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aprilbaby49

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  1. aprilbaby49

    Coping

    I have read a lot lately about not knowing what to write or say. If only I could truly express my feelings in words. I want to live my life knowing I never knew it was going to happen. Was there a reason it happened? Don't they say everything happens for a reason. What is the reasoning for this. I am meant to relive these nights just because. My counselor seems understanding, and is what I always wanted. I know I can not live with the memories creeping back daily. If someone passes away or you break up with someone, it gets easier as time goes on. This seems harder, time goes by but
  2. I finally reported. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt as though I was watching myself. The number of years I had longed to tell an officer my story and it was happening. I can't describe how it felt to tell another person, not my counselor, or you guys, or my support group. I hope for the best, and is the best being he is held accountable, yes. I fear nothing will come of it, and I will be heart broken. I read an entry this morning about apologies. Ever since that day, I no longer let that person have an impact on me. I no longer want to seek an apology that I will never get. I told
  3. Once this happened, I felt like a huge part of me was lost. A piece of me changed. I still feel like me but a piece of my happiness has been stolen. I've read other blogs saying I didn't deserve this, I deserve justice. I want so much for this feeling to go away, and does it take me reporting to do that? I have read articles of people saying it was the best thing they ever did. I never thought I'd need to report the awful thing that lingers in my thoughts day after day night after night. It is so horrible, I push it the back of my mind and pretend I've moved on. If I can't not think a
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