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SaraJane

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    Survivor

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  1. Hello everyone. This is my first time reaching out to any support group about what I've been through. I've seen a lot of support on this site and feel comfortable sharing my experiences and feelings. I'm not really sure how to open this, I've had a lot of different feelings over the years about what happened to me, and often these feelings come up when I least expect it. I was sexually assaulted at age 5 by a trusted neighbor, again at ages 18 and 21 by guys I was friends with, and again at age 27 by my boss who was a public figure. None of the people who assaulted me have been punished for what they did to me, or even acknowledged it. I live with a lot of anger over that, and the fact that somehow I allowed this to happen to me multiple times. I understand that none of these events were my fault, but I still feel at fault for it sometimes. I know I should feel empowered by the fact that I haven't let these things ruin my life, and that I've been able to find happiness and move forward from these horrible experiences, but it's not something you ever really get over, it's just always there with you in the background, waiting to come out at any given moment. I've learned how to handle these times and not allow myself to be overcome with grief and anger and shame, but it is still very difficult. I've spoken with a few friends about my experiences, but no one can truly understand the depth of the pain a sexual assault can inflict on your life unless they have also experienced it. I look forward to hearing from others about their courage and compassion as a survivor, and hope that I can provide some comfort and understanding to other survivors. Thank you for taking the time to read my post, and for being here.
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