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  1. Hi. I'm new to this too and I've already found this site to be extremely helpful and informative. If you ever want to talk you can PM me.
  2. lately i have decided that perfect people are less interesting people. i think we have a lot to teach and share with others. i share the discomfort and frustration of others not viewing us that way. but we can turn them around by giving them all the empathy they don't give and being all the healing they don't have and by making all the progress they don't make and being inspirational quietly through surviving with grace. at least, that's my hope. I've always said if we were all perfect, we'd all be soooo boring. And I really like how you think about terms just being semantics. I
  3. agreed. but what i'm saying is it's perfectly normal to have baggage and we should live in a climate where traumas are viewed with sympathy instead of disgust. otherwise, our baggage must be put in a closet and it's harder to lighten your load when you've forced to feel ashamed about it and work on it in isolation. I've had to work in isolation for years with no way to lighten my load. I'm just glad I've gotten to where I'm at now and that I don't consider it baggage but I would much rather be viewed with sympathy or empathy rather than disgust. I'm not damaged goods no matter what any
  4. I have a book you should read. While it is addressing the military side of it, it addressed the abusees becoming the abusers and the similarities between families and the military in abusive situations. It's called "Honor Betrayed...Sexual Abuse in America's Military". For me it was like reading a biography but it has so much information on mentalities of the public and what they think and what survivors have to go through that I think it would be worth your read. The author has nothing to with military and that's what drew me to it. I wish that I had your mentality toward educating othe
  5. And just a side note, it's only baggage if you let it weigh you down. However when we grow and learn and survive it becomes just another life experience hopefully with something positive in the end.
  6. Hi. I just joined but I was reading your forum and I guess I'd like to put in my two cents. I have been in the military and have been a survivor of rape and abuse for a couple years. The military preaches that sexual assault is not tolerated but that is far from the truth and women that come forward usually get labelled inappropriately as well. Most of the guys involved or even not involved see it as a consensual act, that the girl was just a sl*t and trying to salvage her reputation by crying rape, and either way it goes, you get labeled as "that girl". That's why I didn't say anything f
  7. Hi. I did some digging and found this site. I've never had a network of people that have been there and gone through what I have and I thought that this might be a good place to start. I am getting ready to get out of the military and have endured years of abuse including rape and the hands of coworkers and acquaintances. I have dealt with all of it quietly and alone until now and I'm trying to make some forward steps and start the healing process. I am very unemotional in how I remember things and I can talk about everything I've been through without any emotion at all. I've made everyt
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