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Everything posted by John

  1. John


    Hey Ash, Welcome to AfterSilence - It's alright not knowing what to say at first I think the majority of us are like that when we first come to AS, and it's only natural really coming into a community as big as this, but don't worry give it time and you'll be feeling apart of the community in no time, this place is really close, and I'm sure you'll be feeling that closeness and unity as survivors we have here in no time. I hope you like it here, and I hope this place helps in your healing John
  2. Hey Renee, Welcome to AfterSilence I'm glad to see you here, and it good to know you've come looking for the support you need, that's a very important step in your healing. With therapy, it's not for everyone, but often it's not until you get in their, that you know what it's all about, I remember I was just like you, refused to talk to anyone about my problems for years, because I didn't wanna be weak, but then one day, the school counsellor pulled me aside after my best friend died and asked me if I wanted to talk, and I did, and honestly, having that introduction into therapy was a really big positive for me, because it got me in this mindset, it's not that I'm weak, it's just I've got more hardships then many people, so it's only nature I need help. I now have ana awesome friendship with my therapist (not the school counsellor) another therapist I've came across, and I don't know where I'd be without her help and guidance. At the end of the day, it's totally up to you, and you need to be comfortable with whatever healing process you're undertaking, but I hope what I've said here has provided some food for thought You know I'm here if you want to talk, John
  3. John


    Hey Steena, I'm glad that you've decided to speak out on this, because the more people who break the silence the better, it's a massive step to take and one I'm glad and proud as a fellow survivor, that you've taken. It wonderful to hear you've decided to speak out the assistance of a local free organisation also, that's wonderful to hear and I hope they can help you in your journey also. All in all I think you're certainly headed on the right trake so well done, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of you here at AS, and I hope we can play a role in helping you in your healing John
  4. Hey Zahra, Sorry I didn't reply earlier, I got abit tied up yesterday and yeah as soon as I got home I was asleep before I knew it, sometimes that happens to me too, like I can just put in a super short signature and it'll still stop it from working, I think sometimes the best thing to do with that is to logout, shut down your browser, and then start again, that'll clear the temp files and the cache of your browser out which can help. There is a limit on the character size of your signature, although I'm not sure what it'd be to be honest, I generally try to keep mine to afew mines, keeps it looking all neat and tidy, as for putting thinks in the signature, you have to put it in in BB code, for more information click here and it should work. If you have any further issues please feel free to PM me John
  5. John


    Hey Liz, It sounds like to me you've got some amazing friends and family, who love you very much, but I can totally relate to, as I am sure many people here can, that fact you're seeking to meet people who've experienced similar things to you, that's totally understandable, and I think the reason we're all here, to get that validation and understanding, and please rest assure, you'll get that here, this place is so supportive and amazing John
  6. Welcome Back LadyDove, Welcome back to AS
  7. Often what I find is sometimes the Avitars picture can get stuck in the cache of the browser, especially if you're using Firefox, so even though it changes on the site, it doesn't change in the cache, so you see the same picture, with the dimensions of the new one, a way to try and fix that is going to a page with your avitar, and clicking the refresh button Seems to work for me when I'm waiting for it to change John
  8. Yeah what Lindy said - sorry Lindy you hadn't replied when I started replying
  9. Hey Wolfie, Thanks for telling your friend about this board, your friend should have received a validation email which will have a link in it which she'll need to click and then put her AS user name and password into the screen that comes up to validate her account, if she can't find the email in her inbox, maybe she can check her spam box because it might have gotten sorted into there, if she's still unable to validate her account through that method she can send an email to aftersilence.org@gmail.com from the account which she registered with saying she wants to validate her account and include her username in the email, and the account can be validated manually also but this would take longer as the Administrators have to manually validate the members. I hope this helps John
  10. John


    Hey Hillary, Welcome to AfterSilence - I'm glad you've come across AfterSilence, and I hope you can find the comfort and support you deserve here at AS, the people here are really validating and understanding If you ever need someone to talk to about anythining please do PM me, I'm here to help John
  11. Hey Roxy, I'll get someone to send the password to you John
  12. John


