I am so glad I found this place. I am 42 and have dealt with my child sexual abuse before. I know that things will trigger it back, but through therapy, I am finding that I have never really healed. I am so ready to heal. I am so tired. I don't want him to have the control anymore. I am so tired of being scared of the pain. I am really scared that I won't be able to heal. I have just really started talking about it to ppl I know. Before I would talk to a few ppl, but not many knew. I felt if they knew then they would know the * real me* and that me stills feels dirty, scared and very very bad.