If you don't feel comfortable with that, options abound. Do what feels right to you. Welcome. -B.
  6. blackavar

    Hi

    Darn lickity straight you're a survivor! Welcome aboard.
  7. blackavar

    Hi

    Well well, I never posted a welcome message under this thread. Better late than never. Hewro.
  8. Welcome. As I'm sure you can see, you're certainly not alone. I hope your time here can bring you some healing and peace.
  9. blackavar

    Hi

    Glad you feel at home on AS already. I hope you're able to find what you're looking for with us.
  10. blackavar

    Hi..

    Hello there. Lovely avatar. Welcome.
  11. Happy belated birthday. Welcome to AS.
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