    Hey J, Being a male survivor myself I can assure you this place is very accepting of all survivors and I'm glad that you've decided to come here, this place is very supportive, validating and understanding. I look forward to seeing you here at AS John
  13. I'd really like to see something like this because I was abused by a female so know first hand that there's certainly unique factors involved with having a female abuser, much like there's unique features with ritual abuse, mother daugther abuse, and other types of abuse. I hope it gets up, but I don't know if it will, because there's so many different types of abuse it might be hard to cover all of them, but figures crossed! Thanks for suggesting it John
  14. Hey blondi, I'm glad you've got such a great support network around you, and I'm glad that you're including AfterSilence into that suppoort network, and I'm looking forward to having you as part of our website Take gentle care John
  15. John

    Hey Everyone

    Hey twinki, You just say whatever feels right for you alrighty , their's no rush, it takes time to open up about these things, but simply coming to this website is an awesome step, and we're all very proud of you coming here, it's a great step in your healing. This place is very healing and understanding place where I am sure you'll fit in and get the understanding and validation you deserve - feel free to PM me if you want to talk at all, here to help John
  16. Hey Allyson, I am glad you're finding comfort here, I'm sorry for the situation you're in, and I really enourage you to contact a local rape crisis centre or refuge, they can remove you from that situation and give you assistance in overcoming what has occured to you We're also here to give you support during this, and validation and understanding which you've already seem to have found here, and I am sure you'll continue to find here, so please know we're here to give you our understanding and help if we can John
  17. Hey MysticWarrior, I'm glad you've decided to come back to AS, and I'm glad you're doing better in terms of your healing, it great you've decided to rejoin the community and we're looking forward to having you here John
  18. Hey detroitflower, I'm glad you're husband referred you to AfterSilence, this is a very supportive and validating place where you don't have to be alone with the pain and the hurt from what you've experienced, you can share it freely here, and we'll be here to support you John
  19. Hey aviah, I'm sorry for all the pain that you've experienced - I don't think you left yourself open to rape at all, you didn't do anything wrong, so what gives them the right to do what they did, nothing at all gives them the right at all...it's totally not your fault I don't think your stupid, I think you're hurting because horrible people have hurt you so bad, and there is a clear difference between being stupid and hurting, you're not stupid, I think you're hurting so I am glad that you've come to AS, to be with others who understand that hurt and can give you validation for what you're feeling Well done on making those first few steps towards healing John
  20. Hey Roxy, How are you going getting onto the boards? If you go to our main page www.aftersilence.org/forum, you should be able to see the various forums we have, from their you can go into the various sections of the board. PM me if you need anymore assistance John
  21. Hey Heather, I used to work in retail, so I totally get what you mean by retail slave, prob why I decided to leave that industry 3 and a half years was long enough for me - I'm also a student, but only part time Full time other thingy I'm glad that you've decided to come here, and I hope you're getting the hang of how things on this website work, if you need a hand please feel free to PM me - this place is really supportive and understanding and I'm sure you'll find the support and understanding you deserve here at AS, and of course my PM box is always open if you need someone lend and ear to listen John
  22. Hey Roxy, Welcome to AfterSilence, I'm glad that you've decided to be apart of our community, and I hope that you can find the support you need here, the community of survivors we have here is very supportive and comforting John
  23. Hehe, that's alright, to be honest, when I first came here it took me ages to find them also...I think we both need glasses!! Ow wait I already have them
  24. Hey Alys, For what it's worth, many of us, myself included, put on a brave face when it comes to appearing as if we've come to terms with what has happened to us, although we maybe at a different stage in our healing then yourself, we're still in the same boat as you, and we're here to support you and each other through this hard time of our lives. Don't be put off by our "togeatherness" trust me we all still have our hard moments, however we support each other through those moments, and grow stronger as survivors as a result of that support, from the validation, understanding and support we get here at AS, and I'm really glad that you've decided to be apart of our community also I look forward to seeing you here John
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