I'm 25 from London, been spending the past year taking time to be single and am on a long road trying to regain confidence within myself after abuse at 16.
I am just curious, as I know this might not necessarily even be sexual abuse, but I have spent a lot of time reflecting on trauma from my youth and uncovered this memory from when I was about 12-13. For a period of time me and my mother had to stay at my grandparents house while we were moving. Me and my mother shared a bed for some months, and every night she would masturbate next to me before going to sleep, I guess presuming I was always asleep but I would always be awake the whole time.
I feel like I have obviously repressed this and may be the reason why I feel so much misplaced anger towards my mother?
Just wondering if this even classifies as some kind of trauma, as completely different to other sexual trauma I have experienced, but its quite distressing to me now and I wish i had never remembered it as i really struggle to get it out of my head when it comes.
This is the first time i've even admitted it to myself that something has happened so just hoping for some reassurance before bringing it up to my therapist
Hope everyone is doing okay