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Everything posted by fall

  1. But yet I had pm's that I had deleted
  2. In my case it is not just after 2011 I am missing lots of topics from when I joined in 2007
  3. I loved the way you described what AS was like when I first started on here - dont' remember how many years ago - lol. I was on here all the time and my husband wondered if it was hurting me. When I had joined here it was after remembering csa and I was devastated. But it is true I was so immersed in it and talking about it in my own topics. And it seemed no matter who I replied to I could related to. It really is a great way to clean out those wounds. When I first started it was so all encompassing I never thought I would see the end I thought my life was over. Now it is so differen
  4. I think it is a good idea. Instead of a topic chat it will be a topic avoidance chat.
  5. Thank you that is beautiful It also takes courage to go through it with us. :flowers:
  6. Lene Thank you very much. :flowers: Your welcome. It was all worth it and I am glad it worked as well as it did. :hug: Pam
  7. :flowers: I want to offer a sincere public apology to Ashley-Michelle. I sent her a private one via PM which she graciously responded to at length. The reason I chose to post this here is because in this thread I made mention of a bad experience with a mod. I feel it only right that I own my part in that and finish what I started. I have had negative and unresolved feelings since last year. Part of it being a feeling of impotence and not knowing what was happening, anger at the rules and how they were presented to me. Every time someone was banned those feelings would rise again.
  8. Thanks azazo I never thought of singing to break the tension The way I sound right now it would be comic relief. :hug: :hug:
  9. I don't think you will get banned. I say that assuming you haven't been in trouble before. :hug: I mean no disrespect to you but I don't think we can (should) say someone is or is not a safety issue. It is a challenging statement and I was hoping to avoid those. I can relate to your not being able to understand why they see your friend as a safety issue. Personally I have trouble with the word "safety" but I can't come up with a better one. But the rules are in place and they are universal and we have to accept that they see something we don't. I have remained in contact wit
  10. Lene Thank you for responding to Cathie's post. Cathie I think this thread is evidence of that fact that we can question. If it is done respectfully and impartially. For the first little while this thread was on the boards lots of views but no responses. I did receive PM's which I was grateful for but it also frustrated me because I wanted the conversation in the open. As I have read the posts I have come to realize that perhaps the mod's were as hesitant as I was. That from experience they know that they can say or do something with the best of intentions and still get attacked
  11. I hope so too because that was not the atmosphere when I started here. :hug: I appreciate that you (all the workers) have been willing to post. I sincerely hope no one got any negative PM's as a result of this thread. I received a nasty PM about a mod once- I could not understand where all the venom was coming from. Not that anyone deserves it but this person really not. I guess when a volcano erupts it doesn't really care what it destroys. I appreciate receiving a couple of examples of what has happened. It helps get a perspective. I also appreciate the reassuring w
  12. :hug: My first time in chat I made a mistake and used the word denial - someone made a response and slammed out. :blush: We all do it
  13. Karen, Lindy, Kelly, Sad, Becky I want to thank you truly and sincerely for the time and effort you have put into your posts. It has laid out very clearly what we can expect and that gives security. Something I have not really felt since last summer. I could never quite understand why some people got banned posting in support of someone else but I did not. I didn't have a copy of my post or anyone else's so there never seemed to be a way to figure it out. I was told to not question a mod. It left me feeling that perhaps I would get the mods in trouble who were trying to help me unde
  14. My comment was more of a general one directed at anyone who is questioning why a member was banned. It wasn't directed at you personally, more just me wondering what would be the most productive way of handling a situation like that. I'm not accusing you of being unfair, not at all. Sorry. I don't believe you are anti- mod. We are all just giving our opinions and sharing our experiences. Thanks for your comment. Thank you for that.
  15. To anyone who posted between my two posts I will get back to them. :hug: atm I require medicine, a nap and prayer that this cold goes away
  16. Becky I thank you for clarifying that because the feeling seems to be becoming one of us vs them (mod's) and that is not something I felt in the beginning. When I joined here the mods were not someone to fear. They were people who were just like me but trusted to do a job. The feeling I had at least was that if I made a mistake someone would point it out to me gently. Not so much since last summer. I have to admit I am having trouble with this because I don't know when I have been "unfair" So if this was not directed at me I apologize. I am not looking for a blow by blow a
  17. Lene It is a very good point. I think the more people the more patience and tolerance required. Angelic I am sorry your experience in chat was not a pleasant one. :hug: I have to give kudo's to Sadeyes the other night when she returned to chat I said "Can I say this sucks?" after receiving an okay I said just that "this sucks" I meant it then and I mean it now. The situation. Not one person or group of persons but the situation. It is not about right or wrong for me that is not my place. I don't like conflict it leaves me feeling unsure and I HATE that. I guess for m
  18. I really agree with the never speak of them again. It feels to me like we need to keep our feelings a secret. Secrets drive me nuts. That we cross some line or betray someone or something by mentioning them. It is a creepy feeling. There is no sense of closure. If I was to lose a friend I would mourn for lack of a better word with those who also feel that loss. So what do I do? They are people I have met here. My husband and T don't understand. How can anyone understand the bonds we make here? When my sister was part of an online grief group I thought she was crazy when she
  19. Maddie :hug: :hug: I am sorry you had a bad experience in chat. I am grateful that my first experiences were good ones. It is why I am sad at the turn things had taken. I miss what was. I am glad you receive support here. :hug: Karen Please feel free to post as much as you want. Your responses to me have always been considerate and supportive. All I wanted to do was open a door. I know that you are very supportive and good at your job. I welcome your input. The ability to talk more openly and freely in chat has improved since it has re opened. I had an experience la
  20. I am frustrated this morning. I am disappointed that there are no more responses here. I am pleased to note that I have received PM's from a mod. That said I don't understand why those comments, that reassurance is offered in private. I was deliberate on trying to bring this into the open. Consciously, respectfully. Futility is such a frustrating thing. I guess I was hoping that at some point we could get to Why were they banned? WAIT - I am not asking, challenging, questioning a decision. What I am doing is trying to understand what it means for me. The reason being. I s
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